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Dining In Suggestions?

PenguinGal

PenguinGal

Can Do!
Contributor
I have been charged with planning a Dining In for my unit's Khaki. We are a blended unit, AD/RC and blended in that we have surface and seabee rates/designators. I am trying to think of fun and funny fines, pranks, jokes, and other such tom foolery.

Current jokes that I have in the works are below.
1. Serve the head table entrees on kiddie plates (think dora the explorer)
2. I have a Build-A-Bear that has dress whites; the first person found to be out of uniform s/he must carry around the bear until s/he learns the proper uniform protocol. (Side note, did you know mini-medals/pins are the perfect size on the Build-A-Bears?)
3. The book Mighty Mighty Construction Site will be loaned to the newest SWO/fleet rate Chief in the unit so that s/he can read up on construction techniques over the course of the evening.
4. The newest CEC/seabee will be handed a toy boat to tote around all night so that they can learn all about the boats that they have never seen before.

Any other suggestions? We are doing both alcoholic and non-alcoholic grog (a poor, unfortunate group has a gun shoot the next day). I am pretty open to just about anything!
 
Toilet bowls for the grog is always a nice touch.

Cap gun to shoot the first "parade the Beef" guy is pretty common, but you could probably get more creative than that.

Ground rules on throwing bread could ratchet up the fun (i.e. don't hit the POW table, only throw at the skipper or the guest of honor in self-defense). Pretty much everything washes out of polyester CNT that chokers are made out of so don't spare the fake blood. Maybe a few beachballs would be a safer alternative to buns flying across the room, although beachballs can and will knock over wine glasses.

Some understanding on paying for damages. Plenty of stories from the old days of someone from the command showing up at the venue the day after, checkbook in hand (figuratively), and the command thus being welcome back at any time.

Marines like to do "feats of strength." I've been to some that involve some, um, impressive horseplay and (mostly) good, clean fun.

Some kind of penalty for getting up to use the head without permission. Make the person tell a joke to the head table, drink from the grog, something like that. You could prepare cue cards with various penalties ready to go, i.e. imitate a certain member of the command, retell some funny story that is mildly embarrassing to some of the people in attendance, sing one of the verses of Anchors Aweigh but sing it in a style that maximizes the awkwardness of the person awarded this penalty (opera, lounge, thrash metal), give a mock safety brief for liberty at an establishment of ill repute...

Anything involving live animals would be awesome... I'll stop here.
 
We had a dining-out once where the everyone had to use a bouncy-ball to approach the head table and ask for permission to use the head. Watching a woman in a long dress try and use a bouncy ball is, entertaining, to say the least :-)
 
Never underestimate the value of one person's buffoonery becoming a running gag. As an example, I was the victim of that awhile back (shit; it's been over 10 years :eek:). CQed shortly before the occasion, made the mistake of keying the mike on my first trap, and the resulting radio comm ended up being adapted into a running joke for the entire night . . . and I got fined EVERY DAMN TIME! Not to bore you with inside joke-land, but the way they did it was so flat-out funny, it was obviously fun harassment, not actual "we hate you" harassment. You kind of had to be there. By the end of the night, I'd spun my continuous fines off into three completely unrelated jokes involving other people; it was great.

Mr. or Ms. Vice is a make-or-break job, and it's completely personality-driven. A good vice is the difference between a legendary dining out and "meh, that was lame." That said, that's a continuum, not an either/or. It needs to be a JO, but besides that, rank matters precisely squat. Try to find the most naturally funny JO who isn't afraid to bust on the O-4+ crowd . . . within reason, of course. Not the one who has a few and then turns into a raging douche (haven't seen that happen; just saying). That said, Mr. or Ms. Vice's inability to do their job can become a source of hilarity in and of itself . . . I've also seen Mr. Vice have a slow start to the evening, followed by his (civilian) wife dropping an absolute bomb on someone. Mr. Vice got fired, and replaced with Mrs. Vice. :D

Oh, and with regard to the head . . . yeah, it's fun to catch people out here and there, but don't be a dick. Know when to let someone request permission for the mess to briefly adjourn and shed a tear for Lord Nelson. Especially when it's a dining out, not a dining in, and marital strife is possible.

Props for including your reservists; the dinings out I've been to have been some of the most flat-out fun I've had . . . at least in an official capacity, that is. :)
 
I just realized my fake blood comment, that was supposed to be about the "parade the beef/unfit for consumption" part, is a little ways down after throwing bread. Uh, fake blood with flying bread should probably not be part of the plan... this isn't a Gallagher concert.

I agree with what @nittany said about not outright harassing people for going to the can. A another way to play that one, if you're doing a dining out with spouses/guests is if somebody's date gets up without "permission," then they have to pay the "fine" while their date is free to answer the call of nature. After about three of these rogue head calls then either the President should announce a ten minute break or Mister Vice should recommend the break and the President concur, in accordance with dining out protocol. If you're doing a dining in with no guests, you can still have that soft rule about breaking after a few people have embarrassed themselves.

Also, what @dodge said. Nominate a couple people to be the "grog vessel committee" and tell them to be creative.

The them gags with children's toys and books are good ones. It would be a shame if one of the toys was sabotaged to break in an embarrassing way, say a piece breaking off the toy boat or a wheel falling off a Tonka truck.
 
dodge said:
Think outside the box. You've got seabees in your group. I'd hope the grog bowl has piping, valves, and other moving parts. Import a rube goldberg machine if you have to. So many possibilities.
Click to expand...
Oh, boy, I forgot @PenguinGal is dealing with a bunch of engineers . . . brilliant! Bonus points if they have to deduce the right way to dispense the grog, and something silly happens if they get it wrong.
 
So I've definitely done a Dining Out in mess dress with dates, never done a dining in. What's the difference?
 
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