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Family Life in the Aviation Career Path

J

jdalbright

New Member
Hi-
I'm a first time poster posting because other threads have not completely answered my question. I am a 2/C Midshipman , and I'm here to seek advice on the matter of having a family in the aviation community to help advise my choice for service assignment. My specific question is: what's the best path to take to have a family and what are the risks involved in going that path (for instance, what if I don't get the platform of my choice?). I don't like sounding like a baby, because I know I joined the military, and I joined to serve my country, but I also feel a responsibility to my family. My wife-to-be is very supportive of whatever I decide to do, for which I'm very grateful, but I also want to make a choice that will be best suited for our future together. I've come onto this site at the recommendation of my brother, a future P-3 pilot, who just got his wings at Corpus to seek the advice of some more experienced members of the military. Thanks for any help you can offer!
 
helo_wifey

helo_wifey

Well-Known Member
jdalbright said:
Hi-
I'm a first time poster posting because other threads have not completely answered my question. I am a 2/C Midshipman , and I'm here to seek advice on the matter of having a family in the aviation community to help advise my choice for service assignment. My specific question is: what's the best path to take to have a family and what are the risks involved in going that path (for instance, what if I don't get the platform of my choice?). I don't like sounding like a baby, because I know I joined the military, and I joined to serve my country, but I also feel a responsibility to my family. My wife-to-be is very supportive of whatever I decide to do, for which I'm very grateful, but I also want to make a choice that will be best suited for our future together. I've come onto this site at the recommendation of my brother, a future P-3 pilot, who just got his wings at Corpus to seek the advice of some more experienced members of the military. Thanks for any help you can offer!
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There are risks in any platform you choose...I honestly don't think one is more safe than the next, and I also don't even think about it day to day. You could get nailed by a bus, or get in a car accident. Life isn't safe :)

As far as a family, its going to be difficult being in the military, period (hell, having a family and being married is difficult no matter what the situation). Whether you're aviation or something else you're going to have to deal with deployments, etc. Your wife will be a single parent while you're out on deployment/TAD/TDY/Etc...again, no way around it.

So the best path is one that takes you in the direction you want to go (I know that sounds vague), and what you want your future to hold. You said you're future wife is going along with it, thats great, you pretty much have the world open to you. Choose the platform that YOU want to fly and what makes YOU happy. When you're happy and making decisions that you feel improve your life, the rest will fall into place.
 
Brett327

Brett327

Well-Known Member
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
jdalbright said:
Hi-
I'm a first time poster posting because other threads have not completely answered my question. I am a 2/C Midshipman , and I'm here to seek advice on the matter of having a family in the aviation community to help advise my choice for service assignment. My specific question is: what's the best path to take to have a family and what are the risks involved in going that path (for instance, what if I don't get the platform of my choice?). I don't like sounding like a baby, because I know I joined the military, and I joined to serve my country, but I also feel a responsibility to my family. My wife-to-be is very supportive of whatever I decide to do, for which I'm very grateful, but I also want to make a choice that will be best suited for our future together. I've come onto this site at the recommendation of my brother, a future P-3 pilot, who just got his wings at Corpus to seek the advice of some more experienced members of the military. Thanks for any help you can offer!
Click to expand...

I think every community has its pluses and minuses WRT family life. I think most people here are going to tell you to pick something you'll enjoy and the rest will take care of itself. With very few exceptions, everyone is going to be deployed and away from family at some point, so I don't know if you can really game your designator or platform selection to the extent you're implying. If I can put on my marriage counselor hat, don't be in a rush to get married. If you're both in it for the right reasons, waiting is the right thing to do. Enough said.

Brett
 
scoober78

scoober78

(HCDAW)
pilot
Contributor
My specific question is: what's the best path to take to have a family and what are the risks involved in going that path (for instance, what if I don't get the platform of my choice?).
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Air Force...;)


In all seriousness though, the Navy/Marine Corps aren't the easiest services (warfare community irregardless) on a family. The short answer to your question is to develop the kind of relationship that can stand separation...because regardless of what you choose, you will go to sea...for extended periods of time. This means you absolutely must have a great relationship with a great, strong woman. No part of life can be below her radar. She will take care of the house (roof fixing and dishwashing), she will pay bills, she will take care of the pets. If there is a doubt in either of your minds if she can do those things...fix it now. If there is a doubt in either of your minds what 6 months of separation will do to you...do not get married.

I know this may not be what you are looking for, but the bottom line is that you need to make a career choice based on the kind of career you want to have. (Driving ships, submarines, aviation) Making a choice like ths based on which will provide the "best" family life, not only does your family a disservice but is setting you up to hate what you do for a living.

Get this straight before you go further...in the Navy, or your relationship. Good luck.
 
BrandonJ1780

BrandonJ1780

Member
"When you're happy and making decisions that you feel improve your life, the rest will fall into place."--Helo_Wifey

Great advice echoed by the other posters. They say "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy," but I've seen it too often be equally true for Dads (Husbands). Don't base your choice of service on what you're not necessarily convinced you'll like the best, in the belief that it'll keep you home more often...Won't be too long before you resent the job, you resent the choice, and lastly--but most tragic--you may resent your wife for what you (wrongly) perceive to be 'cause'.
 
Afterburner76

Afterburner76

Life is Gouda
pilot
MasterBates said:
And odds are about 50/50, that if you choose platform/duty station off your fiancee/wife's preferences, she won't be your wife when you leave there.

Go where YOU want. Let the camp followers deal with it. :D
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Jesus, MB...can we get through ONE post without alluding to your ol' lady???? :confused: ;) haha

I think a new callsign for you might be "Jaded".
 
HAL Pilot

HAL Pilot

Well-Known Member
None
Contributor
WannaGoFast said:
Jesus, MB...can we get through ONE post without alluding to your ol' lady???? :confused: ;) haha

I think a new callsign for you might be "Jaded".
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MB didn't say anything about his ex-wife. He did state an opinion that has a lot of truth to it. I don't know if it is 50%, but the number of divorces in the Navy is pretty high.

Based on my experinces (both personal and seeing what friends have had happen), I completely agree with him. Make your choices based on what you want to fly. Even if you do stay married, if you are flying what you want you will have more job satisfaction and you will be happier. If your professional life is good, chances are your family life will benefit from it too.
 
sodajones

sodajones

Combat Engineer
MasterBates said:
And odds are about 50/50, that if you choose platform/duty station off your fiancee/wife's preferences, she won't be your wife when you leave there.

Go where YOU want. Let the camp followers deal with it. :D
Click to expand...


I laughed so hard reading that last sentence.
 
Brett327

Brett327

Well-Known Member
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
eddie said:
It was number one on Google...

Convince enough people that 2 + 2 is 5, and it may as well be the truth!!! :eek:
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Keeping statistics on a variety of interesting topics is one of the few things the government is good at. CDC, CNHS, BLS, Census Bureau, etc.

Brett
 
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