For the ladies - Female Perspective on Naval Officer Careers

[maryhadalamb]

Hi! I have searched everywhere on the site and couldnt find a place for the ladies! I know there is a forum of "female perspective on ocs" but I wanted to ask some questions on officer life in general for females! More specifically for the aviation community but would love to hear about other communities as well!



I feel the experience of a female aviator could be different than a male officer when considering things like dating or starting a family or even just leadership.



Could any current or former ladies speak on their experience? Was it diffucult to time your kids? Did you enter the service married? What does your social life look like? I am mid twenties hopefully getting a package in here soon and if I only did the service commitment, would see myself getting out around 34-36. Im worried thats old for child bearing and I feel could be very late in life to do yet another career change. Going to be candid and mention my nerviousness about kids and relationships. I know its a sacrifice and it will be hard, but has anyone had sucess?



For context, I would be leaving a nice corporate america job where I have unlimited PTO and a nice salaery. Currently not in a relationship but before considereing military was planning on being more intentional in dating. Will the military limit those chances? I want to have kids thats a priority for me, should I just drop military aviation all together?





What does your weekend look like after flight school? Do you have time to leave to visit friends? I have read on here that taking leave really depends on your commaand but dont count on it as an aviator. Can you still vacation with the girls? I just feel there is a gray area on women in the officer position that still want to do fun things outside of their military career.





Mods if there is a thread already outt there sorry, I can do a thread revival but I couldnt find anything catered to the women!



and for the men out there, would love to hear your perspective on the female naval officers you have encountered ... (good and bad) hopefully more good!

 

[Gatordev]

Hopefully CM and others will stop by, but a few thoughts from the male perspective...

Unless you're in Japan, Lemoore, and maybe Guam, when you're home, dating non-Navy people would be as easy (if not easier) than it is for males in the Navy. The trick will be finding someone who is okay with you constantly going away for periods of time while hanging out with a lot of dudes in the process.

Having a kid while in does happen, but has the potential to create tension with your co-workers. Don't get knocked up during your operational tour(s). You're essentially asking everyone else to pick up your share of the workload for you. It's not uncommon for women to try and plan to get pregnant during their shore tour, but there may be a professional price for that for no other reason than you'll have to be off of work for some period of time.

But let's not put the cart before the horse... It sounds like you have a comfortable lifestyle with a good job and the ability to enjoy time off. Understand that the Navy will be the opposite of that for several years. You'll get plenty of recreational time off during flight school, but you'll also be very busy studying. There will be a lot of studying and not a lot of time off during your first tour. That will ebb some as you gain quals (and is dependent on how your timing works for the deployment schedule). As you move to your shore tour, you can pick a job that may not be as demanding on your time as others, but if you decide the Navy thing is actually pretty cool and want to continue on, those jobs may not be the best move.

If all of that is okay with you and you're willing to give up the overall comfort/secureness of where you are now, you'll be rewarded with so many positive experiences while working with amazing people. But it will require a lot of time and work along the way. Personally, I thought it was worth it.

 

[maryhadalamb]

Hopefully CM and others will stop by, but a few thoughts from the male perspective...

Unless you're in Japan, Lemoore, and maybe Guam, when you're home, dating non-Navy people would be as easy (if not easier) than it is for males in the Navy. The trick will be finding someone who is okay with you constantly going away for periods of time while hanging out with a lot of dudes in the process.

Having a kid while in does happen, but has the potential to create tension with your co-workers. Don't get knocked up during your operational tour(s). You're essentially asking everyone else to pick up your share of the workload for you. It's not uncommon for women to try and plan to get pregnant during their shore tour, but there may be a professional price for that for no other reason than you'll have to be off of work for some period of time.

But let's not put the cart before the horse... It sounds like you have a comfortable lifestyle with a good job and the ability to enjoy time off. Understand that the Navy will be the opposite of that for several years. You'll get plenty of recreational time off during flight school, but you'll also be very busy studying. There will be a lot of studying and not a lot of time off during your first tour. That will ebb some as you gain quals (and is dependent on how your timing works for the deployment schedule). As you move to your shore tour, you can pick a job that may not be as demanding on your time as others, but if you decide the Navy thing is actually pretty cool and want to continue on, those jobs may not be the best move.

If all of that is okay with you and you're willing to give up the overall comfort/secureness of where you are now, you'll be rewarded with so many positive experiences while working with amazing people. But it will require a lot of time and work along the way. Personally, I thought it was worth it.

This is so very very helpful! Thanks for writing that out!

Definitely hear you on timing of family planning. Just my values as a person I wouldn’t want to do something that can interrupt the team due to my absence. Things do happen but never my intention to leave everyone hanging. Still trying to figure out the shore/sea/DH tour jargon but sort of have an understanding of it.

Yes, I do have a cushy job and the things that come along but I am just looking for a change and new pace in life. Hence naval aviation. Candidly I want an actual job and learn/experience unique things that not many people can speak to, amongst other reasons. I’m a lifelong learner and thrive off of learning new things and unknown parts of life. The job that I’m in seems not as interesting as I thought and have always considered going back to school anyways for 2-3 years. My only real hesitations are the military/navy lifestyle. It’s all very foreign to me because I didn’t grow up around or or do I have close friends whom have the same experience. I always hear the stories of military takes away your freedom but seems to be a consensus amongst enlisted sailors unfortunately.

I can wrap my head around that things will be different just wanted insight on how different. But from things that I have read on here, nobody seems to have regretted their time! Which is great news to hear.

Do you feel you have made your best friends here or were you able to maintain your most valuable non military relationships? Are you doing 20+ or have you transitioned to a career outside of the service?

 

[Griz882]

You might find some valuable information here…right on AW!

Looking for a female perspective on OCS

Here's a question for those of you who have already been to, or are currently in, OCS. The biggest advice that I've been given thus far is to try not to stand out. However, most of the videos and photos that I've seen from OCS show maybe one girl in the class. As a female who already gets...

www.airwarriors.com

 

[Randy Daytona]

One possibility is upon completion of your active duty commitment transferring to the reserves for a better work / life balance. The reserves still offer medical as well as a pension when you turn 60.

 

[Mos]

The job that I’m in seems not as interesting as I thought and have always considered going back to school anyways for 2-3 years.

I'm not a female, but I'll just caution that there are plenty of times in my career in naval aviation where the experience was extremely dull and uninteresting, unlike what you tend to see in the movies. Plenty of office work, bureaucracy, and pointless inefficiency in the Navy, even if you're able spend the entire active duty commitment on flying orders like I did. Everyone figures out for themselves whether it's worth it. Most of the women I worked with had a husband and kids at some point, so most seem to work it out somehow.

 

[CommodoreMid]

Hi, now at 17 (!!!) years active, O5 P-8 NFO type. I’m still single, and yeah the Navy makes it harder to date based on optempo, moving frequently, but I’d say more women that I know who stayed in ended up getting married than who stayed single. For me it’s just been no one I’ve dated has worked out. As others have said timing pregnancy as an aviator is hard and to do your best to try to make it happen on shore duty, but life happens.

You absolutely can have a life outside the Navy (not gonna say #doboth) but you have to accept that odds are you will miss holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals. That sucks no matter who you are and never gets easier. But you’re still you and you will have the time for relationship, hobbies, etc. That time might just not be when it’s most convenient for you or your loved ones.

 

[Gatordev]

Do you feel you have made your best friends here or were you able to maintain your most valuable non military relationships? Are you doing 20+ or have you transitioned to a career outside of the service?

My experience was a little different a lot of folks because I constantly moved every 2-3 years. Many end up staying in the same place for at least 6 years at a time. Because I was always moving around (and usually at a minimum across the country) I was always leaving my Navy friends. I'd bump into some again later, but I can't say my "best friends" are from the Navy. All that said, I do miss the people from my time in the Navy.

I did 20 years, though I didn't plan on that. I just kept getting good deals, or at least good enough deals that I tried to make "even gooder."

 

[maryhadalamb]

My experience was a little different a lot of folks because I constantly moved every 2-3 years. Many end up staying in the same place for at least 6 years at a time. Because I was always moving around (and usually at a minimum across the country) I was always leaving my Navy friends. I'd bump into some again later, but I can't say my "best friends" are from the Navy. All that said, I do miss the people from my time in the Navy.

I did 20 years, though I didn't plan on that. I just kept getting good deals, or at least good enough deals that I tried to make "even gooder."

Thanks! I definitely don’t want to come off as “should I do it” more so trying to have some insight as to what I’m getting myself into.

As I’ve gathered a lot of factors is dependent on command, platform, etc.

I may be focused on the wrong things but good to hear those perspectives!

 

[Beaker18]

Hi! I have searched everywhere on the site and couldnt find a place for the ladies! I know there is a forum of "female perspective on ocs" but I wanted to ask some questions on officer life in general for females! More specifically for the aviation community but would love to hear about other communities as well!



I feel the experience of a female aviator could be different than a male officer when considering things like dating or starting a family or even just leadership.



Could any current or former ladies speak on their experience? Was it diffucult to time your kids? Did you enter the service married? What does your social life look like? I am mid twenties hopefully getting a package in here soon and if I only did the service commitment, would see myself getting out around 34-36. Im worried thats old for child bearing and I feel could be very late in life to do yet another career change. Going to be candid and mention my nerviousness about kids and relationships. I know its a sacrifice and it will be hard, but has anyone had sucess?



For context, I would be leaving a nice corporate america job where I have unlimited PTO and a nice salaery. Currently not in a relationship but before considereing military was planning on being more intentional in dating. Will the military limit those chances? I want to have kids thats a priority for me, should I just drop military aviation all together?





What does your weekend look like after flight school? Do you have time to leave to visit friends? I have read on here that taking leave really depends on your commaand but dont count on it as an aviator. Can you still vacation with the girls? I just feel there is a gray area on women in the officer position that still want to do fun things outside of their military career.





Mods if there is a thread already outt there sorry, I can do a thread revival but I couldnt find anything catered to the women!



and for the men out there, would love to hear your perspective on the female naval officers you have encountered ... (good and bad) hopefully more good!

It’s also worth mentioning that the Navy has a career intermission program. It’s useful both for starting a family as well as pursuing advanced degrees. It won’t impact one’s career on paper; however, software, tactics, etc change frequently. Imagine taking a two year break from a sport and then being expected to come back in as a team captain. It can be challenging to get back on the step after the break.

 

[Brett327]

Thanks! I definitely don’t want to come off as “should I do it” more so trying to have some insight as to what I’m getting myself into.

As I’ve gathered a lot of factors is dependent on command, platform, etc.

I may be focused on the wrong things but good to hear those perspectives!

You’re asking the right questions. You sound smart, and self-aware, ambitious. We need folks like you in Naval Aviation.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

If you have instagram, “maneuvering_mic” (remove the quotes) is a female naval aviator and posts a lot relating to being a female in naval aviation / flying.

I would also defer to the actual qualified folks here to verify if her posts are legit/good.

 

[maryhadalamb]

If you have instagram, “maneuvering_mic” (remove the quotes) is a female naval aviator and posts a lot relating to being a female in naval aviation / flying.

I would also defer to the actual qualified folks here to verify if her posts are legit/good.

went down a rabbit hole on her posts and also found a handful of others that seem to do similar things. She definitely has an interesting story

 

[maryhadalamb]

You’re asking the right questions. You sound smart, and self-aware, ambitious. We need folks like you in Naval Aviation.

I appreciate this a lot, of course this is 1)a huge career change but also 2) lifestyle 180 for me and a shift of priorities

For what it’s worth, my perception is that the aviation community is one of its kind and has something special - only from what I have read about here

And even the community here on this forum has given the sense that yes there are things that you will sacrifice but it’s always worth it

 

[DanMa1156]

Still trying to figure out the shore/sea/DH tour jargon but sort of have an understanding of it.

I'll try a crack at simplifying it for you:

For you:
OCS = initial officer training, ~13 weeks in Newport, RI

Flight School = 3 phases, split among Pensacola area, (possibly) Corpus Christi, TX, and (possibly) Meridian, MS or Kingsville, TX; ~1.5-2.5 years depending on the type of aircraft you end up choosing to fly

FRS = at a major hub of the type of aircraft you fly, for most this will be ~ 1 year

None of those 3 will you deploy, you will be home most nights except on detachments and cross countries (at OCS you'll be safely tucked into the warm Navy-provided bed for you!)

JO Tour = 3 years at a duty station that your aircraft is permanently based at. You will workup and deploy during those 3 years, but not all three years. I suspect most would say they were gone 40-60% of the total time if you end up in a carrier air wing (tailhook or rotary wing)

Shore Tour = the "on track" is to go production - whether that's becoming a Top Gun Instructor or equivalent for the type of aircraft or Instructor Pilot. Nowadays for most people this is no shorter than 2 years, and increasingly common that it is no longer than 2 years either. You will be busy but will very highly likely not deploy during this period of time. The "off track" option is to go to a "non production," job which can range from being an NROTC instructor, to the Navy's Voting Assistance Officer, to... literally any shore based job for a Lieutenant/O-3. Your workload will vary based on the choice of that job.

Second JO Tour = for a select few, you'll go back to a squadron or a flying staff job. For most, they go to a deploying ship and work as the ship's crew doing some job tangentially related to flying. You will likely deploy. You will finish your minimum service requirement (8 years after wings for pilots) on this tour. These tours are 2 years long and can be cut short if you...

Do your Department Hear Tour, which = going back to a flying job in a squadron, but this time you'll lead a lot more Sailors, and this time you'll have Officers working under you as well. This job is typically some combination of being in charge of the Safety Department, Admin Department, OPS Department, Maintenance Department, and you may get the opportunity to lead a detachment of aircraft, pilots, and maintainers as well. You will end your tour as the 3rd highest ranked person in the squadron. This is 27 months long. You will deploy.

After this tour, it starts branching out mostly to various staffs or educational opportunities before being screened to become a Commanding Officer of a squadron or other unit.