Hammer joke

[Broadsword2004]

Okay, this is an old one, but one of my favorites still; probably you have all heard it, but for those that haven't:

A small guy is sitting in a bar having a drink, minding his own business. Anyhow, a big, imposing man walks in and takes a seat next to the small guy, and orders a drink. While drinking, he begins describing to other people in the bar about various martial arts techniques he learned while in the military. He turns to the little guy, and knocks him clear off his seat with one type of strike, and says, "Vietnam, 1962!!" The small guy gets back up and sits back down, doing nothing. The big guy goes on and then turns and hits the guy again, knocking him out of his seat again with another move, saying, "Okinawa, 1976!" The small guy does as before and gets back into his seat, and goes on minding his business. The big guy is still going on, then turns around yet again and whacks the guy out of his seat with yet another move, saying, "Korea, 1984!!" This time the small man gets up and walks out of the bar. The man keeps on describing his exploits in the military. A short while later, the small man comes back, carrying a small bag. He walks over to the big guy, pulls a hammer out of the bag, and whacks the big man across the head, then holds up the hammer and says, "Sears, $19.95."

 

[mike_fly_navy]

"Once, while casually discussing military history, one marine said to another marine, 'What is the favorite quote of the French military?' The other marine thought for a second, shrugged his shoulders, then said, 'I give up!' "

I think your quote is better than your joke.

 

[Broadsword2004]

:icon_tong

Well it wasn't my joke, just one that I've always liked that heard a while back.

 

[motiv8r]

I like this one a lot

It's 10 November, 1775 and Captain Samuel Nicholas is in Tun's Tavern. He jumps up on the bar and announces, "Gentlemen, my name is Captain Samuel Nicholas and I am starting the United States Marine Corps. I will give a bottle of rum to anyone who joins right now. Do I have any takers?"

One man stands up and says, "I'll join." He walks to the bar, takes the oath of office, gets his bottle of rum, and then goes to make a head call.

Captain Nicholas, still on the bar, continues: "All right, who else will join me?" This time, nobody gets up.

Captain Nicholas, undeterred, says, "Very well. I'll change the offer. From now on, those who join will get TWO bottles of rum."

Immediately another man jumps up and walks to the bar. He takes the oath, and gets his 2 bottles of rum. He's still standing at the bar when the first Marine to join comes back from the head.

The first Marine looks at him and says, "Say, where did you get those two bottles of rum?"

"I got 'em for joining the Marines" comes the reply.

The first Marine turns to Captain Nicholas, lets out a sigh and says, "Damn, we never got anything like that IN THE OLD CORPS!!!"