Hey guys I am apply to be a commissioned officer and wanted a little constructive criticism on my motivational statement before I submit it. I would like some help on a good opening sentence and any Ideas would be welcome.
Serving in the united states military is a privilege and I wish to serve as a Navy officer and proud member of the world's greatest Navy. I have family that has served and currently serving in the military and it is my turn to carry on the family tradition by defending freedom and democracy around the world. My goal is to become a U.S Naval officer and lead naval sailors with honor & integrity . Throughout my life I have been in a position to serve my community and lead others and I believe now is the time to take the skills I have learned to the Navy where I can continue to grow as an individual and leader while serving my country. There is a continual learning process to leadership and I know the Navy is the place to learn while serving my country. The life of a sailor is filled with daily challenges and I believe that I am capable of overcoming them through hard work and dedication two attributes that I apply in all aspects of my life. I obtained my bachelors degree while working two jobs to pay for my education both of which gave me experience leading and serving my community. While in college I was a residential advisor to the students in university housing and was directly responsible for the well being of 51 students. I was duty bound to enforce campus safety regulations, organize events, and address student problems. My position made me responsible for the well being of my floor where I maintained a safe and orderly environment. The second Job I held was for the campus police department as a student patrol officer where it was my responsibility to assist the police in crime prevention, criminal apprehension, campus security, and patrols. The experience that I gained from working with the police force taught me how to respond to crisis situations, make justified command decisions when warranted, and work in inclement weather. Working both jobs while obtaining my education taught me leadership, work ethic, and time management skills. After my graduation I took the skills that I learned and applied them to my current profession as a substance abuse counselor where I am currently obtaining my licensure. I chose to be a counselor in the field of addictions because it was an opportunity to help others change their life and to be a positive impact on my community. It is my responsibility to teach life skills, discipline, and work ethic to people trying to change their lives in a positive direction. The skills I teach my clients are similar to the core values of the Navy because by practicing honor, courage, and commitment they can change their lives and be upstanding citizens. Although I enjoy helping others and being a role model in my community I couldn't resist the call of the Navy. I made the best decision of my life and enlisted in the Naval reserves as a cryptologic technician (CTR). I enlisted to rise to the challenge of the Navy and serve my country whenever & wherever they need me. The experiences that I have had and the people I have met in the D.E.P has assured me that the Navy is the right branch of service for me because I will have the honor of working with dedicated individuals. The petty officers and officers I met have all inspired me to apply as a commissioned officer. I believe that through the three principals of Honor, courage, and commitment that all challenges can be overcome. If selected to become a Naval officer I would contribute a level head, communication skills, magnanimity, integrity and dedication. It has been my pleasure to have served my community by helping those less fortunate now it is my privilege to serve my country as a proud member of the United States Navy.
Serving in the united states military is a privilege and I wish to serve as a Navy officer and proud member of the world's greatest Navy. I have family that has served and currently serving in the military and it is my turn to carry on the family tradition by defending freedom and democracy around the world. My goal is to become a U.S Naval officer and lead naval sailors with honor & integrity . Throughout my life I have been in a position to serve my community and lead others and I believe now is the time to take the skills I have learned to the Navy where I can continue to grow as an individual and leader while serving my country. There is a continual learning process to leadership and I know the Navy is the place to learn while serving my country. The life of a sailor is filled with daily challenges and I believe that I am capable of overcoming them through hard work and dedication two attributes that I apply in all aspects of my life. I obtained my bachelors degree while working two jobs to pay for my education both of which gave me experience leading and serving my community. While in college I was a residential advisor to the students in university housing and was directly responsible for the well being of 51 students. I was duty bound to enforce campus safety regulations, organize events, and address student problems. My position made me responsible for the well being of my floor where I maintained a safe and orderly environment. The second Job I held was for the campus police department as a student patrol officer where it was my responsibility to assist the police in crime prevention, criminal apprehension, campus security, and patrols. The experience that I gained from working with the police force taught me how to respond to crisis situations, make justified command decisions when warranted, and work in inclement weather. Working both jobs while obtaining my education taught me leadership, work ethic, and time management skills. After my graduation I took the skills that I learned and applied them to my current profession as a substance abuse counselor where I am currently obtaining my licensure. I chose to be a counselor in the field of addictions because it was an opportunity to help others change their life and to be a positive impact on my community. It is my responsibility to teach life skills, discipline, and work ethic to people trying to change their lives in a positive direction. The skills I teach my clients are similar to the core values of the Navy because by practicing honor, courage, and commitment they can change their lives and be upstanding citizens. Although I enjoy helping others and being a role model in my community I couldn't resist the call of the Navy. I made the best decision of my life and enlisted in the Naval reserves as a cryptologic technician (CTR). I enlisted to rise to the challenge of the Navy and serve my country whenever & wherever they need me. The experiences that I have had and the people I have met in the D.E.P has assured me that the Navy is the right branch of service for me because I will have the honor of working with dedicated individuals. The petty officers and officers I met have all inspired me to apply as a commissioned officer. I believe that through the three principals of Honor, courage, and commitment that all challenges can be overcome. If selected to become a Naval officer I would contribute a level head, communication skills, magnanimity, integrity and dedication. It has been my pleasure to have served my community by helping those less fortunate now it is my privilege to serve my country as a proud member of the United States Navy.
