Ill try and explain my situation to the best of my ability in hopes I can get some guidance or help.
(OCT-DEC 2022) Currently I am an AW (NAVAL AIRCREWMAN). I had some medical issues arise while detached overseas where my left heart ventricle pinched leading me to the ER. They diagnosed this pinch as a "collapse" known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Having dealt with this I started experiencing anxiety, depression, and moments of impending doom, given the symptoms mimicked heart attack symptoms. After I was released from the ER I was evaluated by the Flight Surgeon overseas who cleared me to continue flying. I did just that and continued flying even though I expressed to my command I was still having anxiety, depression, and moments of impending doom due to the residue physical pain and psychological thoughts brought on by takotsubo cardiomyopathy. After the detachment I returned home still having these physical and mental health problems where I again expressed them to my command and now to my commands flight surgeon. I asked for referrals to cardiology so I can have a SME look into my health and reassure me I was okay. The command flight surgeon ultimately denied the request to see a cardiologist due to a EKG test results and physical examination.
(DEC 2022-FEB 2023) I was managing the best I could with the physical and mental complication I was facing. Finding help through alterations in my diet, minor cardio and weight lifting, family support, colleague support, and through my significant other which led to me gaining more control over those problems. Though I was gaining more control, this didn't alleviate the issues completely. They would resurface from time to time having me feel as if he was reliving and experiencing symptoms of takotsubo cardiomyopathy again furthering my mental and physical degradation.
(FEB-MAR 2023) My command and command flight surgeon knowing these issues cleared me for another detachment overseas. While I was still coping with everything, I did the best I could but experienced another heart complication that resulted another ER visit. This time I was diagnosed with heart palpitations caused by stress and anxiety which ultimately made me believe I was experiencing takotsubo cardiomyopathy again. My command was notified and decided to COMAIR me home to finally get evaluated by a cardiologist. While being home I finally got referred to see a cardiologist where a plethora of tests were done. They took vitals, blood samples, urine samples, x-rays, EKG, ultra sounds, CT with contrast, stress test, etc. All coming back normal and within healthy limits. The cardiologist then sat there and explained every test in detail and reassured me I was healthy and I was going to be okay. Having this reassurance emotionally broke me and I broke down in the presence of this doctor, feeling thankful for finally being reassured and knowing I was healthy but my battle was mental instead of physical.
(MAR-JUN 2023) The command flight surgeon grounded me after his thorough run up from cardiology until I could be seen by mental health. Being seen by mental health was going to take a few months unfortunately. During the time I was waiting to be seen by mental health, another unfortunate situation developed in my life. It came to my attention that my significant other was cheating on me with my LPO (who is a married man). The cheating took place in my home during the times I was overseas dealing with severe medical issues and while I was home awaiting further treatment. This devastated me honestly and I ended up becoming suicidal and self harming myself (superficially). I reported my situation to my command and asked for help. My command and commands flight surgeon later admitted me into the ER to be seen. After spending 8 hour I was eventually moved to the 5th floor for psychiatric holding. I spent 8 days in the hospital being seen by numerous medical teams designed to help those at their lowest point and learn cognitive behavior skills through group therapy to help in situations such as this. After being released I had a psyche evaluation that resulted me becoming LIMDU (limited duty) and diagnosed with anxiety and adjustment disorder and was given referrals to two outside psychologists and an outpatient liaison to continue his mental health journey.
(JUN-SEP 2023) After being released from the hospital I was picked up from by my Chief where I later reported to the TRIAD where they asked me three questions. "Are you eating? How are you doing? and What do you want to do now?". I replied my apatite was much better as they fed me 3 course meals daily in the hospital, I also said I was doing much better given the therapy I was introduce to, and that I wanted to pursue NJP / court marshal charges against my LPO after reviewing the MCM. During this time I continued seeing my civilian therapists, I pursued my LPO legally through the command, and I was kept at the command for a short period of time but on a split shifts so my LPO and I would not see each other. While working at the command (mind you I have LIMDU orders at this point and was never sent to a LIMDU facility or command) I had a panic attack from after seeing my LPO which caused me to be reevaluated and at this point they removed me from the command seeing that I couldn't be where my LPO was and that it was causing me anxiety and stress. At this time they removed me and sent me to the first lieutenant command on base making me a glorified landscaper (which is not a LIMDU command). While not having TAD orders to this new command ever nor having my LIMDU orders fulfilled I continued going to therapy, pursuing my LPO legally, and altering my life in the best way I could. (I enrolled into college, kept a really healthy whole foods diet, now go to the gym 6 days a week where I incorporate cardio and weight lifting, etc.) Inevitably they swept the investigation under the rug and no punishment came to my LPO which led me to telling my LPO's wife personally of the investigation and what had happened. (I know to some this might not have been the best decision and to others it probably is but after numerous therapy sessions and multiple talks with friends and family I found it to be just.) The command was very upset about this and held a informal captains mast for me resulting in no punishment.
(SEP 2023) After the informal captains mast my TRIAD and commands flight surgeon handed me MILPERSMAN 1440-011 stating I was being forced converted due to medical issues incorporating a suicide attempt, adjustment disorder with acute anxiety and depression, and borderline personality disorder. I was unaware this was happening and didn't understand this because this was the first time any of this was brought to his attention especially a personality disorder. The TRIAD and commands flight surgeon said there was nothing they could do because it was not waiverable but insisted there were no hard feelings. After going home I refused to accept this answer and started reading my medical profile on MHS Genesis because a friend advised I should and I came across no document stating I had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The only diagnosis's I was given in the last year was suicidal ideation, adjustment disorder, and anxiety. Seeing this made feel odd, especially when I was being told one thing but seeing another. I continued research into MILPERSMAN 1440-010, 1440-011, 1220-010, 1306-618, 1306-7 to include the Aeromedical Reference and Waiver Guide (ARWG) specifically the waiver process and everything on psychiatry and I've compiled a list of questions for my flight surgeon. I've reached out to the two therapists I see weekly who assured me I was not on any of the spectrums for any personality disorders and that they will convey their professional opinion in writing for me. I have an appointment to see the navy psychiatrist on the September 12th to discuss everything. I'm hoping for good news and I plan to go in there with questions pertaining to all of this. I'll remain respectful and professional but I'm pressed for time as my command wants me to decide a new rate by Monday the 11th and I don't know what all I can do to stop this from happening.
I know this is a lot and I'm sorry for the lengthy read. I'm just very passionate about my career and my specific rate and I'm trying anything and everything I can to stay AW. If you have any recommendation or guidance please feel free share and thank you.
***I apologize for the use of "friend" throughout this post. I have gone through and personalized it as this pertains to me and I was only trying to be anonymous. In no way was I trying to be disrespectful or dishonest with any of you. Again I'm only asking for help as I feel powerless in this situation***
(OCT-DEC 2022) Currently I am an AW (NAVAL AIRCREWMAN). I had some medical issues arise while detached overseas where my left heart ventricle pinched leading me to the ER. They diagnosed this pinch as a "collapse" known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy. Having dealt with this I started experiencing anxiety, depression, and moments of impending doom, given the symptoms mimicked heart attack symptoms. After I was released from the ER I was evaluated by the Flight Surgeon overseas who cleared me to continue flying. I did just that and continued flying even though I expressed to my command I was still having anxiety, depression, and moments of impending doom due to the residue physical pain and psychological thoughts brought on by takotsubo cardiomyopathy. After the detachment I returned home still having these physical and mental health problems where I again expressed them to my command and now to my commands flight surgeon. I asked for referrals to cardiology so I can have a SME look into my health and reassure me I was okay. The command flight surgeon ultimately denied the request to see a cardiologist due to a EKG test results and physical examination.
(DEC 2022-FEB 2023) I was managing the best I could with the physical and mental complication I was facing. Finding help through alterations in my diet, minor cardio and weight lifting, family support, colleague support, and through my significant other which led to me gaining more control over those problems. Though I was gaining more control, this didn't alleviate the issues completely. They would resurface from time to time having me feel as if he was reliving and experiencing symptoms of takotsubo cardiomyopathy again furthering my mental and physical degradation.
(FEB-MAR 2023) My command and command flight surgeon knowing these issues cleared me for another detachment overseas. While I was still coping with everything, I did the best I could but experienced another heart complication that resulted another ER visit. This time I was diagnosed with heart palpitations caused by stress and anxiety which ultimately made me believe I was experiencing takotsubo cardiomyopathy again. My command was notified and decided to COMAIR me home to finally get evaluated by a cardiologist. While being home I finally got referred to see a cardiologist where a plethora of tests were done. They took vitals, blood samples, urine samples, x-rays, EKG, ultra sounds, CT with contrast, stress test, etc. All coming back normal and within healthy limits. The cardiologist then sat there and explained every test in detail and reassured me I was healthy and I was going to be okay. Having this reassurance emotionally broke me and I broke down in the presence of this doctor, feeling thankful for finally being reassured and knowing I was healthy but my battle was mental instead of physical.
(MAR-JUN 2023) The command flight surgeon grounded me after his thorough run up from cardiology until I could be seen by mental health. Being seen by mental health was going to take a few months unfortunately. During the time I was waiting to be seen by mental health, another unfortunate situation developed in my life. It came to my attention that my significant other was cheating on me with my LPO (who is a married man). The cheating took place in my home during the times I was overseas dealing with severe medical issues and while I was home awaiting further treatment. This devastated me honestly and I ended up becoming suicidal and self harming myself (superficially). I reported my situation to my command and asked for help. My command and commands flight surgeon later admitted me into the ER to be seen. After spending 8 hour I was eventually moved to the 5th floor for psychiatric holding. I spent 8 days in the hospital being seen by numerous medical teams designed to help those at their lowest point and learn cognitive behavior skills through group therapy to help in situations such as this. After being released I had a psyche evaluation that resulted me becoming LIMDU (limited duty) and diagnosed with anxiety and adjustment disorder and was given referrals to two outside psychologists and an outpatient liaison to continue his mental health journey.
(JUN-SEP 2023) After being released from the hospital I was picked up from by my Chief where I later reported to the TRIAD where they asked me three questions. "Are you eating? How are you doing? and What do you want to do now?". I replied my apatite was much better as they fed me 3 course meals daily in the hospital, I also said I was doing much better given the therapy I was introduce to, and that I wanted to pursue NJP / court marshal charges against my LPO after reviewing the MCM. During this time I continued seeing my civilian therapists, I pursued my LPO legally through the command, and I was kept at the command for a short period of time but on a split shifts so my LPO and I would not see each other. While working at the command (mind you I have LIMDU orders at this point and was never sent to a LIMDU facility or command) I had a panic attack from after seeing my LPO which caused me to be reevaluated and at this point they removed me from the command seeing that I couldn't be where my LPO was and that it was causing me anxiety and stress. At this time they removed me and sent me to the first lieutenant command on base making me a glorified landscaper (which is not a LIMDU command). While not having TAD orders to this new command ever nor having my LIMDU orders fulfilled I continued going to therapy, pursuing my LPO legally, and altering my life in the best way I could. (I enrolled into college, kept a really healthy whole foods diet, now go to the gym 6 days a week where I incorporate cardio and weight lifting, etc.) Inevitably they swept the investigation under the rug and no punishment came to my LPO which led me to telling my LPO's wife personally of the investigation and what had happened. (I know to some this might not have been the best decision and to others it probably is but after numerous therapy sessions and multiple talks with friends and family I found it to be just.) The command was very upset about this and held a informal captains mast for me resulting in no punishment.
(SEP 2023) After the informal captains mast my TRIAD and commands flight surgeon handed me MILPERSMAN 1440-011 stating I was being forced converted due to medical issues incorporating a suicide attempt, adjustment disorder with acute anxiety and depression, and borderline personality disorder. I was unaware this was happening and didn't understand this because this was the first time any of this was brought to his attention especially a personality disorder. The TRIAD and commands flight surgeon said there was nothing they could do because it was not waiverable but insisted there were no hard feelings. After going home I refused to accept this answer and started reading my medical profile on MHS Genesis because a friend advised I should and I came across no document stating I had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The only diagnosis's I was given in the last year was suicidal ideation, adjustment disorder, and anxiety. Seeing this made feel odd, especially when I was being told one thing but seeing another. I continued research into MILPERSMAN 1440-010, 1440-011, 1220-010, 1306-618, 1306-7 to include the Aeromedical Reference and Waiver Guide (ARWG) specifically the waiver process and everything on psychiatry and I've compiled a list of questions for my flight surgeon. I've reached out to the two therapists I see weekly who assured me I was not on any of the spectrums for any personality disorders and that they will convey their professional opinion in writing for me. I have an appointment to see the navy psychiatrist on the September 12th to discuss everything. I'm hoping for good news and I plan to go in there with questions pertaining to all of this. I'll remain respectful and professional but I'm pressed for time as my command wants me to decide a new rate by Monday the 11th and I don't know what all I can do to stop this from happening.
I know this is a lot and I'm sorry for the lengthy read. I'm just very passionate about my career and my specific rate and I'm trying anything and everything I can to stay AW. If you have any recommendation or guidance please feel free share and thank you.
***I apologize for the use of "friend" throughout this post. I have gone through and personalized it as this pertains to me and I was only trying to be anonymous. In no way was I trying to be disrespectful or dishonest with any of you. Again I'm only asking for help as I feel powerless in this situation***
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