Manatees Cause Global Warning ‽

[raptor10]

H'Okay, check this out:

I was reading this article here about the massive infrastructure that needs to be built to accomadate the new military base that will be expanded on Guam; having a little chuckle about the General's response to bad behaving Marines, being that you won't find more goal oriented men in the world, and picturing Brett interceding: "yeah, at Bike stealing!"

So I did a little more research and found out that there are parties out there who are diametrically opposed to this proposal! And they actually launched a lawsuit against the DOD!

What most intrigued me about the lawsuit was the name of the plaintiff... The name of the case was Okinawa Dugong v. Gates, so I did some more investigative reporting on just who this Mr. or Mrs. Okinawa Dugong was...

The question I should have asked myself was what is an Okinawa Dugong!

A quick wikipedia search turned up this interesting tidbit

The dugong (Dugong dugon) is a large marine mammal which, together with the manatees, is one of four living species of the order Sirenia.

(emphasis added)

It appears that a large aquatic sea creature launched a lawsuit against the military! But that's not all - Dugong's are related to MANATEES!

Now, I was even more worried and suspicious... I decided to check out how close ties were between Manatees and Dugong's - by investigating this secret "order of Sirenia" and came across this horrible piece of information...

They [Sirenians] attained modest diversity during the Oligocene and Miocene, but have since declined as a result of climatic cooling, oceanographic changes, and human interference.

(emphasis added)

Who has the most to gain from global warning? MANATEES!
Who hates the military the most? MANATEES!
Who should we fear? MANATEES!

America, you've been warned...

Oh, the Huge Manatee, Indeed...

 

[Brett327]

I have been reluctant to bring this up to this point, but the Manatees (not the MB version) and I have a long a sordid past. In my younger years, while on a camping trip to Key West, I was attacked by a Manatee - a carnivorous Manatee to be exact. While enjoying an afternoon nap in my tent, mere feet from the shore, I awoke suddenly to find that the beast had heaved itself on to the shore, worked the zipper to my tent, and had wrapped its jaws painfully around my right knee. Fortunately, I managed to find a camping spatula with which I was able to pry its jaws open and flee to safety. I have since learned that a certain portion of their population, on account of the number of boating accidents their species has sustained, have developed a craving for human flesh and a penchant for revenge. I now bear the physical and emotional scars of that encounter and consider it my righteous duty to spread warning to others.

Brett

 

[FLYTPAY]

I now bear the physical and emotional scars of that encounter and consider it my righteous duty to spread warning to others.

We want to see pics of the scars....both physical and emotional!

 

[raptor10]

I have been reluctant to bring this up to this point, but the Manatees (not the MB version) and I have a long a sordid past. In my younger years, while on a camping trip to Key West, I was attacked by a Manatee - a carnivorous Manatee to be exact. While enjoying an afternoon nap in my tent, mere feet from the shore, I awoke suddenly to find that the beast had heaved itself on to the shore, worked the zipper to my tent, and had wrapped its jaws painfully around my right knee. Fortunately, I managed to find a camping spatula with which I was able to pry its jaws open and flee to safety. I have since learned that a certain portion of their population, on account of the number of boating accidents their species has sustained, have developed a craving for human flesh and a penchant for revenge. I now bear the physical and emotional scars of that encounter and consider it my righteous duty to spread warning to others.

Brett

You had hinted at it before, but never really let us in...

Finally someone else understands! I was viciously attacked while camping at Key West some 12 years ago and I still bear the physical and emotional scars of my ordeal.

Brett

 

[cyristvirus]

Lmao!

 

[Scoob]

H'Okay,...

I just like your sweet reference to "The End of the World".

Nice.







...Alaska can come, too.

 

[MasterBates]

Excellent.

Fear the Manatee, for you are its food.

 

[Slammer2]

anyone want to go clubbing?