Good evening all! I am in the final stages of my application for OCS and I am looking for some advice/pointer/critiques of my motivational statement. I had a lot of territory to cover, so I feel like it may have lost focus and I am hoping you have suggestions to make it more clear/focused/on point. Thank you in advance for all useful input!
There are three main reasons that I would like to be an officer in the United States Navy. First, I believe in the greatness of our country and its Constitution, and I would give my all to defend it. Second, I believe I am a good leader, and I am confident that I would be able to lead sailors effectively. Third, I thrive in a challenging environment, and I cannot conceive of a more honorable challenge than pursuing a career as a Naval Officer.
For as long as I can remember I have aspired to serve my country and I have been serving in the Navy since my initial enlistment in July of 2008 and my departure for Recruit Training in March of 2009, but that was not the beginning of my experience with the sea services. When I turned fourteen in January of 2001, I joined the United States Naval Sea Cadet Corps and through my hard work and dedication to the program I rose to the rank of Chief Petty Officer and filled the billet of Leading Chief Petty Officer for the Worcester (CL-144) Division, which at that time had in excess of thirty cadets. While I was in college I volunteered during breaks as a Midshipman for the Worcester Division, spending time taking cadets on training evolutions and assisting with the unit’s administration and the education of the cadets. After graduating from Saint Anselm College I returned full time to the unit as an Ensign in the position of Operations Officer. In the past five years, I have volunteered well in excess of seven hundred hours both with the Worcester Division and serving on staff at regional trainings.
Throughout high school and college I took on many leadership roles in clubs and service organizations, and I very much enjoyed the responsibility and the labor required to plan events and manage personnel to achieve a specific goal. While at Recruit Training, I held the position of Starboard Watch Section Leader and as such was in charge of the division’s watch bill, deck log, and watch standers. It was a huge responsibility on top of the rigors of boot camp, but it was a challenge which I believe made me a better sailor: teaching me to improvise, adapt, and overcome. Upon completing my initial active duty for training, I became affiliated with the Navy Reserve and was assigned as the Regimental Religious Program Specialist for 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division. Working independently and closely with just a chaplain, supporting the religious needs of hundreds of Marines and Sailors was an awesome responsibility: one which has prepared me well for caring for the Sailors who could be placed under my command, if I am given the opportunity to earn a commission.
During my time as a Drilling Reservist, I volunteered with the regional Navy Funeral Honors team, performing over 350 Funeral Honors details for deceased veterans and retirees of the Navy. The decision to affiliate with the Funeral Honor Guard put me in a position to have a much deeper and more profound respect for the responsibility given to us as defenders of our way of life and those that we love and the sacrifices which have been made by those who have served before us. Serving on the Funeral Honor Guard also gave me the chance to be recognized for my abilities and be selected to be brought on to active duty to coordinate the Funeral Honors Department at Navy Operational Support Center Manchester in Londonderry, NH. Upon assuming duty as the Funeral Honors Leading Petty Officer, I took charge of a team of over thirty officers and enlisted Sailors and an area of responsibility encompassing in excess of 9500 square miles. Working at the NOSC has been a challenging and rewarding task. During my tenure, I have personally been involved in the coordination of in excess of 1250 funeral details; additionally I have managed a Personnel and Information Security program recognized as one of the best in Navy Region Mid-Atlantic Reserve Component Command, been responsible for the NOSC’s Electronic Key Management Program assets, coordinated the Command Urinalysis Program for over 250 Reservists and fifteen full-time support personnel, and acted as a reviewing official for the Defense Travel System. The rewards have come in the recognition I have earned, a Navy Achievement Medal for my work in helping the command excel during its tri-annual command assessment and being designated as an Early Promote Sailor on my evaluation, which allowed me to take the Petty Officer First Class exam a year early on a time in rate waiver and advance to Religious Program Specialist in under four years of service, approximately one third of the Navy-wide average time to advance to E-6. It was truly an accomplishment to be the only RP1 advanced in the last calendar year.
It is my firm belief that as we are provided with freedom by our Constitution and by the blood of those who have sacrificed before us, so we are called to give back to the best of our ability. I firmly believe that I have the necessary qualities, skills, and potential to be an outstanding officer and that this is where I can be of best use to the Navy and my country.
There are three main reasons that I would like to be an officer in the United States Navy. First, I believe in the greatness of our country and its Constitution, and I would give my all to defend it. Second, I believe I am a good leader, and I am confident that I would be able to lead sailors effectively. Third, I thrive in a challenging environment, and I cannot conceive of a more honorable challenge than pursuing a career as a Naval Officer.
For as long as I can remember I have aspired to serve my country and I have been serving in the Navy since my initial enlistment in July of 2008 and my departure for Recruit Training in March of 2009, but that was not the beginning of my experience with the sea services. When I turned fourteen in January of 2001, I joined the United States Naval Sea Cadet Corps and through my hard work and dedication to the program I rose to the rank of Chief Petty Officer and filled the billet of Leading Chief Petty Officer for the Worcester (CL-144) Division, which at that time had in excess of thirty cadets. While I was in college I volunteered during breaks as a Midshipman for the Worcester Division, spending time taking cadets on training evolutions and assisting with the unit’s administration and the education of the cadets. After graduating from Saint Anselm College I returned full time to the unit as an Ensign in the position of Operations Officer. In the past five years, I have volunteered well in excess of seven hundred hours both with the Worcester Division and serving on staff at regional trainings.
Throughout high school and college I took on many leadership roles in clubs and service organizations, and I very much enjoyed the responsibility and the labor required to plan events and manage personnel to achieve a specific goal. While at Recruit Training, I held the position of Starboard Watch Section Leader and as such was in charge of the division’s watch bill, deck log, and watch standers. It was a huge responsibility on top of the rigors of boot camp, but it was a challenge which I believe made me a better sailor: teaching me to improvise, adapt, and overcome. Upon completing my initial active duty for training, I became affiliated with the Navy Reserve and was assigned as the Regimental Religious Program Specialist for 25th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division. Working independently and closely with just a chaplain, supporting the religious needs of hundreds of Marines and Sailors was an awesome responsibility: one which has prepared me well for caring for the Sailors who could be placed under my command, if I am given the opportunity to earn a commission.
During my time as a Drilling Reservist, I volunteered with the regional Navy Funeral Honors team, performing over 350 Funeral Honors details for deceased veterans and retirees of the Navy. The decision to affiliate with the Funeral Honor Guard put me in a position to have a much deeper and more profound respect for the responsibility given to us as defenders of our way of life and those that we love and the sacrifices which have been made by those who have served before us. Serving on the Funeral Honor Guard also gave me the chance to be recognized for my abilities and be selected to be brought on to active duty to coordinate the Funeral Honors Department at Navy Operational Support Center Manchester in Londonderry, NH. Upon assuming duty as the Funeral Honors Leading Petty Officer, I took charge of a team of over thirty officers and enlisted Sailors and an area of responsibility encompassing in excess of 9500 square miles. Working at the NOSC has been a challenging and rewarding task. During my tenure, I have personally been involved in the coordination of in excess of 1250 funeral details; additionally I have managed a Personnel and Information Security program recognized as one of the best in Navy Region Mid-Atlantic Reserve Component Command, been responsible for the NOSC’s Electronic Key Management Program assets, coordinated the Command Urinalysis Program for over 250 Reservists and fifteen full-time support personnel, and acted as a reviewing official for the Defense Travel System. The rewards have come in the recognition I have earned, a Navy Achievement Medal for my work in helping the command excel during its tri-annual command assessment and being designated as an Early Promote Sailor on my evaluation, which allowed me to take the Petty Officer First Class exam a year early on a time in rate waiver and advance to Religious Program Specialist in under four years of service, approximately one third of the Navy-wide average time to advance to E-6. It was truly an accomplishment to be the only RP1 advanced in the last calendar year.
It is my firm belief that as we are provided with freedom by our Constitution and by the blood of those who have sacrificed before us, so we are called to give back to the best of our ability. I firmly believe that I have the necessary qualities, skills, and potential to be an outstanding officer and that this is where I can be of best use to the Navy and my country.