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My letter of reconsideration, advice?

T

TheSparo

el jefe
I am obviously re-applying and would like to know if anyone could take a look at my reconsideration statement to see if it sounds appropriate.

ANY advice will be appreciated, too short, too long?

I am reapplying for OCS after my initial non-select status at the beginning of the year. Since then, I have made numerous improvements, not only to my overall application, but to myself as well.
My grade point average for my most recent semester is one of the best I have ever had in college. When I received my non-select status, it made me realize how much I needed to work to become a better candidate in order to become a Naval Officer. Although my GPA overall is not the most impressive, I feel the last few semesters have really proven how much I have worked to improve myself. I have also been more involved in my community and participated in community service activities as well as intramural sports. Although I cannot afford to take flight lessons at this time, I have flown in personal aircraft to get a hands-on feeling of flying in addition to my knowledge from taking aerodynamics and gas dynamics. I have also included many new letters of recommendation as well as interviews with senior officers around the area.
Please reconsider my overall package with the improvements since my last submittal.
 
blarged

blarged

ready
I am obviously re-applying and would like to know if anyone could take a look at my reconsideration statement to see if it sounds appropriate.

ANY advice will be appreciated, too short, too long?

I am reapplying for OCS [Officer Candidacy School] after my initial non-select status at the beginning of the year <-- No. [I am applying to Officer Candidacy School for a second time and wish to be reconsidered by the SNA community]. Since then [my last application], I have made numerous improvements, not only to my overall application, but to myself as well.
My grade point average for my most recent semester is one of the best I have ever had in college. When I received my non-select status, it made me realize how much I needed to work to become a better candidate in order to become a Naval Officer. Although my GPA overall is not the most impressive <-- Don't say it like that, I feel the last few semesters have really proven how much I have worked to improve myself [As I make an effort to improve on an academic level, I feel that my last few semesters have truly demonstrated my potential.]. I have also been more involved in my community and participated in community service activities as well as intramural sports. Although I cannot afford to take flight lessons at this time <-- Don't make an excuse, I have flown in personal aircraft to get a hands-on feeling of flying in addition to my knowledge from taking aerodynamics and gas dynamics [In attempt to better prepare myself for my future career in aviation, I have taken the time to fly a Cessna 182(?) which only validates my dream to become a Naval Aviator . I have also included many new letters of recommendation as well as interviews with senior officers around the area.
Please reconsider my overall package with the improvements since my last submittal <-- I'm pretty sure that's not a real word [Please reconsider my application as being a Naval Officer and Aviator is my dream that I will continue to pursue].

Those are my thoughts in red. Writing is all about personality, though. So don't be offended by any of my edits or feel like you will offend me if you disagree. Somehow work in that this is your dream and you will continue to re-apply until the dream is fulfilled.
 
BrandonJ1780

BrandonJ1780

Member
Sparo, you put "Officer Candidacy School" as suggested above, and you'll have at least one more letter of reconsideration in your future.
Best wishes, regardless.
 
IRfly

IRfly

Registered User
None
The letter isn't bad, and blarged helped you out. Take it to your recruiter, too. Those guys are good at wordsmithing and know the standard Navy format/language (i.e. Navy writing isn't so much about personality).

By the way, blarged, do you know what you're applying for? Officer Candidacy School? Really?

P.S. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/submittal
 
wlawr005

wlawr005

Well-Known Member
pilot
Contributor
OP,

The edits made above are good ones (except the OCS thing). Remember not to add anything that detracts from your package i.e, no excuses.

Sometimes it's good to say why you had a crappy GPA to begin with and what you learned from the experience. That's a judgement call on your part. The latest GPA will support your argument.

Good luck...
 
blarged

blarged

ready
BrandonJ1780 said:
Sparo, you put "Officer Candidacy School" as suggested above, and you'll have at least one more letter of reconsideration in your future.
Best wishes, regardless.
Click to expand...

Whoops ... :eek: smack me upside the head and call me Sally. I'll go and crawl back in my hole now, hah. Nothing good ever happens when staying up past midnight :icon_wink
 
flyn4pride

flyn4pride

ENS
One thing you need to work on is connecting everything in the body of your letter into why you want to become a Naval Officer. You do not make a single point as to why you want to become an Officer, you only state why you want to become an Aviator. While that is good for wanting to become an Aviator, you should give a sense of feel to your letter as to why becoming a Naval Officer is important to you and your goals in life as well. Just some food for thought.
 
blarged

blarged

ready
flyn4pride said:
One thing you need to work on is connecting everything in the body of your letter into why you want to become a Naval Officer. You do not make a single point as to why you want to become an Officer, you only state why you want to become an Aviator. While that is good for wanting to become an Aviator, you should give a sense of feel to your letter as to why becoming a Naval Officer is important to you and your goals in life as well. Just some food for thought.
Click to expand...

Should the "Why I want to be a Naval Officer" be a part of the reconsideration letter, though? My thoughts are keep the reconsideration letter to the point of what you have done to improve your self/application (the dry analytical stuff) and save the heart felt "I need the Navy and the Navy needs me" for the Personal Statement.

I'm sure it is all just personal preference though.
 
flyn4pride

flyn4pride

ENS
blarged said:
save the heart felt "I need the Navy and the Navy needs me" for the Personal Statement.

I'm sure it is all just personal preference though.
Click to expand...


True, I was thinking it was the same statement, not a completely separate letter. If that's the case then you are right leave that part to the personal statement.
 
T

TheSparo

el jefe
I have a separate motivational statement, which I feel is quite strong. And to my knowledge, the reconsideration statement is by itself, sort of like a cover letter?

Also, thanks all for the kind words and wisdom!

I was second guessing putting the part about my GPA being low, and just mention how it's improved in the past few semesters.

Again, Thanks!

p.s. my current recruiter is of very little help. When I asked him about my letter of reconsideration, he just said yea you need one.. but wouldn't elaborate as to what would be entailed, so searching here helped me develop a base.
 
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