Need Advice

[Airborne502nd]

I was wondering if anybody has any advice for this. I want to become a pilot in the Navy. When I tried to talk to my parents about this they freeked, especially my mom. They had all the typical worries and there are things better thing for me to do. I'm currently a pre-vet student but I have wanted to be a pilot since I been young. My mom thing the minute I sign up I will be sent to Iraq or a war zone. I understand that this is a real possiblity with the world today. I was wondering if any of you had to deal with this with your parents and what you did about. Also does anybody have an advice to help me talk to them about this.

Thanks,

Andy

 

[Desperado619]

One of my employees is currently facing this dilemma. It doesn't help that I tell stories about my stint in the Corps and my recent efforts to get a commission. Basically what I tell him is that he is his own man. No one can (nor should) make important life decisions for you. My mother was extremely proud of my choice to enlist and is even prouder of me wanting to become an officer. I'm sure your parents will feel the same if you address thier concerns.

 

[BurghGuy]

Well, it's always a bit touchy when it comes to good family advice. I had similar thoughts before I joined up too. There are a few things to think about when it comes to this. The first is obviously, how freaked out they are. I mean, my mom was definitely not too keen on me joining up, but I knew she would still love me and that I wouldn't be giving her any really bad mental, physical, or health related problems. I mean, it sounds harsh, but how long are you going to live how your parents want you to? When do you get to start living your life the way you want to? These are all tough questions, depending on your family life. It's understandable to think this way, because some people tend to feel obligated to head in the general direction their parents want them to because, say for example, they paid for the education. It sounds like you have a pretty healthy relationship with your parents, so I would sit them down and really hash it out with them.

Then again, a my friends older brother joined the marines, buzzed his head, showed up for dinner, and THEN told his parents, knowing they'd have never have let him in the first place. The flipped, for about a week and now they are very proud of him. In the end, if they don't seem as though they're going to have a stroke or a heart attack (or both), and don't threaten to disown you, most parents end up being proud of the decision.

Most of the time, with parents, trying to get them to overcome their fears of what might happen to you is impossible. Parents always worry about their children. The best way to help them with it is to prove to them that you know what your getting into and tell them why you want to do it. Most parents eventually understand.

 

[nublett]

Desperado is right. Everyone fears the unknown, its only natural. The world is a dangerous place, but it always has been. Your parents faced fears in their own life, and took risks. My folks tried to talk my out of joining the Navy too but now they admit that it was the best decision I ever made. My advice to you is to finish college and submit an impressive OCS package, while keeping the lines of communication open with your parents. Not everyone gets accepted anyway so cross that bridge when you come to it. When and if you are selected they'll be proud that you were. Pilot training is long and difficult. You won't just get shipped to the desert and told to climb into a cockpit either. There are lots of different sorts of aircraft, and lots of different sorts of missions, and many of them don't involve a warzone. Considering the lenght of time we have been in the middle-east, and the number of "battles" we have been involved in, we have lost relatively few. Statistically speaking, it is more dangerous to drive in the US than to be a forward deployed American service member. We offer our military the best training and the most technical support available in the world. Personally, 1) I'd rather fight them over there than fight them over here and 2) If my number is up anyway... die a hero defending my country than at the hands of a drunk driver. Good luck.

 

[eddie]

I've found one of the best ways to assuage parents' fears is to become incredibly educated about not only the commissioning process, but all things that would involve a career in the Navy.

I remember when I first brougt the idea up with my folks, I had already spent a year here on AirWarriors mining for information gold. Nearly every question, misconception, or worry they had I was able to answer/correct/or assuage. I wouldn't say they are exactly hot on the idea now, but they respect the idea and take me seriously about the whole thing.

Use the site, use the search function, and read the discussions here; like I said, this place is a veritable goldmine.

Good luck and Happy Posting,

Eddie

 

[BOMBSonHAWKEYES]

They might feel safe if you didn't join the military, but do you think they're safe?

 

[BrandonJ1780]

Best advice I can give you, besides search the forums, is drown your folks with facts. Whip out pay scales, timelines (USMC example: for this long I'd be at OCS, and then this long at TBS, then this long at...), career opportunities, etc. I mean anything you yourself understand and can explain to them, hit 'em with it--once they understand the amount of research you've done, it can't hurt...Parents will always put their $.02 in, but sometimes, $.02 is all it is...

 

[Airborne502nd]

Thanks for the advice.

Andy

 

[redmariner97]

Do what you feel is best for you. Don't live your "parents'" lives. And I agree with the above info of knowing the facts and being able to relay them to your mother. Tell your mom that you don't want to look back in 30 years and say, "I regret not applying for the flight program, I'd like to do this to better myself".

Make sure they know that this is your decision and that if something happens to you, in a war-time situation, not to camp outside of the President's house blaming him for your decision. My $0.02 on that subject, and yes I told my mom that; just in case.

 

[nublett]

Do what you feel is best for you. Don't live your "parents'" lives. And I agree with the above info of knowing the facts and being able to relay them to your mother. Tell your mom that you don't want to look back in 30 years and say, "I regret not applying for the flight program, I'd like to do this to better myself".

Make sure they know that this is your decision and that if something happens to you, in a war-time situation, not to camp outside of the President's house blaming him for your decision. My $0.02 on that subject, and yes I told my mom that; just in case.

Kudoos, redmariner! Cindy can kiss my ________ (insert explitive here)!:yell_125:

 

[usnphoenix]

Do whatever you feel is best for you. Bottom line is your parents will worry about you no matter how old you get and will always be worried about their kid go off to war. The best thing you can do is explain your intentions to your parents and tell them that it is really important for you to have their support. Along with what redmariner said, make sure that they know it is your decision so that if something would happen to you, they know you were doing something you truly wanted to do.

Keep in mind that if you do go into the military there are certain things about your job you may not want to tell them just to keep them somewhat sane. I've been wanting to fly since I was a freshman in high school so my mom has had a few years to deal with the fact that her daughter was trying to get into flight school, but I still don't tell her about stalls and spins when she aks how the flights are going.