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NROTC Help

cmask

New Member
Hello,
I am an incoming High School Senior and I have a couple of questions for my application. I am CPR/AED Certified, but I am not an Instructor, so would I put other or mark CPR Instructor? Also I am of Polish descent and in other applications that is a choice for ethnicity, should I put other or none?

Also if you could take the time to read and suggest what I can do for my essay that would help a lot thank you.

Ever since I was a young child it has been a dream of mine to serve in the military. My father was in the Navy for twenty years and retired as a Master Chief Petty Officer. People in both the Navy and Marine Corps have surrounded me my entire life and they have been a huge influence on me. I feel that it is an honor to serve one’s country and a small way to give back to a country that has provided me so much. My parents have instilled in me pride in what I do, in my country and most importantly myself. I have always been fascinated by aircraft and learning about how they work. It has been a dream of mine to fly for the military ever since my Dad was stationed at NAS Jacksonville. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that the Marine Corps would provide me the best opportunity to fly any of a variety of aircraft that interest me. My experiences have taught me to be both a good leader as well as a good follower. I have participated in various sports since I was a small child including football, basketball, and volleyball among others. I have been a team captain on multiple teams and was voted school Vice-President for my senior year. Not only do I feel that I have been called to serve in the Marines, I feel that I am fully prepared to as well.

Thank You for your help
 
You haven't really touched upon what actual qualities make you the person you are. It's great to have pride, but what qualities tell the board you're going to make a good leader? Are you a determined individual? Are you strong-willed? Stuff like that, maybe.

Maybe list some of the teams you were a captain on, too. From what I understand, they don't really care what sports you have played since you were young. They care more about the things you've done in high school. Any clubs, organizations, or volunteer work? Be sure to list those and how they have helped "shape" you.

Last, NROTC is provided to train you to become an Officer, not a pilot. I would get rid of that part. And I highly doubt you are fully prepared to serve as a Marine Officer. (But hey, what do I know? I haven't been there, either.)

Other than that, I would read it aloud to yourself. There are some grammatical issues that should be corrected as well as some rewording of phrases.

Good luck to you!
 
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