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For the ladies - Female Perspective on Naval Officer Careers

S

shouldvecouldve

New Member
This is a question I think about too, I feel the female perspective is limited to the numbers .. but part of me wants to go into aviation to help for the strong women that come after me! We got this!
 
N

number9

Well-Known Member
Contributor
DanMa1156 said:
I'll try a crack at simplifying it for you:

For you:
OCS = initial officer training, ~13 weeks in Newport, RI

Flight School = 3 phases, split among Pensacola area, (possibly) Corpus Christi, TX, and (possibly) Meridian, MS or Kingsville, TX; ~1.5-2.5 years depending on the type of aircraft you end up choosing to fly

FRS = at a major hub of the type of aircraft you fly, for most this will be ~ 1 year

None of those 3 will you deploy, you will be home most nights except on detachments and cross countries (at OCS you'll be safely tucked into the warm Navy-provided bed for you!)

JO Tour = 3 years at a duty station that your aircraft is permanently based at. You will workup and deploy during those 3 years, but not all three years. I suspect most would say they were gone 40-60% of the total time if you end up in a carrier air wing (tailhook or rotary wing)

Shore Tour = the "on track" is to go production - whether that's becoming a Top Gun Instructor or equivalent for the type of aircraft or Instructor Pilot. Nowadays for most people this is no shorter than 2 years, and increasingly common that it is no longer than 2 years either. You will be busy but will very highly likely not deploy during this period of time. The "off track" option is to go to a "non production," job which can range from being an NROTC instructor, to the Navy's Voting Assistance Officer, to... literally any shore based job for a Lieutenant/O-3. Your workload will vary based on the choice of that job.

Second JO Tour = for a select few, you'll go back to a squadron or a flying staff job. For most, they go to a deploying ship and work as the ship's crew doing some job tangentially related to flying. You will likely deploy. You will finish your minimum service requirement (8 years after wings for pilots) on this tour. These tours are 2 years long and can be cut short if you...

Do your Department Hear Tour, which = going back to a flying job in a squadron, but this time you'll lead a lot more Sailors, and this time you'll have Officers working under you as well. This job is typically some combination of being in charge of the Safety Department, Admin Department, OPS Department, Maintenance Department, and you may get the opportunity to lead a detachment of aircraft, pilots, and maintainers as well. You will end your tour as the 3rd highest ranked person in the squadron. This is 27 months long. You will deploy.

After this tour, it starts branching out mostly to various staffs or educational opportunities before being screened to become a Commanding Officer of a squadron or other unit.
Click to expand...
Am I right in saying that a Second JO Tour is the same thing as a Disassociated Sea Tour?
 
anghockey

anghockey

Fleens? You're not Fleens!
Oh wow. I haven't posted on AW since I myself was a much younger woman applying to OCS 16 years ago...looking for this information...I accidentally came on here to get an IT number and here I am. I commissioned 15 years ago today. That thread someone shared from 2007 gives bad advice. "Don't stand out" LMAO girl you are going to stand out. Your voice is higher, you're probably shorter, and the women are put on one side of the pway. Some folks on here have given some good gouge on what the career path looks like.

BLUF: The question is, "would you be happy if you never joined the military/flew or would you always feel like something was missing if you didn't?" Forget everything else.

Buckle up, the rest is a novel.

I'm not an aviator (happily partnered to one...we did NOT meet at work)...intel...I was on sea duty for the entirety of my 20s. I thought I'd get out at 30. I did...except I then went into the reserves and started my civilian career all over again. I'm now an executive at a major national nonprofit, ex-fed, and XO of a reserve unit. I thought I'd be four and done. I was 7 active and then am now at 15.5 years and counting. I've had a successful military and civilian career and mentor a lot of women, JOs, combos of the two. As a Reservist we see a LOT of direct commission officers who join the Reserves in their 30s because they made other choices earlier on and the call to serve never went away. So back to the original question: would you be happy if you DIDN't serve?

When I was in your place, I asked the same question about dating, relationships, and kids. You will have a life in the Navy. sometimes it might be a wild, wild life, but it's a life.

When I joined, I was single and didn't have kids. I cared a lot about finding my person. I'm not straight (lol and I joined before DADT was repealed) but date mostly men. I found that most men were deeply insecure about my serving. The reason most military women are with military men is those are the only men who are secure enough and even then a lot of them, well, the odds are good but the goods are odd. I did in fact meet my person when I was a 24-year old ensign--he was recently off active duty and flying in the Reserves at the time we broke up when I was a 25-year old LTJG. We lost touch and got back together 12 years later when I was a 37 year old LCDR (note: during that time he got married, had a few kids, left the Reserves to start a family, got divorced, started flying privately, then found me again). During those intervening years I was in more than one long term relationship (and some situationships lol).

I've had such an awesome life and a lot of it is because I've served. I'm happily partnered, I've traveled the world (50 countries!), I have two masters degrees (GI bill and the other the Navy paid for...thanks War College!), no debt, I own my house and two cars. I don't have kids yet but I ended up with some really amazing step kids and I froze my eggs at multiple points starting in my early 30s so it's not off the table (I was planning to become a single mom by choice at 40 if I hadn't met the person). I actually called off a wedding when I was 30 because I was so desperate to be married and have kids that I almost ended up with the wrong guy! The reason I don't have kids yet in my late 30s is not because of my service. I just didn't meet the right person. There are plenty of people and frankly plenty of badass women in this situation. You could meet the right person and the timing could line up and then boom, unexplained infertility. You have no idea what's going to happen.

What you do have control over is chasing your dreams, and if serving and flying are your dream then you should f**cking do that. OCS sucks but it's 13 weeks (or if you're me and fracture both your tibias, 20 weeks), honestly, no advice will truly truly help besides making the choice not to quit. If you decide you are going to commission, you will commission. Best of luck to you.
 
M

maryhadalamb

Member
anghockey said:
Oh wow. I haven't posted on AW since I myself was a much younger woman applying to OCS 16 years ago...looking for this information...I accidentally came on here to get an IT number and here I am. I commissioned 15 years ago today. That thread someone shared from 2007 gives bad advice. "Don't stand out" LMAO girl you are going to stand out. Your voice is higher, you're probably shorter, and the women are put on one side of the pway. Some folks on here have given some good gouge on what the career path looks like.

BLUF: The question is, "would you be happy if you never joined the military/flew or would you always feel like something was missing if you didn't?" Forget everything else.

Buckle up, the rest is a novel.

I'm not an aviator (happily partnered to one...we did NOT meet at work)...intel...I was on sea duty for the entirety of my 20s. I thought I'd get out at 30. I did...except I then went into the reserves and started my civilian career all over again. I'm now an executive at a major national nonprofit, ex-fed, and XO of a reserve unit. I thought I'd be four and done. I was 7 active and then am now at 15.5 years and counting. I've had a successful military and civilian career and mentor a lot of women, JOs, combos of the two. As a Reservist we see a LOT of direct commission officers who join the Reserves in their 30s because they made other choices earlier on and the call to serve never went away. So back to the original question: would you be happy if you DIDN't serve?

When I was in your place, I asked the same question about dating, relationships, and kids. You will have a life in the Navy. sometimes it might be a wild, wild life, but it's a life.

When I joined, I was single and didn't have kids. I cared a lot about finding my person. I'm not straight (lol and I joined before DADT was repealed) but date mostly men. I found that most men were deeply insecure about my serving. The reason most military women are with military men is those are the only men who are secure enough and even then a lot of them, well, the odds are good but the goods are odd. I did in fact meet my person when I was a 24-year old ensign--he was recently off active duty and flying in the Reserves at the time we broke up when I was a 25-year old LTJG. We lost touch and got back together 12 years later when I was a 37 year old LCDR (note: during that time he got married, had a few kids, left the Reserves to start a family, got divorced, started flying privately, then found me again). During those intervening years I was in more than one long term relationship (and some situationships lol).

I've had such an awesome life and a lot of it is because I've served. I'm happily partnered, I've traveled the world (50 countries!), I have two masters degrees (GI bill and the other the Navy paid for...thanks War College!), no debt, I own my house and two cars. I don't have kids yet but I ended up with some really amazing step kids and I froze my eggs at multiple points starting in my early 30s so it's not off the table (I was planning to become a single mom by choice at 40 if I hadn't met the person). I actually called off a wedding when I was 30 because I was so desperate to be married and have kids that I almost ended up with the wrong guy! The reason I don't have kids yet in my late 30s is not because of my service. I just didn't meet the right person. There are plenty of people and frankly plenty of badass women in this situation. You could meet the right person and the timing could line up and then boom, unexplained infertility. You have no idea what's going to happen.

What you do have control over is chasing your dreams, and if serving and flying are your dream then you should f**cking do that. OCS sucks but it's 13 weeks (or if you're me and fracture both your tibias, 20 weeks), honestly, no advice will truly truly help besides making the choice not to quit. If you decide you are going to commission, you will commission. Best of luck to you.
Click to expand...
Wow! Such a thoughtful response and write up, I appreciate this perspective!! You mentioned that life still happens and its just a matter of figureing out where to allocate your time outside of the navy which is good to hear.

I definitely always ask myself that question and unfortunately go back and forth with yes and no as it sometimes feels like it depends on my current life circumstances, more often YES to military/officer career than NO which is good news.

I have done the research about freezing eggs and such and that it really is "never too late" to have children with how far medicine has advanced. I think I just find myself comparingg to the peers around my age who are quickly getting married and having kids.

I wont lie and say that family planning isnt a priority for me, as it 1000% is but I am also okay with doing the single mom by choice gig because I truely want to experice all that motherhood has to offer if given the chance.

I always get worked up if these are the right questions to ask and yes, I am the only one that canr eally answer, but its insightful to hear from those who have ACTUALLY gone through these debates and lived through a military career whether or not they had kids and what they witnessed/experiened.

All in all, I feel it CAN be done which is also exciting and good to hear, and there will be challenges, BUT there is also a possibility that it never happens and that includes whether or not I join to serve or continue my life as is

I guess that is what life is all about right??

I have so many dreams and aspirations, my hardest decisions I have had is choosing which one to pick at that point in time
 
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