For those of you that will be applying again, take RUFiO's advice on how to improve. However, many of you have sent me your motivational statement and I have some general feedback for all of you because many have done this.
1) Take your time. This statement should NOT be written in a day.
2) Have multiple people who have a strong command of the English language proofread it for you. However, do not feel obligated to make all of the changes they recommend.
3)Speak in active, not passive voice. Many of the statements I have been reading do a decent job about telling a story and explaining your motivation, however there is a ton of passive phrasing and excess wordage. Unless you are applying PAO, they most likely dont have a photo of you so their real impression will be based on what they are reading and I can almost guarantee that many of the officers and community managers reviewing these apps are very well educated and versed in writing.