Mine own "twue wuve" was a Navy Nurse I met in the TV Lounge of the old NAS Miramar BOQ "Commissioned Officers Mess Closed" (e.g., the BOQ Closed Mess. I doubt these exist any longer…).
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A good officer and a good husband?
- Thread starter sodajones
- Start date
Your spouse shouldn't keep you from pursuing a career that will make you happy. Mine did that, and she divorced me anyways. I have always regretted not pursuing a career as a USMC officer. My wife now has let me take other government positions that can be hard on family life because she knew it would make me happy. If you have a chance at a dream..........take it. You're only young once.
FallonFlyer: Glad it worked for you. It worked for other buddies of mine as well. Still married to their P-cola girls. Just reporting my experience.
I still maintain, as does our management: "bid what you want to fly". Of course there is the too true quote: If it flies, floats or fu..s, rent it, it'll be cheaper in the end.
I still maintain, as does our management: "bid what you want to fly". Of course there is the too true quote: If it flies, floats or fu..s, rent it, it'll be cheaper in the end.
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I've got buddy, an NFO, who had the chance to work his way into a major airline after he got out of the Navy. His fiancé/wife couldn't understand the sacrifices he was making to get that job. He was one of those guys who always talked about being a pilot, except for his eyes. In the end, he caved to his other half's wishes and quit the pipeline he was in to become a line pilot for one of the primo civilian airlines. He's doing well in his job, but he isn't a commercial pilot. He would be a wide-body captain these days, making huge bucks.
Bottom line, go for what you want if you really want it. Otherwise you'll regret it the rest of your life and tell bar stories about how you could have been a pilot if only...
Bottom line, go for what you want if you really want it. Otherwise you'll regret it the rest of your life and tell bar stories about how you could have been a pilot if only...
This
I would tread carefully before calling all those Marine officers with successful marriages "unethical". I have lots of Marine friends who are in very good careers AND marriages. I also don't see a question anywhere in your post. It looks as if you are looking for a reason to avoid a particular service. The choice is yours, but if being a Marine Officer is your passion, a family you don't have yet is a lousy excuse not to go after your dream.
I have to applaud the honest assessment. Having the foresight to realize that you might want a family someday, and the maturity to admit that a certain lifestyle likely will not allow you to be the husband/father you want to be is a rare thing. Most people go in ignorant and make the call when the time comes.
There is nothing wrong with asking for information to help you make the best decision possible.
There is nothing wrong with asking for information to help you make the best decision possible.
sodajones
Combat Engineer
First off, I want to apologize for a poorly written question. I did not mean to assert that choosing to be a Marine Officer who is also a father would be an unethical choice. I simply meant to say that most Marines fathers I've seen have either been good at their job or good with their family but not both. Poor writing on my part and I deserve to be called out on that.
Flying for Uncle Sam is an aspiration I have and so is having a family. I'm trying to find a medium that will accommodate both of them. So you may say "don't give up your dream for the family you don't even have yet" but my reply is that both the family and the flying are the dream. The point of my inquiry is to figure out how I can avoid giving up one for the other.
Thank you all for being candid.
Flying for Uncle Sam is an aspiration I have and so is having a family. I'm trying to find a medium that will accommodate both of them. So you may say "don't give up your dream for the family you don't even have yet" but my reply is that both the family and the flying are the dream. The point of my inquiry is to figure out how I can avoid giving up one for the other.
Thank you all for being candid.
I think that fact that you are aware of the potential conflicts and concerned about them suggests you have a good chance at being successful.
Others had posted specifics…here's another "gererality", for what it may be worth:
It takes two to do the lifelong Tango. You have enough passion and commitment within you to be able to balance the heavy challenges (and EXTREME satisfactions) of both the professional and family sides of things. A "right spouse" will have enough as well…in equal balance. Choose wisely. I've even known Navy SEAL officers…assigned to DEVGRU…who were still married to the love of their lives and raising world-class families.
If nothing else, I just wish we could get over the whole "my service/my designator/my MOS/my level of commitment and passion is harder or requires more commitment than yours" thing. That's just a lot of horse-puckey.
It takes two to do the lifelong Tango. You have enough passion and commitment within you to be able to balance the heavy challenges (and EXTREME satisfactions) of both the professional and family sides of things. A "right spouse" will have enough as well…in equal balance. Choose wisely. I've even known Navy SEAL officers…assigned to DEVGRU…who were still married to the love of their lives and raising world-class families.
If nothing else, I just wish we could get over the whole "my service/my designator/my MOS/my level of commitment and passion is harder or requires more commitment than yours" thing. That's just a lot of horse-puckey.
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Consider this: The window of opportunity to become an officer and go to flight school is very limited. The window of opportunity to meet that special lady and start a family never closes. I can tell you that after completing two tours of duty, MOST of my friends are happily married, and quite a few have kids. The ones who aren't are typically the ones who didn't want to be in the first place. I don't know anyone who WANTS a family that isn't at least in a committed relationship at this point in their career.
Get your career started strong while you can, there is plenty of time for family. There is no "silver bullet" that lets you have both right from the get-go. It takes a lot of hard work and no small amount of luck on both fronts, but it can, and is often, done.
Get your career started strong while you can, there is plenty of time for family. There is no "silver bullet" that lets you have both right from the get-go. It takes a lot of hard work and no small amount of luck on both fronts, but it can, and is often, done.
Thread revival in order to share an essay I found online today. While it's Army centric, the principles seem very very transferable and relevant to where this conversation meandered.
Have you thought about the ANG/reserves? Your civilian job would be limited but if you want to be an airline pilot it would fit.