As for careers? I stand by the fact that it can work. It might meaan getting really creative at times and maybe doing more years of entry level work than desired but it can work. post stalk me to see comments from spouses when I was freaking out a few months ago about my job and a PCs. There were some great responses. As to your comments about Admin work and sahw being the only option other than a select few fields that are portable, what do you define as portable? I know my fellow spouses who are architects, engineers, historians, and chemists would argue that those aren't typical fields for portability but that they have made them work.
My point is that your definition of "can work" involves career sacrifices that many people are not willing to make. Deciding to date and marry a servicemember is a personal choice that involves weighing one's priorities. I have two aunts who told their prospective husbands come reenlistment time that it's them or the Navy; one had a long and happy marriage (she passed away not too long ago) and the other is still happily married. The latter has a master's in marketing, owns her own business and wouldn't have been able to pick up and move that every 3-5 years. Starting her own business was a career goal when they met that she wasn't willing to give up and wasn't compatible with the Navy. I'm sure you can find personal anecdotes of people who are satisfied with moving their employment with their military spouse; you can equally find those who are frustrated by it. As neither of us has access to data/surveys on the matter, pointing out personal anecdotes doesn't really prove anything.
The "admin work" comment was an extreme example, but moving every 3 years means being unpromotable in a lot of careers, taking a step back to square one every move in some, and simply unmanageable in others. Additionally, the servicemember can be stationed in an area where the spouse's industry just doesn't exist, even if it's his last choice on the list.
Just ask my cousin,the wife of a highway patrol officer who spends plenty of time alone wondering if her husband will make it off of his shift without incident.
My father is a corrections officer; he was home in some capacity on every holiday. I never opened up Christmas or birthday presents without him. They 'only' work 8 hours a day unless they volunteer for overtime, he gets overtime pay for working on holidays and triple his hourly salary if he works past 8 hours. He worked many 60 hour weeks when I was a teenager because my mom went to graduate school, and that's expensive. I would kill for only spending 60 hours a week on the boat in-port; I averaged 70-90, depending on where my duty days fell that week. But he volunteered for overtime at every opportunity. If he never volunteered for overtime, he would've rarely worked over 50. He also collected time and a half for 20 of those hours and night differential for overnights. So yea, not the same as being at sea and not being home anywhere close to the holiday and collecting a measly $100 career sea pay and like $260 FSA for it, and I really don't buy the sob-story of people who say their law enforcement spouses work a lot. They don't work significantly more or less hours than most people do with many civilian companies doing 9 hour work days to make up for your unpaid lunch hour unless they ask for the OT. Also, law enforcement is not considered a civilian career. But you know what I did as a civilian? Worked on holidays, because people still buy stuff on Christmas, Thanksgiving, and even Arbor Day, too, and companies don't make money by closing up shop.
My brother is a police officer and he is not authorized to work more than 12 hours a day unless some huge catastrophe happens, ie hurricane Sandy; if he wants overtime, it usually has to be on his day off and he has no obligation to say yes. Oh, and he makes more money than me with only 2 years on the job.
I wonder how this compares to vehicle related deaths?
Approximately 430,000 vehicle deaths in the same time period. The current rate is 1/10k people. Last year it was 32,000 people. US population is 313 million people.
Sources:
http://icasualties.org/oef/Fatalities.aspx
http://icasualties.org/iraq/fatalities.aspx
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_motor_vehicle_deaths_in_U.S._by_year