Big question for all pilots

[red92gt]

Well, I've had a lot of time to think while sitting here with a broken foot. As some of you may know, I'm supposed to be at Jrs right now, but instead have to go back next year. Anyway, as I was saying, I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go in the Marines, and about family life a few years down the road. First and foremost, I want to a)Serve my country, b)do it as a Marine, and c)fly (I have an air contract). However, I've been thinking a lot about all of the deployments, moves, and so on. My question is this: Could any pilots fill me in on how often they're deployed (depends on circumstances, I know), how often they move, what family life is like, and ANY other relevant info. This would be very much appreciated. I can't imagine doing anything else in life, and I can't believe that I'm having my doubts. However, family is a big issue for me, and I can't just put it on the backburner... Thanks so much once again for anyone's help/input.

Chris

 

[thull]

Well, I've had a lot of time to think while sitting here with a broken foot. As some of you may know, I'm supposed to be at Jrs right now, but instead have to go back next year. Anyway, as I was saying, I've been doing a lot of thinking about where I want to go in the Marines, and about family life a few years down the road. First and foremost, I want to a)Serve my country, b)do it as a Marine, and c)fly (I have an air contract). However, I've been thinking a lot about all of the deployments, moves, and so on. My question is this: Could any pilots fill me in on how often they're deployed (depends on circumstances, I know), how often they move, what family life is like, and ANY other relevant info. This would be very much appreciated. I can't imagine doing anything else in life, and I can't believe that I'm having my doubts. However, family is a big issue for me, and I can't just put it on the backburner... Thanks so much once again for anyone's help/input.

Chris

sh!t, Chris, I'm in a very similar situation. posted about it in the War Zone as "Venting". I can't really imagine doing anything else. on the other hand, I might have to put my battle-ready demeanor into rescuing my son and raising him myself. just not sure how flying is going to be a part of it...hope the foot heals well,
Troy

 

[phrogdriver]

How often you deploy depends a LOT on your community. For example C-130 guys are gone frequently,, but for shorter periods. Helos have deployed a great deal of late. Some guys are pulling 7 months gone, 5 months home repetitively. It used to be like clockwork. 6 months deployed...just short of 2 years home, 6 mo deployed, repeat a couple times, go to cushy B billet. Now, not so much.

As far as moving, I'd say the average is every 4 years. Some tours will be shorter--I only stayed in Milton 2 years as an IP, others longer. If you plan things right, you could stay in one general area, e.g. New River/Lejeune or Pendleton for several years.

 

[HH-60H]

I can't imagine doing anything else in life, and I can't believe that I'm having my doubts. However, family is a big issue for me, and I can't just put it on the backburner... Thanks so much once again for anyone's help/input.

What part you imagining? Just the cool parts? Military life has a lot of parts that suck, they're called sacrifice. Military life also has a lot of parts that are cooler than you can imagine, they are called adventure. You have to have sacrifice to get adventure.

All that being said, military life is not incompatible with family life, I know plenty of guys who have families and made a career of the military. At the least you can join up, delay the family awhile and see how it looks. If family life still looks more important and not working with your military life then you can get out. At least you will have had the experience and the opportunity to serve.

You can start a family any time in your life, you cannot join the military any time in your life.

 

[red92gt]

What part you imagining? Just the cool parts? Military life has a lot of parts that suck, they're called sacrifice. Military life also has a lot of parts that are cooler than you can imagine, they are called adventure. You have to have sacrifice to get adventure.

All that being said, military life is not incompatible with family life, I know plenty of guys who have families and made a career of the military. At the least you can join up, delay the family awhile and see how it looks. If family life still looks more important and not working with your military life then you can get out. At least you will have had the experience and the opportunity to serve.

You can start a family any time in your life, you cannot join the military any time in your life.

I am well prepared for things that suck, that's not the concern. Thanks for the input so far

 

[HH-60H]

I am well prepared for things that suck, that's not the concern. Thanks for the input so far

Obviously not if you are worrying about family life in the military. That's one of the things that can suck.

 

[ArkhamAsylum]

Alright dude, the bottom line is, yes, there are ways to limit your deployments to maximize your time with the family, but no, you don't have the choice, because EVERYBODY wants these spots. If you have a true warrior's heart, you will work your hardest, accept what is handed to you, and "Thank you sir, may I have another?". When you show up to TBS/API whining about spending time with your "future fiancee" (i.e. girlfriend), there will be little sympathy shown to you. If you end up getting issued a family during your stay in the Corps, they will have to realize from the beginning that this is a committment you made to your country and yourself, and you're obligated to follow it to hell or high water. Maybe you'll get lucky and get into a community with a chill deployment schedule, and maybe you won't. The point is, does it really matter?

 

[riley]

Not that I'm a salty pilot - I'm just finishing up primary, but I thought I'd chime in with a different perspective coming from a business career prior to the Marine Corps.

The Marine Corps will never be conducive to family life. If you wanted to join a service where that is your main focus, I'd suggest the Coast Guard or Air Force. But even then, use the term "conducive" loosley.

I think you are asking the wrong question. The question you want to ask yourself is "Can I be happy doing something else outside of the Corps?" If you can honestly tell yourself that you would be happy doing the 9-5 gig (although I never worked so few hours as that) where you knew you could go home every night, and the wife can complain about those "long" business trips that last 2 days, then by all means, go for it.

However, realize that if you sacrifice your goals and dreams for a family you don't have yet and you are miserable in your job, you will only make your family life miserable. A good friend of mine had a pilot slot for Air Force OTS, she turned it down though, because she was concerned her future husband wouldn't be willing to follow her around. So, she settled down into a big house, nice paying job, married a nice rich guy and is completely miserable. Their marriage is on the rocks because she gave up on this dream of hers.

I had a nice paying career with advancement potential through the roof. My wife had her dream job, and we lived in a city we both loved. We saw each other every day. Yet our marriage was rough because I hated my job - I was miserable and that made her miserable. After three years of this I become a Marine. Best thing that could happen to our marriage. Sure I don't see her as much, but I am happy and she is happy. We appreciate each other more and we are excited about the adventure. The closest friends we've ever made have been in the military.

Every job you will ever hold will have its good points and bad points. There is just as much political B.S. in the civilian world as in the military. The grass is always greener.......

 

[Spin]

Not that I'm a salty pilot - I'm just finishing up primary, but I thought I'd chime in with a different perspective coming from a business career prior to the Marine Corps.

The Marine Corps will never be conducive to family life. If you wanted to join a service where that is your main focus, I'd suggest the Coast Guard or Air Force. But even then, use the term "conducive" loosley.

I think you are asking the wrong question. The question you want to ask yourself is "Can I be happy doing something else outside of the Corps?" If you can honestly tell yourself that you would be happy doing the 9-5 gig (although I never worked so few hours as that) where you knew you could go home every night, and the wife can complain about those "long" business trips that last 2 days, then by all means, go for it.

However, realize that if you sacrifice your goals and dreams for a family you don't have yet and you are miserable in your job, you will only make your family life miserable. A good friend of mine had a pilot slot for Air Force OTS, she turned it down though, because she was concerned her future husband wouldn't be willing to follow her around. So, she settled down into a big house, nice paying job, married a nice rich guy and is completely miserable. Their marriage is on the rocks because she gave up on this dream of hers.

I had a nice paying career with advancement potential through the roof. My wife had her dream job, and we lived in a city we both loved. We saw each other every day. Yet our marriage was rough because I hated my job - I was miserable and that made her miserable. After three years of this I become a Marine. Best thing that could happen to our marriage. Sure I don't see her as much, but I am happy and she is happy. We appreciate each other more and we are excited about the adventure. The closest friends we've ever made have been in the military.

Every job you will ever hold will have its good points and bad points. There is just as much political B.S. in the civilian world as in the military. The grass is always greener.......

Maybe she's happy BECAUSE she doesn't see you as much ... hehe just kidding.

I somewhat agree with the above. My job as a music producer had me away from home probably more than the military has (so far - I'm only in advanced) and while I wasn't married then ... I could easily see that if that was my full time job now that I would have just as hectic / unpredicable a schedule as I do in the military. Just one perspective of the MANY that exist.

 

[Blaise]

Does anyone have a wife who's career is not relocation friendly? I'm pretty far from marriage but the last girl I date went off to med school, and thats pretty much something that ties you down to one place for every 3-4 years. Has that worked out for anyone or will your wife's career have to suffer for yours?

Edit: Riley, sounds like its working for you, so marriage happens during vacation and down time?

 

[Goober]

I would think it's tougher for a Marine spouse considering all the garden spots in metropolitan areas like NC and SC go, but a lot of it will depend on her career field. Even w/ larger cities as is usually the case for the Navy side, it's no cakewalk considering you may not be there for more than 3 years. Makes it tough to get established WRT to their careers sometimes. Again - career specific in many cases.

 

[Brett327]

Does anyone have a wife who's career is not relocation friendly? I'm pretty far from marriage but the last girl I date went off to med school, and thats pretty much something that ties you down to one place for every 3-4 years. Has that worked out for anyone or will your wife's career have to suffer for yours?

Edit: Riley, sounds like its working for you, so marriage happens during vacation and down time?

Of course it depends on a great many things, like where you end up, but lots of folks who end up in the more remote duty stations (Lemoore, Whidbey, Yuma, etc) have trouble with their spouse not being able to find work in their fields. Part of the cost of doing business (and freedom), and should definitely be thoroughly discussed with your future spouse prior to making a big commitment.

Brett

 

[Blaise]

Thanks for the replies, just looking ahead.

 

[KnightNArmor]

I'm a new 46 pilot just going through the replacement syllabus. My wife, of a year and half now, is a surface warfare officer. I think in the time that we've been married that we've spent about 3 months together. Either she's been on deployment, or she's been at sea working up for a deployment. Me, I've been in flight school for the last 2 years....
Family is what you want to make of it. We're happy... gonna be happier in a month when she gets home. But the truth of it is we knew that this was the way life was going to be. We don't have any kids, but we've got a couple dogs.
I'll tell ya this too....she is getting out of the navy next year, so we'll have more time together. But, we both knew what we were doing when we got married and we accepted the fact that we weren't going to see each other a lot. I think it's strengthened our marriage some, but it's made it harder than you can imagine too....

 

[FMRAM]

My wife, of a year and half now, is a surface warfare officer.

So who "wears the shoes" in the relationship?