Yeah, I didn't just take 11 credits, I took 30. Came out with 11.
So it's a must that I find a way to retake some classes.
Would it behoove me to at least meet with my SUU advisor and see how many of those credits I could make up?
You shouldn't need to retake the classes, per se. If you were to get your degree from SUU, you may be able to retake the classes, and have your GPA reported as the made up grades (if it works anything like it does at UU). If you transfer later, however, its possible that your transcript would show both the F and the subsequent retake grade. This would be no different than if you just transferred first, and took the classes at your new school.
You would be well served to at least talk to your advisor, but make sure he/she knows you intend to transfer (if you do), so she can tell you whether or not you'll be wasting your time.
I've toured Westminster and Weber State. I guess it just made the most sense to aim for the Moon but be ok with landing in the clouds, University wise.
That's a good strategy. The Navy asks that your degree be accredited, so a Dixie or even SUU degree can suffice. But going to BYU/UU/WSU or wherever can't hurt
What reserves am I looking at? Just the National Guard?
Air Force.
If you go AF, you have Hill up in Ogden. The Army has a small presence in UT, but the Navy is infinitesimal. They may be options, but I hadn't explored it.
NG and ANG are complicated. You should talk with someone with extensive Guard experience if you want to go that route. You are essentially locked in UT and in the Guard, so if you wanted to move for whatever reason (grad school?), go active, or transfer to, say, the Navy, it can get complicated.
If you look at AFR, or UT ANG, the easiest way to fly would probably be the AF. I believe that once you get your degree, it is possible to commission as a Guard pilot, although you won't be able to fly full time.*
*Suggestions based on anecdotal information and personal research. Consult someone with first-hand knowledge before making any life decisions.