Do Long Flights Make you Poo?

[Njc242]

Hey guys, I have posted this over in Fighter Ops just to see the kind of responses I would get, and a lot of people were interested. So I posted it over on Base Ops, before I knew about you guys, and I got little.

So I want info from the hard core guys, as it seems most of the guys from Base Ops are flying cargo or helicopters, do not get me wrong I like both, but here there is a larger group of Jet Guys. So here is my question!

I just got done a two hour car ride and my butt started hurting from sitting down for so long, and now I am wondering about something.

When pilots or NFO's go on long flights, how do they stretch out their legs? Jet guys, or Helo guys, anyone in a small confined space, how do you deal with it? What do you do for food on a deployment? Have you ever had a close call with mother nature? (bathroom) how about the smokers?

As I am a tall guy 6'4 and a wannabe NFo I am very curious to the response you guys will give.

Thanks!

 

[Slammer2]

...Have you ever had a close call with mother nature? (bathroom)...

I've learned on here that 42% of pilots poo


http://www.airwarriors.com/forum/showthread.php?t=14733

 

[Catmando]

Open for business.....
(serious reply to follow, ah maybe, much later.)

 

[HuggyU2]

Incoming!!!

Recommend you consider aircraft that fly short missions,... like the U-2.

 

[Brett327]

I've done a few 9.0+ flights strapped to a seat. Bottom line, it sucks and it's uncomfortable, but it's not that big a deal. You always bring food & beverages on those, but I find I enjoy one of life's simple pleasures - the PB&J - all the more at 25000 FT.

Brett

 

[Uncle Fester]

Well, there's always the mighty Hummer. Only way to be a FO, fly from the Boat, and be able to get up and walk around (albeit, hunched over, and you're not going very far, but still). And you can go back in the AEC and shit in privacy, provided you brought your own Hefty bag. More than one guy has got his callsign by pooping at inopportune moments.

The Hummer-D should be coming into the Fleet by the time you get winged, and it'll have a refueling probe. Plus, I think the plan is to eventually retrofit all the Hummer-C's with probes. So the moderately long hops we have now are gonna get a hella lot longer.

Another plug for REI inflatable seat cushions. Costs about $30 and saves ya a whole lot of butt/back pain.

 

[phrogpilot73]

When pilots or NFO's go on long flights, how do they stretch out their legs? Jet guys, or Helo guys, anyone in a small confined space, how do you deal with it? What do you do for food on a deployment? Have you ever had a close call with mother nature? (bathroom) how about the smokers?

As an assault support helo guy, I can tell you that this is how we handle it:

Stretch out legs - our job is to take off and land multiple times per day/night. Just get out and walk around (depending on the timeline of course). If you're not landing much and you don't have time when you land, there's enough room when you're not at the controls to straighten your legs a bit and stretch them.

Food while flying - whatever I felt like brining. Sometimes we had a cooler in the back too.

Mother Nature - see aforementioned poo thread. For #1, I've used the relief tube twice, but would prefer going to the ramp in flight or doing a stub wing check on the deck. Again, we land a lot. #2 - A buddy did a lot of just pooing in his bag, I think his shit-fart separator was broken. I've used a hefty bag, an MRE bag, squatting in the bushes after landing, porta john, etc...

Smokers - OPNAV says no, but if you trust your crew won't rat you out - I've done it in the cockpit. As long as the guys in back can smoke, and the copilot doesn't mind, no one cares. Hell, they used to have ashtrays installed on the Phrog!

 

[Single Seat]

Longest I've done in the Hornet was 9.5 flight time, which was actually close to 12 hours actually IN the jet. It's really not that bad. Like Brett said, you bring snacks, food/water, etc. Plus you're just about always doing something. Tanking, looking at something, going somewhere. It's not just mindless droning down the highway (reffering to OIF/OEF flights here, not long x-country's).

Whenever my legs would start to hurt you can run the seat up, down, pull your feet in, etc. I would also hit the test on the G-suit and fully inflate it for a few seconds, then release. That would get the blood moving again. Of course if you're in something like a Prowler you've got three other people to play 20 questions with.

 

[WheelsUpHeelsUp]

Well, there's always the mighty Hummer. Only way to be a FO, fly from the Boat, and be able to get up and walk around (albeit, hunched over, and you're not going very far, but still). And you can go back in the AEC and shit in privacy, provided you brought your own Hefty bag. More than one guy has got his callsign by pooping at inopportune moments.

.

I don't know about the nowadays Hummeroids but the A and B models came with a aft shitter factory stock. We pulled them because of piss induced corrosion problems in the bilge (rumor has it that mole hole drivers were born without dicks).
Once removed I remember an ensign (VAW123) coming out with an intake cover complete with turds. He caught hell for the rest of the time I was in that squadron, may still to this day for all I know.

 

[HH-60H]

Smokers - OPNAV says no, but if you trust your crew won't rat you out and you don't post it on the internet - I've done it in the cockpit. As long as the guys in back can smoke, and the copilot doesn't mind, no one cares. Hell, they used to have ashtrays installed on the Phrog!

.

 

[HeloBubba]

... other people to play 20 questions with.

We used to play Brevity Code Jeopardy. A 2.5 hour transit from point A to B can get a little dull. We almost always flew with snacks when on deployment.

 

[phrogpilot73]

Smokers - OPNAV says no, but if you trust your crew won't rat you out and you don't post it on the internet - I've done it in the cockpit. As long as the guys in back can smoke, and the copilot doesn't mind, no one cares. Hell, they used to have ashtrays installed on the Phrog!

.[/QUOTE]
I would like to take this opportunity to point out that OPNAV clearly states the use of tobacco PRODUCTS is prohibited. I can't count how many people I flew with that dipped... For some reason, that seemed to be more "accepted" than smoking...

We used to play Brevity Code Jeopardy. A 2.5 hour transit from point A to B can get a little dull. We almost always flew with snacks when on deployment.

Our favorite game was 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon...

 

[HeloBubba]

Our favorite game was 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon...

While 6 degrees is much more fun than Brevity Code Jeopardy, it can't be an entry in a training log.

 

[Uncle Fester]

Also the Movie Game. Someone names an actor, next guy names a movie he was in, next guy names another actor in that movie, next guy names another movie that actor was in, etc etc etc. Repeat until Marshal.

The Hummer Chem Shitter no longer comes factory-standard, though even the brand-new HE2000s still come with the attachment points and there are still NATOPS references to the AEC as the "Lavatory". With the refueling probe on the way, there's agitation in the community to reinstall the thing.

 

[squorch2]

10+ hour VERTREPs aren't uncommon, especially on cross-deck evolutions. You get a chance to get out and use the facilities about once every 2 hours when you fuel.