In what way were sexually assaulted during this event?
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First female cap on Herndon
- Thread starter wingsB4rings
- Start date
Not an academy grad and I know there's a history of misogyny at the institution and in the service as a whole, but I'll ask what makes you believe anything in the above post? The web is full of trolls.
Meryden
New Member
m112598. I graduated in 2011. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted on here like that last night but I was a lil suicidal. Please forgive me. Maybe it’s not usnas fault but sometimes it sure feels like it. Just wish someone would have helped me after I reported it. Just one person. That is all. Sorry I ruined your airworrior party. Must have been nice to take that commission and serve your country. I am a troll now but that feels like my only option… trolling may not be a pretty process to create change but you did read my post and to know someone has has made all the difference to me. Thank you.
This is for all the other female mids ever who didn’t make it. Who can’t bite back, because they don’t dare or because they are no longer here.
Meryden
New Member
I’m stuck on 2008 Herndon because I can’t move on…I literally thought this was going to go un- read as the last post was 2008 on here and I thought I might just help… Please forgive me for causing such a reaction in you and for disturbing your perfect image of the academy. Imagine what it’s like for me. I don’t want to hate usna. I want to love it. I do still love it. It doesn’t mean no one should talk about it’s faults. All those leadersip and ethics classes, I never once heard the Herndon dilemma mentioned. Not one, oh yes it’s been a tradition since women were accepted to the academy. I literally heard this from officers AFTER I was assaulted, like it was common knowledge. Well if it’s so common, fucking talk about it. Give a girl a chance. I had no sister above me that warned me but apparently others got good intel. But that’s my fucking problem I guess. I’ve already said way too much on here. Just know Kristin was a fucking person. I’m a fucking person. Females are assaulted every year. The female cover that is no more was personal to me because I am a female. And now it’s gone. So what does that say to women?
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Whether I believe you or not, I hope you get through your hardships and don't harm yourself. There are plenty of resources out there (e.g., https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).
You're wrong about me or anyone here thinking the academy or the Navy by extension are perfect. Finding fault with our organization and its leadership is a sailor's pastime.
I'm very sorry to hear what happened to you. USNA '10 here, Male. I will say, I was a pretty thin guy at the end of my Plebe Year, and several of my firsties who preached the Academy drumbeat all year long came up to me on the day of Herndon, knowing I'd be near the top, and told me to not let a woman's cover get up there. I was kind of shocked. I resolved to not be like them and I wasn't.
With that said, I never have once heard of a tradition of sexual assault taking place during Herndon. I mean, it's literally done in broad daylight with parents and local media as onlookers. None of my friends ever talked about going to Herndon with any goal other than to get to the top and swap the Dixie hat with the Cover. I'm not disputing that something happened to you, though, and for that, I'm sorry. I think the reason people are skeptical are because we're all fully clothed and it's done in broad daylight, right?
We want to help you though and please don't do anything that will lead to self-harm. There are outlets out there, and if you need to talk, PM me and I'll send you my details. I'm sorry apparently no one helped you while we were at USNA.
As far as the new female covers go, I guess, I would just say, that I know of no man on Active Duty was advocating for them. If I recall, that was a SECNAV Mabus decision done after a couple years worth of studies and wear tests to see what women thought and it was decided to go with the current design. No one has forgotten about your friend and no one forgets women are in the Navy just because there are new covers out there. The intention behind the uniform shifts was certainly to provide a greater sense of belonging, not a reduced sense.
With that said, I never have once heard of a tradition of sexual assault taking place during Herndon. I mean, it's literally done in broad daylight with parents and local media as onlookers. None of my friends ever talked about going to Herndon with any goal other than to get to the top and swap the Dixie hat with the Cover. I'm not disputing that something happened to you, though, and for that, I'm sorry. I think the reason people are skeptical are because we're all fully clothed and it's done in broad daylight, right?
We want to help you though and please don't do anything that will lead to self-harm. There are outlets out there, and if you need to talk, PM me and I'll send you my details. I'm sorry apparently no one helped you while we were at USNA.
As far as the new female covers go, I guess, I would just say, that I know of no man on Active Duty was advocating for them. If I recall, that was a SECNAV Mabus decision done after a couple years worth of studies and wear tests to see what women thought and it was decided to go with the current design. No one has forgotten about your friend and no one forgets women are in the Navy just because there are new covers out there. The intention behind the uniform shifts was certainly to provide a greater sense of belonging, not a reduced sense.
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Meryden
New Member
Yes I was told by several people who were Lts at the time that it’s been happening for years. I know not everyone had that agenda and I know not all male mids are predators, definitely not what I’m saying. I appreciate your response.]
Thank you. Me either . Until after I was sexually assaulted? We’re you? I appreciate your response however and I can’t not be angry while trying to communicate. Yes two different LTs at the time, the only two I confided in, told me it’s been happening for years. Like it’s common knowledge. Your outrage was also mine! Like wtf. To be clear just because I’m angry does not mean I think all of my shipmates were predators, just some, and just that it’s a nice place to be for them to be sometimes when no one ever talks about it. No ones looking out for what they don’t warn you about.
And yes it is don’t in broad daylight with people taking pictures, cheering, being sprayed with a hose. Imagine my memories. I’m fine. I will be fine now. Thanks again
Meryden
New Member
Were you? * Meaning no one would have told you about that “tradition”unless you were. How would you know? Not being sarcastic. Just saying, like I was told, after the fact.
Yes, I’ve had 14 years of help on this one, thank you. Sorry I made a typo.
Meryden
New Member
Meryden
New Member
And there’s a tradition of not letting women get to the top. When you’re not allowed to pull women down anymore what else can people do? Intimidation in the form of verbal threats and sexual assault. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
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This I recognize and disagree with. I saw it happen and thought it was wrong then too.
I think that your (awful) experience hasn't shared by every other woman in the service. I do believe that it is recognized, and that it is as endemic in the military as racism is. To think otherwise is foolish- the military is only a subset of our homogenous society. Hell, we even had a couple of folks inside of our military who thought that overthrowing our government was a good idea.
I recognize that complexities exist that I can't understand regarding women's experience in the military, and in aviation specifically.
But I also know that my experience has been one that women are accepted as equal members of the ready room/wardroom/officer cadre. A good pilot is a good pilot, and a good officer is a good officer, a good person is a good person, no matter if you have 2 X's or an X and a Y chromosome.
I'm sorry your experience didn't leave you to believe that your brothers and sisters in arms wouldn't do right by you, wouldn't defend you when you needed them to; or worse, stood idly by, perhaps even defending, the supposed brother or sister who harmed you. That's not who we are supposed to be, and those who harmed you deserve to be keel hauled, and those who didn't do anything about it deserve to have their swords broken over their asses and dropped off at the gate.
On a side note, I'm not sure why you joined this message board- you may not either. Perhaps it's an easy place to lash out anonymously. Perhaps you were looking to connect with folks who shared your experience. Maybe you wanted to discuss Naval Aviation and got sucked into a whirlpool of emotions. The folks here can be assholes as much as they can be insightful, and they are susceptible to the same keyboard courage that everyone else is.
Even if someone doesn't agree with them, I think everyone here will say that everyone else's experiences and opinions are valid.