Kbay:
O-Club: Probably the most aesthetically nice O-Club in the world. Seriously, brand new, nice flat screen TV, good shuffleboard table. Food? Eh, on a 1 to 10, 6 AT BEST. Socially speaking? SUCKS. Look at it this way, Friday night in Hawaii, what chick is going to subject herself to a 'random' full car search in order to get onto a Marine Base (no offense guys) on one of the furthest points on the island? ZERO. That said, if you are stuck on the base, but you can drink (i.e. you have a 'window' on a Friday but you have a Sat flight), it isn't TOO terrible.
Kailua:
'Tropics' isn't too bad. Again, great shuffleboard table, decent live music. More women than the O-Club, but you're also competing with every enlisted Marine and Sailor who stumbled out the gate and made it there. Also infested with roaches. Not kidding. I always hold my beer up to check and see if one has crawled in and died.
I also went with a TACCO buddy once on a pub crawl there, he puked all over the floor, no one cared, take that for what it's worth. There is a decent karaoke place a few doors down, can't remember the name. Occasionally populated by U of H co-eds.
Honolulu:
Hooters (in Aloha Tower) sucks, like it does everywhere. Don't bother. Save your money and go to a strip joint.
Gordan Biersch (also Aloha Tower) has AWESOME live entertainment on Fridays around happy hour, great place for pre-game booze and food. Better than average female to male ratio.
Bikini Cantina (if it is still called that, also in Aloha Tower) SUCKS. Way expensive, no women, other than the 'pretty hot' waitresses. Good luck with that.
Hank's: in Chinatown. Fun to just get wasted at, with no agenda. CRAZY local drug addicts/hookers/pimps/etc roll in and out. Excellent people watching perch. I swear I saw both "Tyrone" and "Silky Johnston" from Chappelle Show there.
Murphy's: Hawaii's only true Irish Pub. Good food, good draft and Irish whiskey selection, way cool staff. if you live in Honolulu, become a regular and they will treat you right. Another great pre-game spot, gets quiet after 9pm on weekends. More good shuffleboard.
Club New Pattaya: North Chinatown. The name says it all. OK, not really, its VERY shady, but once you've been to the REAL Pattaya, you have to go to Hawaii's attempt just to take a picture under the sign and see the Mahu (transvestites) for yourself. Then move along, quickly.
Indigo: Nice upscale polynesian bar and restaurant. Food is pricey, but worth it. Good weeknight spot, ask around to see when the current 'hot' night is. Female clientele is abundant and high-quality. Good live music, house DJs. Weekends usually great until 12 or so, when the kiddies come for the 18 and over dance club. Good time to take your 'new friend' you met there to Waikiki.
Sansei Great sushi/japanese food. Turns into an upscale hip-hop club certain weeknights. Great DJ's. Hot women. Defintely feels like you are in a Jay-Z video. zab's pick? Sake Bombs til ya can't feel your feet.
Ocean Club a few doors down from Sansei. Big weeknight dance club draw, tough scene if you aren't local. Once you move there, you'll understand. Still, fun for a drink or 4.
Pipeline Bad rep as a 'locals only' bar. I went quite a bit (Tues was the best night circa spring 2004) and always had a blast. Lotta women, young and not so young. Good upstairs lounge.
Waikiki...where to begin...
"The W" at Diamondhead. Hawaii's only true attempt at and exclusive 'NYC' style club. Restaurant Sunday-Thurs. Fridays/Sat after 8 or so becomes a club with a lounge area, techno/trance room, and hip-hop room. "The place to see and be seen". Be ready for A LOT of attitude, and a lot of girls in "little backpacks" and tight pants. An amusing experience, I don't recommend more than 2-3 times a year. Either bring some women with you or actually BE a woman, helps you get in. My advice is to get a dinner reservation around 6/6:30 with your friends, eat dinner (EXCELLENT food), then set up shop at your table, get table service for drinks (overpriced bottles of high end vodka or whatever, with mixers), very pricey, but with 4-6 people affordable.
Arnold's: The exact opposite of the W. Serious dive bar. Good for post night-flight booze-ex'es on weeknights. Always random crowd of locals, tourists, commerical flight crews, etc etc etc. I once saw the lead singer of Quiet Riot there....
Nashville Waikiki: Hawaii's only country western bar. Now I HATE country BS, but I love me some Nashville. Usually a fair amount of women, fun crowd, low hostility factor. Laugh your a$$ off at douchebags in tight jeans and queer cowboy outfits IN HAWAII. Fun staff. Very military friendly, I went in after a dining out in mess dress twice and got hammered on the house. Fairly tolerant of vomiting all over the bathroom...
Da Dawg House: College bar in International Marketplace. Good times. I recommend the "Golden Eagle Special"; a 16 oz can of Shlitz and a double shot of Jaeger. PACKED with college girls and touristas on the weekends. Also a good hide-out on weekdays to escape the crowds. Decent DJ.
Spinner's: Hard to find karaoke bar near Nashville. Smells like a grease trap at a Denny's. Suprisingly high amount of women. Cheap beer, and who doesn't love karaoke? Excellent 4am sh!t face drunk on the bar spot.
Wave Waikiki Usually Sun-Thurs very similar to Squids n Kids night at Seville. Lotta 18 and up types, too much THUMP THUMP THUMP techno crap. Friday and Sat, usually a good live band, 21 and up crowd, chicks chicks chicks. Cheap drinks (after a reasonable cover). You will ALWAYS run into random people you know. Two thumbs up.
The Red Lion Monday "Dollah Ballah Mondays Brah" One dollar 'pitchers', actually 20 oz mini pitchers of some random brew that turns out to be a laxative the next day. Seriously, Mondays are a big big college night, with a good DJ. Other nights, it can be a blast or can suck huge. Worth sticking your head in to see.
The Irish Rose Only 'bubble hockey' table circa 1985 with the US Olympic Team vs USSR in Hawaii. Always live music, some nights better than others. Great trap for those on the prowl for unsuspecting sunburned turistas. One bar I would always be willing to check out. The hotel above is also a standard spot for flight attendants to stay at. Do the math...
Moose McGillicuddy's I'm sure I spelled that worng and I don't care. Moose's SUCKS. The ONLY thing it is good for is to watch unsuspecting 18 yr olds hit on male transvestites. That gets old after 5 minutes. Too many people, the staff has to be a bunch of d!cks to control them all. Stay away. Not worth the line. Excellent 'death-dog' hot dog cart out front for late night snacks.
Kelly Oneil's Claims to be Hawaii's only authentic Irish pub. Wrong, that's Murphy's. BUT, it is a fun time. Physically looks like any bad O-Club in the world (generic banquet chairs and tables, Mega-touch screens, Golden Tee, "Smirnoff Ice" propaganda everywhere). Hard to get a drink without a waitress, but if you snag a table, you're golden. High amount of women.
Mai Tai Bar There are two, one on top of the Ala Moana Mall. Not bad, decent time on a weeknight, but I never had any 'luck' there, maybe I'm biased.
The OTHER one is on Waikiki Beach, inside the Royal Sheraton Hotel (aka 'the Pink Lady'). GREAT view. Good spot to take relatives for sunsets and Mai-Tais. They also make a mean "drink in a pineapple" which can be easily smashed on NFO's heads. Semi-quiet and unknown, it's a nice little spot to meet a date for drinks or take "your new friend" from a crowded loud bar to, in order to 'get acquainted'.
On a side note, CLEANEST PUBLIC BATHROOMS IN WAIKIKI. If you are on day 9 of a bender (my record for Hawaii is 14 days straight going out every night), and you got "the bubble guts" and need to drop a deuce, the Royal Sheraton is the place to do it. Marble everywhere, high pressure air-conditioning, good cell reception to call your 2P while you do your thang. Plus, the Mai Tai Bar is 15 feet away! Heaven truly is a place on Earth.
and the Holiest of Holies...
DUKES
Some people say it's too commercial, too touristy, too cheesy, too crowded, too pricey.
Fvck that! Get over your bitterness.
Look, any night of the week you go, there's women. All the tourists go. They love it. It's right on the beach and the view is incredible. The bathrooms are filthy, I can't figure it out(Mai Tai bar is 1 half block away). Regardless, it's the money. Sundays, there is NOWHERE else to be. get there at 2 or 3, stake out a spot on the lower patio, ogle what you see, get drunk. At 6 or so, pounce on a server when they start setting up tables (helps to have a gang of 7-10 to box out the old fat guy tourists who want to sit down). Snag a big table with a ton of chairs and let nature take its course. I spent many many hungover mondays at the squadron thanks to some great Sundays at Duke's.
I know I missed a few (Magoo's, Bedrock's, Pigpen's...I mean Pigskins...), but this is a good starting point.
bch YOU B@STARD! I am sincerely jealous. Don't go and screw it up by bringing a chick out there with you.
I had an absolute BLAST in Hawaii. Anyone who gets orders there should consider themsleves lucky.
Now I gotta convince the squadron I'm in now to go to RIMPAC 2005 this summer...
