Married Pilots, need some advice...

[FlybyWired06]

Hey all,

I'm looking to learn more about the different communities within the Naval Aviation community itself based upon specific airframes such as the F-18 community or the P-3 community (just examples) and how they affect married/family life, i.e. deployment regularity, long/strange hours, usual deployment length, etc.

I'm currently an SNA in Atlanta picking up my Master's at Georgia Tech then heading to Pensacola. When I first started at USNA, I was all about flying jets, but with a mindset that I'd be happy flying anything the Navy has to offer. However, I took "the plunge" after graduation and married my girlfriend. Married life has been great, but now I find myself very concerned with how the aircraft I end up in will affect my wife's life (and kids' if they come along...).

I know that, with any aircraft, I'll have long and irregular hours at times, both in the air and on the ground, and deploying is pretty much a given, but are their any big differences between being, for example, an F-18 pilot as compared to a P-3 pilot, or a helo pilot as compared to a C-2 pilot and how often you're home? Please help me out here if you can. I'd love to hear any advice or anecdotes you have based on your experiences in a certain aircraft that might shed some light on this subject. Assuming I survive Primary, this will help me decide what to put as my FIRST choice, SECOND choice, etc. Ofcourse, if the differences aren't that great, then I'll just go ahead and base it all solely on what I think I'd be happy flying...Thanks for reading and replying.

 

[MasterBates]

Fly what you want to fly.

50% chance what she wants will be irrelevant before the end of your 1st sea tour.

And doing something you would rather not do, "for her" will just add strain and push you into the 50% you don't want to be in.

 

[FlybyWired06]

... And doing something you would rather not do, "for her" will just add strain and push you into the 50% you don't want to be in.

True...in fact, that's what my wife has said. She'd rather have me happy and home less than stressed/bored and home more...but I'd still like to hear if there truly are any differences amongst the different airframe communities...

 

[HAL Pilot]

Just when we need him most, Brett's on the way to Japan.......

 

[Nose]

Dude,

Did you join the Navy to be a pilot/warrior, or did you join to be a husband? If it is the latter, you screwed the pooch. In your first tour, it's all about serving the big Navy. If you want a tour where you are home every night and hanging with Mrs. Fly, then call the Air Force and see what they can offer. Sea Duty is Sea Duty,

I'm not saying don't be a good husband, what I'm saying is if you want to be home every night, you are in the wrong business.

Nose

PS I'm sorry if I sound like a D1ck. I love the fact that you are all about you wife. Don't loose that. Cherish her. In some weird ways, being gone makes you appreciate each other more.

 

[Beans]

True...in fact, that's what my wife has said. She'd rather have me happy and home less than stressed/bored and home more...but I'd still like to hear if there truly are any differences amongst the different airframe communities...

Dude, forget it. That's gold she's givin' ya. Run w/ it and kick ass. You're lucky to have a girl that supports you like that. My gf does, too - but only until my service agreement is up. Seeing as that's 10 years from now, I'm not sweating it quite yet.

 

[snake020]

Ask for C-17s or C-5s.

 

[m3urthy]

Ask for C-17s or C-5s.

:icon_lol::icon_lol:

 

[phrogpilot73]

Look at it this way - While away from the Mrs. for months at a time, do you want to live in a hotel, or a stateroom? That's your answer... Everyone deploys, the only difference is if you're shipboard or not.

With regards to the poll - someone forgot to include E-6's... THAT would have been my choice for the one that's home the most!! :icon_lol:

 

[MrSaturn]

With regards to the poll - someone forgot to include E-6's... THAT would have been my choice for the one that's home the most!! :icon_lol:

 

[Fred]

I agree with fly what you want to fly. I would much rather my husband be doing what makes him happy at work, than doing something he would rather not do, just to be home more. If he’s happy with his professional life our home life is much better, and vice versa. If you have a strong marriage, it will remain strong whether you are home every night, or deployed 10mo of the year. There have been tours where my husband was gone 30 out of 36mo. For his current tour he’s been home pretty much everyday (sans a week or two for meetings, training, etc.), since Oct 2005. He’s a Hornet pilot, we’ve been married over 19 years, have four kids, and he is still enjoying the heck out of his career 22 years later. As am I. I wouldn't trade the experiences we’ve had for a job that allowed him to be home every night for anything. Good luck in flight school.

 

[Nose]

Figures a hornet guy would have a "spouse" named Fred...:icon_tong

 

[A4sForever]

....... my wife has said ..... She'd rather have me happy and home less than stressed/bored and home more.......

That's beautiful, man ... my former next door neighbor got the same warm fuzzies from his wife -- then she divorced him and ran off with the guy across the street ....

Put in for what you want. Fly what you get -- and do the best damn job you know how to do ..... It's the U.S. Navy, son ....

 

[robav8r]

With regards to the poll - someone forgot to include E-6's... THAT would have been my choice for the one that's home the most!! :icon_lol:

Very true phrog, very true !!!

 

[Nose]

Kid in my AOCS class showed up with the "I want to fly jets" mantra going. Practically all he said. Aced everything he did (except peer eval, but that is another story). 100% on every test in academics, PT ribbon, good inspections, etc. He finished number 3 in our AOCS class (would have been number 1, but for the 20 peer spears in his back), Commodore's list w/distinction.

Come selection time, his girlfriend (fiancee maybe, can't remember) told him that she wanted him to go P-3's so he would not have to deploy. He did it, got P-3's and about 4 months later, she dumped him.

If you "settle" for something other than what you want/deserve as far as communities go, you will regret it, she will regret it and it will be like sand in your shorts. Follow everyone's advice here, kick ass in everything you do, fly what you get, and you can STILL be a good husband and father.

Nose