Blame my parents for naming me after my grandma Fredricka. :icon_smil
Figures an E2 guy would make fun of a spouse's name. :boring_12
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Married Pilots, need some advice...
- Thread starter FlybyWired06
- Start date
Blame my parents for naming me after my grandma Fredricka. :icon_smil
Figures an E2 guy would make fun of a spouse's name. :boring_12
FlybyWired06
New Member
Thanks...
Well, it looks like everyone has the same sentiment...fly what you want (or ASK for what you want and fly what you GET...haha). With regards to those wondering if I signed on to be an Officer or a Husband, it's impossible to be definitive...Ofcourse, my mission in life (atleast for the next 10 years or so) is to be the best damned officer and pilot I can be, but I believe life is about balance and there's no way to be a good officer without being a good husband...sure, I could put all of my time and energy into our "beloved" Navy and leave my married life completely out of the equation, but it's all to often we hear about marriages falling apart for the very same reason! I don't believe it's JUST about being the best officer you can be, it's about being the best PERSON you can be and having a great/crappy marriage can affect that directly, thus affecting you as an officer as well. Granted, I'll never let my wife tell me to "pick P-3s" (as one poor sucker had his girlfriend do and then got dumped...), but I'll always consider her needs in everything I do because, in the end, the Navy is only temporary (yeah, maybe 10 years and maybe 35 or 40 years, but still temporary), but your marriage is FOREVER...
So, anyway, after that long shpeel, I'm going to go see how primary turns out and then just pick whatever the hell I WANT TO FLY! haha...thanks for all the posts...Fred, I especially liked hearing your point of view as the Wife of a pilot, albeit a wife named "FRED"...haha
Well, it looks like everyone has the same sentiment...fly what you want (or ASK for what you want and fly what you GET...haha). With regards to those wondering if I signed on to be an Officer or a Husband, it's impossible to be definitive...Ofcourse, my mission in life (atleast for the next 10 years or so) is to be the best damned officer and pilot I can be, but I believe life is about balance and there's no way to be a good officer without being a good husband...sure, I could put all of my time and energy into our "beloved" Navy and leave my married life completely out of the equation, but it's all to often we hear about marriages falling apart for the very same reason! I don't believe it's JUST about being the best officer you can be, it's about being the best PERSON you can be and having a great/crappy marriage can affect that directly, thus affecting you as an officer as well. Granted, I'll never let my wife tell me to "pick P-3s" (as one poor sucker had his girlfriend do and then got dumped...), but I'll always consider her needs in everything I do because, in the end, the Navy is only temporary (yeah, maybe 10 years and maybe 35 or 40 years, but still temporary), but your marriage is FOREVER...
So, anyway, after that long shpeel, I'm going to go see how primary turns out and then just pick whatever the hell I WANT TO FLY! haha...thanks for all the posts...Fred, I especially liked hearing your point of view as the Wife of a pilot, albeit a wife named "FRED"...haha
Just keep in mind, even though you may consider her needs in everything you do, there will be times you simply can’t do what she needs/wants because it’s the polar opposite of what the Navy needs/demands. Neither of us wanted him to miss the birth of our daughter, not be able to come home when my dad died or when our son was in pediatric ICU, leave me, four kids, and two dogs “stranded” in the path of a super typhoon, but he had to. There will be many, many times the needs of the Navy will supersede the needs of your wife.
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
flybywhipped06 said:
BULLSHIT.
There are MANY fine officers that are single or divorced. And I know many who would be described as a "perfect husband" by their wifes that are less than perfect officers.
Not to mention the guys who make good officers, but just are not cut out for nor desire married life. (Brett327 comes to mind)
A bit of a spin off, but along this vein, how many officers of Flag rank are single, and how many single 06’s get major command? My husband’s best friend is single, always has been, and probably always will be. He’s said many, many times; he will never be eligible for major command because he’s not married. His fitreps, performance as squadron CO, technical degree, etc., don’t matter as much as the fact he doesn’t have a ring on his left hand. During our last discussion on this subject he asked me to name one 06 holding a major command who was not married. I came up with one, and even he was married when he screened for nuke power.
(I realize this is in the distance future for most on here)
FlybyWired06
New Member
I totally agree, Fred...Navy never equals always there when you're needed by your family...
FlybyWired06
New Member
Thanks for the candid reply...the funny thing is I agree with you too...there are alot of great officers who are single or divorced AND there are alot of great husbands who are not so great officers...all I'm saying is if you want both to work, you HAVE to balance them and if you can gain that kind of balance between professional and personal life it will benefit you greatly in both! Those single or divorced officers either don't want that kind of balance or couldn't acheive it and the same goes for those "perfect husbands" who are "less than perfect officers." Keep the thoughts coming...
Interesting that you brought this up. A couple years ago I had a similiar discussion with a squadron buddy whose father was a four star. At the time we could only think of 1 Admiral who was not married. I am not sure where it is at right now, but I would bet that it is easily less than 10%.
AGREE completely with you -- fact is; that's ONE of the reasons I got "out" -- at least off active duty -- as my former hippie, born-again, daughter of Satan wife was never going to be an asset to any Naval Officer's career -- she even stated so quite clearly on more than one occasion ....
Had I been married to my present wife during those days, however, i.e., "the hostess with the mostest" ... I would have been up for CNO just on HER attributes alone as a living, breathing example of the "perfect" Officers' wife -- even if I went out and held up the local 7-11 ....
Come on, we all know Brett is just waiting to get stationed in Massachusetts before he can legally get married!:icon_wink
goldielocks
Member
Worth Noting...VP spouse perspective
Jacking thread briefly...
I would like to dispel these 'rumors' going around to the students (for 5 years AT LEAST now it seems) about the VP (P-3) community and how you are supposedly "home a lot more". It just isn't true these days. The airplane is old...they are trying to extend the life as much as possible through limiting ect. It breaks down A LOT...and while you have 18 mo home cycles...the home cycle isn't a walk in the park. Most of DH's 12-14 hour days were spent waiting for the airplane to come out of maint. and then doing FCF's only for the plane to break and the cycle to continue. In addition your always studying for something...2P, PPC, IP...NATOPS ect.
Bottom Line: On home cycle DH was at the squadron at the very least 10 hrs and at the very worse 14-16 hrs a day. He had one weekend off a month...on the rarest of occasions he had two. Granted your not on the boat and get to stay in some fabulous hotels on deployment...that is about all the good things I can say...and if I never ever hear the phrase "preflight the ready" ever again...it'll be too soon!
But I (as a spouse) sucked it up and kept busy like everyone else...I don't think there is much difference between aviation communities (Navy anyway) when it comes to time at home (based on what I've heard). We all have a limited amount of time on this earth to find happiness...do what you've always wanted to do...support your spouse in what she wants to do...you'll both be happy in the end.
*****P.S. I'm not knocking the community or anything...some...well a couple of people actually return for Dept. Head tours.
Back to the thread....
Jacking thread briefly...
I would like to dispel these 'rumors' going around to the students (for 5 years AT LEAST now it seems) about the VP (P-3) community and how you are supposedly "home a lot more". It just isn't true these days. The airplane is old...they are trying to extend the life as much as possible through limiting ect. It breaks down A LOT...and while you have 18 mo home cycles...the home cycle isn't a walk in the park. Most of DH's 12-14 hour days were spent waiting for the airplane to come out of maint. and then doing FCF's only for the plane to break and the cycle to continue. In addition your always studying for something...2P, PPC, IP...NATOPS ect.
Bottom Line: On home cycle DH was at the squadron at the very least 10 hrs and at the very worse 14-16 hrs a day. He had one weekend off a month...on the rarest of occasions he had two. Granted your not on the boat and get to stay in some fabulous hotels on deployment...that is about all the good things I can say...and if I never ever hear the phrase "preflight the ready" ever again...it'll be too soon!
But I (as a spouse) sucked it up and kept busy like everyone else...I don't think there is much difference between aviation communities (Navy anyway) when it comes to time at home (based on what I've heard). We all have a limited amount of time on this earth to find happiness...do what you've always wanted to do...support your spouse in what she wants to do...you'll both be happy in the end.
*****P.S. I'm not knocking the community or anything...some...well a couple of people actually return for Dept. Head tours.
Back to the thread....