Ya, now imagine having this said on your PPL checkride.... :watching3
Hey, I was SAFE, I just sucked. Got my PPL that day.
lol...glad I'm not the only one. Granted it was with an SR-71 RSO
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Memorable IFS moments & quotes
- Thread starter SixBeersIn
- Start date
lol...glad I'm not the only one. Granted it was with an SR-71 RSO
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
All of those noticing rudder comments-
Keeping the mother f'in ball in the cage will pay HUGE dividends in the T-34 (and it has rudder trim, so you can trim it out steady state) and make your life suck much less.
And if you go on to fly the 5 rudder'd wunderpigs that are the E-2 and C-2, it will REALLY come into play. (it's also useful in helos but it's a different zen)
Keeping the mother f'in ball in the cage will pay HUGE dividends in the T-34 (and it has rudder trim, so you can trim it out steady state) and make your life suck much less.
And if you go on to fly the 5 rudder'd wunderpigs that are the E-2 and C-2, it will REALLY come into play. (it's also useful in helos but it's a different zen)
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
Fam 3/4 in the T-34 back in 2002.. LT Nikel in the back, somewhere over area 6 in Corpus.
THWAP THWAP THWAP! (PCL whacking something in the back)
ENS Master: Sir, is that a compressor stall?
LT Nikel: NO YOU JACKASS! That's the ball knocking! It wants you TO LET IT BACK IN THE FUCKING PLANE!
This was also one of my less than stellar flights, which had the comment:
Course Rules [2]- Monkey with Football
THWAP THWAP THWAP! (PCL whacking something in the back)
ENS Master: Sir, is that a compressor stall?
LT Nikel: NO YOU JACKASS! That's the ball knocking! It wants you TO LET IT BACK IN THE FUCKING PLANE!
This was also one of my less than stellar flights, which had the comment:
Course Rules [2]- Monkey with Football
(off of IFS) while i was in advanced we were doing RIs or BIs in the good ole TH-57, and while i was under the hood the radio came on asking if we knew where the T-34 practice areas were. My instructor called out "i'm not familiar with that area" and the classic response was "if you keep going the way you're going you sure will be!"
Five out of six of my buddies who flew there failed a stage check.
On my checkride I ended up head-to-head with a flight of two T-34's in the vicinity of Florala. I saw them at the last second, passing about 200' overhead.
FAA Examiner: "You saw that traffic, right?"
Me: "Yes sir." (Hell no!)
Would that be Jeremy Nikel? I know Jeremy well, until recently that is. We went to API together in 93.
On my first cross country, I totally fucked up my wind corrections by using an outdated forecast. We got lost almost immediately on our way from Bay Minette up to Waynesboro. Oddly, we approached an airport that looked like Waynesboro based on how it looked on the sectional from about 15 miles away. I knew that Waynesboro is a small, one runway airport. As we got closer to "Waynesboro," I looked down and saw not only three runways, but a whole squadron of KC-135 tankers. I look at my instructor and say: "I........don't think this is Waynesboro." The instructor was like: "No.....Fucking.......Shit. Now turn us the hell around and lets get out of here." I found out later that we had missed Waynesboro by God knows how many miles and flown to the Hesler-Noble airport in Laurel, MS.
Our OBS had been acting squirrelly up the whole flight, and we were so far from Mobile that couldn't get any clear communications from Approach. We flew all over God knows where, the instructor cursing my guts out, and it wasn't until we somehow flew over Jackson and the Alabama river that I knew where we were.
That flight was extraordinarily embarassing and I hated that instructor for letting me get lost, but looking back I learned so much from him and respect the hell out of him. When I flew the same route again for my solo, I hit every checkpoint on time, did touch and goes at Waynesboro and Wilcox (Chatom, AL) on time, and made it back to Bay Minette right on time. I never would have done so well on the solo had I not fucked it up so majorly the first time.
Our OBS had been acting squirrelly up the whole flight, and we were so far from Mobile that couldn't get any clear communications from Approach. We flew all over God knows where, the instructor cursing my guts out, and it wasn't until we somehow flew over Jackson and the Alabama river that I knew where we were.
That flight was extraordinarily embarassing and I hated that instructor for letting me get lost, but looking back I learned so much from him and respect the hell out of him. When I flew the same route again for my solo, I hit every checkpoint on time, did touch and goes at Waynesboro and Wilcox (Chatom, AL) on time, and made it back to Bay Minette right on time. I never would have done so well on the solo had I not fucked it up so majorly the first time.
MasterBates
Well-Known Member
Yep.
Strangely enough, he was a 2P with my first OIC on their nugget cruise in HSL-42 (where I ended up as well). That whole small Navy thing again.
While not an IFS story, this reminds me of a flight where even the most mild-mannered guy can get pissed when the ball is not centered.
On a "good deal" flight in my west coast LAMPS MK I squadron, we were a two-ship section flying a cross-county to Fort Ord/Monterey CA. (this actually turned into a weekend from Hell, but I digress) The aircraft I am assigned is piloted by a DH that just made 0-5 (who had flown H-2's in Viet Nam) and a PQM (maybe he was H2P) that hadn't even made a deployment yet. We are in the groove flying up the coast when the CDR gives the new guy the controls, leans his head back, and starts to catch 40 winks. Slowy the ball starts creeping out and letting in some slipstream (we were flying with the doors open). This knocks the CDR's head over and wakes him up. A terse "ball" comes over the ICS, the new guy corrects, and the CDR goes back to sleep. Maybe 5 minutes goes by and the whole thing repeats. This CDR was deeply respected by EVERYONE, Pilots and Aircrewmen alike. He was the best H-2 pilot I ever had the pleasure to fly with. He was unflappable. Nothing ever riled him up. The H-2 could never surprise him. On the fourth iteration of the aircraft coming out of trim and waking him up, there was no terse "ball" as in times past. This time when it woke him up it was "I SAID 'BALL' GOD DAMMIT!!". This caused the other crewman and I to exchange surprised "did you hear what I just heard" glances.
When we finally got back to the squadron and told the rest of the Aircrew shop the story, nobody believed us when we told them that our favorite CDR had lost it because the other pilot couldn't keep the ball centered.
The first half of my IFS flights were pretty non-eventful. Unfortunately I drew the Paul "Ensign Eliminator" Boudreaux for my first stage check - The day before he failed an Ensign. He walks in and I stand up, he asks my name and then proceeds to say, "I'm sure you've heard of my reputation?" I replied, "Yes, I have. Fortunately your 'charm' will have no effect on me - I'm not in the Navy, I'm a Second Lieutenant." I went on to pass that flight, but not without busting my emergency landing procedure. Apparently I came in too steep - I like to think I'd have made it ok though. I'd rather have too much alt. than not enough any day!
After that flight I found I'd have from that point on no other than the famous/infamous, you choose, Rocky as a primary instructor. There were a few memorable occasions/quotes.
I do distinctly recall flying 295SP at full power, nose high, with the needle hovering under 40 KIAS for about 30 seconds. That was fun.
Another time, as I'm coming in on final, probably 300-400' AGL I hear "Wake up your goddamn feet! C'mon... Right *ucking rudder!!!" I apparently could not, or did not wake them, because the yoke and rudders suddenly started shaking violently. Slightly alarmed, I looked to my right and my instructor was pushing/pulling, and turning the yoke while stomping back and forth on the rudder. A few seconds later I was in control once again and from then on tried my damnedest to ensure my feet were always awake.
While in the pattern on another occasion, I was practicing X-wind landings. They were coming along fairly well, but apparently I was a bit timid in my control of the A/C. Fed up with this, my instructor turned to me and flatly stated, "Don't be a pussy, fly this plane!"
On my last flight, a XC to Biloxi and back to Mobile I had just completed my turn to base and was performing GUMPS one last time when I heard tower come over the radio stating "295SP, hold fast for a couple of fast movers." At that same instance two adversary F-5s broke in front of me and landed. Pretty sweet for a last IFS flight.
And to the guy who sounded nervous about getting sent to Mobile because the instructors are "rough," wouldn't you rather have instructors who put you under some stress now and made you perform? You think they're going to be easier at Whiting/Corpus/Vance?
And I'd recommend Rocky to anyone if you're lucky enough to get him, despite what you've heard. I'm not one to kiss ass, but I definitely think my 25 hours were better spent when he was in the cockpit... Even if those hours were less than fun, at times.
After that flight I found I'd have from that point on no other than the famous/infamous, you choose, Rocky as a primary instructor. There were a few memorable occasions/quotes.
I do distinctly recall flying 295SP at full power, nose high, with the needle hovering under 40 KIAS for about 30 seconds. That was fun.
Another time, as I'm coming in on final, probably 300-400' AGL I hear "Wake up your goddamn feet! C'mon... Right *ucking rudder!!!" I apparently could not, or did not wake them, because the yoke and rudders suddenly started shaking violently. Slightly alarmed, I looked to my right and my instructor was pushing/pulling, and turning the yoke while stomping back and forth on the rudder. A few seconds later I was in control once again and from then on tried my damnedest to ensure my feet were always awake.
While in the pattern on another occasion, I was practicing X-wind landings. They were coming along fairly well, but apparently I was a bit timid in my control of the A/C. Fed up with this, my instructor turned to me and flatly stated, "Don't be a pussy, fly this plane!"
On my last flight, a XC to Biloxi and back to Mobile I had just completed my turn to base and was performing GUMPS one last time when I heard tower come over the radio stating "295SP, hold fast for a couple of fast movers." At that same instance two adversary F-5s broke in front of me and landed. Pretty sweet for a last IFS flight.
And to the guy who sounded nervous about getting sent to Mobile because the instructors are "rough," wouldn't you rather have instructors who put you under some stress now and made you perform? You think they're going to be easier at Whiting/Corpus/Vance?
And I'd recommend Rocky to anyone if you're lucky enough to get him, despite what you've heard. I'm not one to kiss ass, but I definitely think my 25 hours were better spent when he was in the cockpit... Even if those hours were less than fun, at times.
FlyinRock
Registered User
*********************************8
Hmmmm ..... could it be they didn't study the way they were supposed to?
I've worked in IFS for nearly 5 years now and have done quite a few of the phase checks in addition to basic instruction. Those who fail phase checks generally do so either because they didn't take it seriously and failed to study or apply themselves, or they weren't cut out for aviation. 10-15% are not going to make it through and that is an average across the full spectrum of schools doing IFS - not just Mobile. It is a screening process as well as teaching the very basisc of flying skills.
FTM at Mobile is doing a good job of adhering to the syllabus and curriculum standards as contracted for with the Navy. The instructor staff is motivated, do a good job, work together and have regular scheduled meetings to discuss problem areas and/or students.
The program is not difficult but is intensive in the time allotted. Its a pain in the ass to make a one hour drive but nearly all the schools locally are that distance away from Pensacola. That has been a complaint by and from students since day one and nothing we can do about it. Our goal is to both train and screen students, not to fail them. Students do that all by themselves. Management, at least at Mobile, is very aware of how a failure can impact a young officers career and we do not take it lightly. We have a lot of military experience running the show at FTM. Students who are weak in any given area get ample opportunity to remedy the problem. How well they do is up to them.
I see too high a percentage of students who come in with a high school attitude of "hey here I am. Lets get me through this so I can go have fun." How high a percentage? 10% is too high for me.
Speaking strictly for myself, if I get a student who comes in with a positive attitude and applies themselves with the motivation required to start in a new profession, I'll bend over backwards, above and beyond the requirements, get them thru any tough spots to completion. OTOH, come in with anything less than 100% effort and I'm gonna grade you exactly by the book and standards with no extra "off the books" instruction, advice, or help. You'll get out of it what you put in. I see it as your regular job of 8 hours a day so don't come in expecting that an hour of study will suffice and the rest of the day spent at the beach, or ???
No magic gouge or formula. Thousands have gone thru the program and it isn't that hard if you apply yourself. Kind of sounds like real life don't it?!
Semper Fi
Rocky - aka Ol Shy & Bashful
It sounds awful, but most ensigns can pick those high schoolers out in the A-pool a mile away, at least the ones who didn't wash out of IFS. A slight adjustment of that statement would go a little something like this, maybe?
"Hey, here I am. Let's get me waist-deep in this, because it's fun and also my career."
Was IFS supposed to suck or something? Cause if it was, then I had WAY too much fun.
H20man
Drill baby drill!
At least IFS isn't set up like the AF IFS, but that is why we are in the Navy and not the AF.
My roomate who went to AF IFS: Run like their UPT: Live in giant warehouse in middle of nowhere Colorado plus institutional food to go with it, have to stay in study spaces for 12 hours, random stand up quizzing during the day, yada yada yada.
I'll take my one hour drive and self study periods.
Really anyone who fails a check ride did something really stupid that day, like my buddy who put the flaps down above flap speed, or just sucks at life. IFS is a lot of show and tell, I think the most effort I put into IFS was during the cross country flights. If you can't make it through IFS then there is something really really wrong with you.
As I like to say: The Navy hands you the rope and says "Make something out of this, or hang yourself with it."
My roomate who went to AF IFS: Run like their UPT: Live in giant warehouse in middle of nowhere Colorado plus institutional food to go with it, have to stay in study spaces for 12 hours, random stand up quizzing during the day, yada yada yada.
I'll take my one hour drive and self study periods.
Really anyone who fails a check ride did something really stupid that day, like my buddy who put the flaps down above flap speed, or just sucks at life. IFS is a lot of show and tell, I think the most effort I put into IFS was during the cross country flights. If you can't make it through IFS then there is something really really wrong with you.
As I like to say: The Navy hands you the rope and says "Make something out of this, or hang yourself with it."
To all who are sweating IFS:
What Rocky said will hold true at all the flight schools.
On my first couple flights, I was nervous knowing that this was a screening and could get the boot. So my partner and I did things like chair-fly on the ride over and review when we were waiting for the weather to break or eating breakfast after muster. If we blew a landing but knew when to pull the power and add flaps, then Mr. Kiger (our instructor) would give us a hard time, but also a chance to try again.
If you want to pass IFS, just give it your best and you will get through....simple as that. Nerves are good when you're prepared: they make you focus. As you progress, you will relax, improve and begin to build confidence. I'm guessing this is the best way to approach API, Primary and Advanced as well.
Good luck and have fun up there. After all, we're getting paid to fly.