Motivational Statement

[badger16]

well said Rocky, well said.

 

[thenuge]

+1 to that. I wrote my statement and let it sit for a week. Then, I looked at it again, and made some changes. Right before turning it in, I spent a night going through it for grammar issues. I managed to get picked up, so I guess I can't be a complete idiot. The thought of posting it on here never crossed my mind. To borrow from the Army WOFT Application:

It's called having your shipmates back.

But since your citing Army instruction I don't know. What does that have to do with us? It's being a good shipmate, man. This aggression towards motivational statements will not stand, man...

 

[scoober78]

Not many college students can deliver a professionally acceptable statement on the first try. I know I couldn't.

Please don't take this as a personal attack...because it isn't but...if a college educated person cannot compose a clear and coherent statement about why they want to be a Naval Officer then there is a problem. I think part of it may be that you are looking for the "textbook" answer. This is not (from what I understand) what the boards are looking for. They want a clear and grammatically correct statement why YOU want to be a Naval Officer. This isn't rocket science. My position on this is clear and I won't repeat it.

On to the real issue...how do we deal with this here...

No one is forcing you to read these posts.

I am going to suggest a new forum for this type of stuff though, for future use.

I already said that nobody was forcing me to read these...my objection is the moral one. I feel like it is a different thing than studying for an exam together...However, until the instruction is clarified somehow, your compromise is an excellent idea.

 

[zab1001]

If it stays along the lines of "you're not answering the question they're asking", "it's way too long", or "you mean to use they're instead of their", I see no problem with it.

Bottom line, we're agreeing to disagree. John will make the call.

 

[greysword]

I would like to add a couple items to the fray.

The notion that this is not the right forum for this kind of request is misguided, I think. The title of this exact forum that the post is on is:

Questions about becoming a Navy Officer

Do you have a question about becoming an Officer in the U.S. Navy? Well, post it here, and the rest of us will do our best in sharing our own experiences.

This post seems to qualify under this description. I would also like to submit that most of us who responded to this did so from the main page instead of digging into the forum itself. Please correct me if I am inacurate on these points.

As for getting help for the statement, I think others have provided it. The statement may be well done as is, but several of our number think it needs to be more personalized with specifics about why and what can be brought to the Navy. I would go with this and repost for further review.

I vote to allow posts on Airwarriors for a couple of reasons. One, it helps to see what packages are accepted by the board and which are not through the motivational statement.

Another reason is to help those who have great ideas but not so good writing skills express the concepts they want to convey. I know several scientists and engineers that have a hard time writing in a structurally sound way, but can calculate derivatives in their head. Of course, this is where an English major can shine.

Those are my thoughts. Thank you for listening, and have a nice day! :tongue2_1

 

[greysword]

...that the post is on is:

Wow, I would have failed right there

 

[skim]

As a child, I recall first seeing US Navy ships while vacationing with my grandparents in San Diego. I was, and I remain, in awe of the size and presence of naval ships. As an adult, naval ships have come to represent much more to me—so much so, in fact, that I now aspire to become a naval officer.

Re-do or restructure this intro. Many write how they want to join to fly planes and get told "Officer first, Pilot second",and this intro sounds like you want to join to drive ships when a career with Carnival Cruise lines can get you that.

 

[BackOrdered]

*Edit: wrong topic *

 

[corvettetimmy]

Another reason is to help those who have great ideas but not so good writing skills express the concepts they want to convey. I know several scientists and engineers that have a hard time writing in a structurally sound way, but can calculate derivatives in their head.

Stephen Hawking

 

[fc2spyguy]

*Edit: wrong topic *

Too late now, you've already brought this one back from the dead.