Band_Geek_2012
New Member
Hello,
My name is rachel and i am starting my NROTC essay.. would anyone wish to help me with what i have so far?
now i understand its not in the standard 5 paragraph essay form but im fixing it. i just wanted to know what you think of what i have so far.
feedback is very much appreciated!
Several reasons come to mind when I’m asked why I wish to become a Naval Officer. I wish to serve my country, to become a better person, and also to travel the world.
My first reason is to serve my country. I would not only be serving America, but my family and friends as well. After college I will be ready to join the elite force that is the United States Navy, and in doing so I can protect all of the things I love and cherish, but I wouldn’t be alone. I would be serving with the men and women who are all likeminded and have the same goals as I. I currently have two step brothers pursuing careers in the Navy and I want to be able to stand beside them and serve our country as well. What we have in America did not come to us easily, our ancestors had to pay the price of blood in order to gain our freedom and liberties, and until now I’ve taken all of it for granted. Now I fully understand what it took in order to obtain the freedom we have today and I’m ready to accept the responsibilities that come with being a member of the United States Navy. I wish to be a part of the people who make sure the people of America keep the same freedoms and liberties that I am blessed to have now.
Another reason is through the Navy ROTC I can further the process in becoming the best person I can be. I understand that the journey will not be easy, and the process will not be fun, but I am ready to challenge myself in order to do so. I believe that by becoming an Officer in the United States Navy I will obtain the knowledge, physical training, and discipline that will help me succeed in the world today. Only the best of the best become naval officers, I am willing to accept the challenge that is the process of becoming an officer with a positive attitude and a respectable work ethic, in order to obtain my goal. By achieving my goal I will become smarter, stronger, and an all around better person that someone will be able to look up to. These traits are what employers are looking for in an employee and will help me succeed in the job market above others.
My name is rachel and i am starting my NROTC essay.. would anyone wish to help me with what i have so far?
now i understand its not in the standard 5 paragraph essay form but im fixing it. i just wanted to know what you think of what i have so far.
feedback is very much appreciated!
Several reasons come to mind when I’m asked why I wish to become a Naval Officer. I wish to serve my country, to become a better person, and also to travel the world.
My first reason is to serve my country. I would not only be serving America, but my family and friends as well. After college I will be ready to join the elite force that is the United States Navy, and in doing so I can protect all of the things I love and cherish, but I wouldn’t be alone. I would be serving with the men and women who are all likeminded and have the same goals as I. I currently have two step brothers pursuing careers in the Navy and I want to be able to stand beside them and serve our country as well. What we have in America did not come to us easily, our ancestors had to pay the price of blood in order to gain our freedom and liberties, and until now I’ve taken all of it for granted. Now I fully understand what it took in order to obtain the freedom we have today and I’m ready to accept the responsibilities that come with being a member of the United States Navy. I wish to be a part of the people who make sure the people of America keep the same freedoms and liberties that I am blessed to have now.
Another reason is through the Navy ROTC I can further the process in becoming the best person I can be. I understand that the journey will not be easy, and the process will not be fun, but I am ready to challenge myself in order to do so. I believe that by becoming an Officer in the United States Navy I will obtain the knowledge, physical training, and discipline that will help me succeed in the world today. Only the best of the best become naval officers, I am willing to accept the challenge that is the process of becoming an officer with a positive attitude and a respectable work ethic, in order to obtain my goal. By achieving my goal I will become smarter, stronger, and an all around better person that someone will be able to look up to. These traits are what employers are looking for in an employee and will help me succeed in the job market above others.
