Officer/Enlisted Relationships

[Spekkio]

At the end of the day, it's more important for us to have a shot at being together (some of the time) than nailing down a killer pay grade.

You might stand a better chance of being together 'some of the time' if you both commission. Keep in mind that your career paths and duty rotations could be completely different as O vs. E. Definitely head over to pers and look at whatever career briefs they have to see how your nominal duty timeline would align with hers.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

In addition to Intel officer, she's also interested in CTI, but doesn't have one of the degrees that they want for IWO or CWE. In fact, as far as her actual interests go, the linguistics side of things are actually more appealing to her, though everyone just seems to assume that we should be shooting for commissions since we have bachelor's degrees.

At the end of the day, it's more important for us to have a shot at being together (some of the time) than nailing down a killer pay grade. Also, the most specific indication I can get from any recruiter as to the day-to-day difference (pay aside) from O and E is "officers are managers, enlisted is more hands-on." We're both right out of college and in no way opposed to joining the Navy in a more hands-on capacity, if that is indeed what the enlisted experience is more like. Does the manager/hands-on description sound like an accurate way to describe the difference between an Intel officer and an IS, for example?

Whether enlisted or officer those designators and rates are very small, on the officer side Intel is currently closed even when open the selection rate is very very low, chances go down if you don't have a tech degree, they go down more if you don't have a graduate degree, if you don't have a stellar GPA even lower.

On the enlisted side IDC is also small and there is no guarantee an IDC job would be available, there could be a spot available 5 minutes before a person sits in the chair to pick, then it is gone, and if you tell the recruiter you are only looking for a specific job then good luck at actual getting to go to MEPS, at my NRD the enlisted recruiters asked each applicant if they were willing to pick any available job, if the answer was "no" they were not allowed to send them to MEPS, if a person did go to MEPS and ended up being QNE "qualified, not enlisted" they didn't get a second chance.

If you both want to be in the USN I would say look at designators that will give you both a good chance at getting selected and go for that.

 

[Steve Wilkins]

The real question you should both be asking yourselves is why your future wife, who is presumably qualified to apply as an officer, is considering the enlisted route.

A voice of reason. Never ever fucking enlist if you can be an officer. It's just plain old good common sense.

 

[NickHugon]

A voice of reason. Never ever fucking enlist if you can be an officer. It's just plain old good common sense.

I hear you, but I'm looking for specific differences beyond the one sentence response of "management vs. hands on." Other than the perks of being an officer, is the day-to-day experience that different?

 

[Brett327]

I hear you, but I'm looking for specific differences beyond the one sentence response of "management vs. hands on." Other than the perks of being an officer, is the day-to-day experience that different?

For some perspective, Steve and I have both been on the enlisted side - that ought to tell you something about where we're coming from on this matter. The lifestyle is radically different and it goes beyond perks, pay or responsibilities. A typical enlisted person will spend the first year or two doing relatively menial work. It will often take several years to work up the experience and rank to be put in any kind of position of responsibility. The difference in pay is significant. Trying to boil it down to "management vs. hands on" is glossing over major lifestyle differences and it makes me think the recruiter is trying to hook your GF into something that she is overqualified for. This happens all the time - caveat emptor.

Your GF worked hard to earn her degree. Why should she sell herself short and work in a field that doesn't require one?

 

[exNavyOffRec]

I hear you, but I'm looking for specific differences beyond the one sentence response of "management vs. hands on." Other than the perks of being an officer, is the day-to-day experience that different?

here is a scenario that have have seen two people met in the nuke pipeline and were married, then one picked up an officer program, fast forward a few years, one is an Ensign the other is a E-4, he has his officer friends, she has her enlisted friends, they have a small party, command hears about enlisted at a party with officers, no issues with the 2 being married but both warned about fraternization between officer and enlisted.

 

[NickHugon]

Fair enough on all accounts. Thanks for the responses, everyone!

This is now unrelated to the original topic I posted, but I've read numerous times now elsewhere that the next Intel boards have been postponed, and my recruiter (frustratingly) is dodging my direct question asking him to confirm this. All this time I've been preparing for a May board, and I want to get this confirmed somewhere other than a forum, helpful as this site has been. He HAS to know the answer...right? In any case, can someone point me to an actual source showing that Intel boards are in fact closed?

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Fair enough on all accounts. Thanks for the responses, everyone!

This is now unrelated to the original topic I posted, but I've read numerous times now elsewhere that the next Intel boards have been postponed, and my recruiter (frustratingly) is dodging my direct question asking him to confirm this. All this time I've been preparing for a May board, and I want to get this confirmed somewhere other than a forum, helpful as this site has been. He HAS to know the answer...right? In any case, can someone point me to an actual source showing that Intel boards are in fact closed?

RUFIO has put out a few times that NRC notified the NRD's that Intel and NFO are currently closed, an IDC board in May may still occur but they just won't pick any Intel.

 

[picklesuit]

I hear you, but I'm looking for specific differences beyond the one sentence response of "management vs. hands on." Other than the perks of being an officer, is the day-to-day experience that different?

Yes

 

[RHINOWSO]

I hear you, but I'm looking for specific differences beyond the one sentence response of "management vs. hands on." Other than the perks of being an officer, is the day-to-day experience that different?

#1?

Money.

A new O-1 makes more than a 6 year E-6.
A 2 year O-2 makes more than a 10 year E-7.
A 4 year O-3 makes more than a 20 year E-9.
A 10-12 year O4 makes more than a 30 year E-9.

Of course that is only base pay, but once you get rolling the difference in pay is astounding. And when you finally realize how hard you'll work being the Navy, then add into it the stress of a MIL-MIL marriage (good luck), realizing that you'll spend months and years apart, you'll at least want to be well paid.

The only reason I think it makes sense to be enlisted for good (when you could be an officer) is if you want to be a door kicking SEAL for your whole career (and understand how jacked up you could be physically at 20 years, not to mention understanding that retirement pay is on BASE PAY ONLY - I've seen some retired E-8s who were pulling 120K a year at special places but when it comes to retirement, get @30K pre-tax, because they got TONS of incentive / special pays).

 

[RHINOWSO]

here is a scenario that have have seen two people met in the nuke pipeline and were married, then one picked up an officer program, fast forward a few years, one is an Ensign the other is a E-4, he has his officer friends, she has her enlisted friends, they have a small party, command hears about enlisted at a party with officers, no issues with the 2 being married but both warned about fraternization between officer and enlisted.

Yup. They are too young to realize the possible issues. More senior types (like O-4 LDO and E-8 examples) are mature enough to be careful with the issue.

 

[nittany03]

Yup. They are too young to realize the possible issues. More senior types (like O-4 LDO and E-8 examples) are mature enough to be careful with the issue.

This. The one example married couple I quoted earlier (an O-3 and E-7) were very careful, and mature and professional enough, to make it a non-issue.

 

[Spekkio]

#1? Money...

I would argue that money is the least of concerns. Aside from the stickiness of having a circle of enlisted and officer friends that are not supposed to be friends (which becomes an increasingly bigger deal as you become more senior), there are large differences in quality of life and how they will be treated. Officers are treated like adults for the most part and are given the latitude to manage their own time; junior enlisted Sailors do not and are not.

 

[robav8r]

Officers are treated like adults for the most part and are given the latitude to manage their own time; junior enlisted Sailors do not and are not.

Yes and no. Good leaders inspire (and treat) ALL Sailors like adults. When we stop holding them accountable (and to standards) you're right, they won't act like adults.

 

[RHINOWSO]

And then it's back to money. Solid E5 and above have responsibility and latitude to get the job done.

And as mentioned about, Officers get lots more dollars. The kid wanted an argument to be an officer vs enlisted for his girlfriend. And money is it.

Money certainly isn't everything but when you work like a slave it's nice to be compensated. And as previously mentioned I work with several retired NSW E-8/9s and pretty much to a person the retirement pay was a kick in the nuts (but there really is no excuse for it, everyone knows it's BASE PAY). They had as much or more responsibility that lots of non-command officers - millions of dollars of boats, equipment, personnel, responsibility, etc - and were getting paid nearly what O-4s make... until retirement, when all the extra bennies go away.