Question about money

[squeeze]

That was my initial hack on this issue, but I wouldn't want to bolster my reputation as a woman basher any more than I already have. :icon_boun

Brett

Glad I could help.

Cue the call to arms from the Spouse's Forum.

 

[Brett327]

Cue the call to arms from the Spouse's Forum.

Brother, you're the best (virtual rep). It has come to my attention that the spouse's corner, AKA "The Collective," has been trying to psychologically deconstruct me in order to find a cogent argument to counter me. So far, no success. I remain a tenacious and persistent thorn in their sides.

Brett

 

[sirenia]

As ZoomByU has pointed out: they are contemplating marriage.

We would plan on being married before I would start TBS.

Perhaps this is simply longterm planning based on potential financial needs after the wedding? In which case I think the advice offered by most everyone on the thread about sitting down and going over a budget is sound.

The murky status of being a "girlfriend" notwithstanding, I agree that a woman should be involved in the earning of income if financial worries exist.

If the issue of not having enough money is a limiting factor to the continuation of a relationship, be it marriage or dating, and I am not saying that is the case here, then the relationship itself needs to be reexamined rather than potential income.

 

[squeeze]

it's not about the FUC*&ng $ damn it!!! if she cant live with that and you cant either than dont lead Marines, I would not want my LCpl little brother being lead by some whooped, candy as* who let his life be dictated by the woman he thought loved him..............it's not about us pal......it's about those Marines that we are fortunate enough to lead. If $ is what you want than go somewhere else for "employment" I'd do this for a lot less than what I make no matter what some girl said or thinks....just my .02 cents although it may be a little rough and not nice this is a lifestyle not a JOB

what the christ?

 

[squeeze]

Squeeze,
Im apologize if I come across a little hostile, but I have a little brother in MCT right now and a mom in IRAQ so when I see Officers questioning their obligations as such it pisses me off. Since when has $ ever been apart of what we do and since when has the Marine Corps ever acknowledged any other relationship but marriage? IT'S NOT ABOUT US OR WHAT WE FEEL OR WANT THE PRIVILEDGE IS THAT WE LEAD Marines. F- the rest!!!!!!

Nobody ever questioned his obligation. He asked if the money was enough, which is a perfectly valid concern. We simply harassed him for letting his g/f call the shots.

And thanks, I don't need a lecture on what it's all about from someone even more of a boot than I.

 

[eddie]

Man, I know I'm one of the softies on this forum, but I hope this guy gets "AirWarriors gang tackled," as somebody once put it...

 

[Raptor2216]

she wants to be comfortable. Ive already sat down with her and showed her the pay scales and such. We worked through our debt which includes car payments, phones, insurance, etc. For the most part do you gus live comfortably?

Tell her to get a job.

 

[Steve Wilkins]

OK Squeeze, You are the Man is that what you what want "BOOT" LT? Get a clue man its a little more real for me pal. No matter where you are in the "pipeline" F- the & Im not trying to start a feud here but when did you ever expect & and gain from the Corps?

Dude, you're done. Hope it all works out for ya.

 

[Kathy]

Like I said, 'girlfriends' and a guy's salary have nothing to do with each other.

Steve - While I agree with you to some extent, I think a smart couple will discuss finances before they take the next step and get engaged. It's one of those subjects that can be a deal breaker if the two are not on the same page. I also think smart couples that are involved with the military should base that discussion on the military member's income alone because of the uncertainty of the job market for spouses in these places. If she's able to find work, that's great - they'll be all the more comfortable - but if not, she needs to know realistically what to expect.

This is all assuming - as the original poster indicated - that they are contemplating marriage and this isn't a casual relationship.

 

[Steve Wilkins]

Steve - While I agree with you to some extent, I think a smart couple will discuss finances before they take the next step and get engaged. It's one of those subjects that can be a deal breaker if the two are not on the same page. I also think smart couples that are involved with the military should base that discussion on the military member's income alone because of the uncertainty of the job market for spouses in these places. If she's able to find work, that's great - they'll be all the more comfortable - but if not, she needs to know realistically what to expect.

This is all assuming - as the original poster indicated - that they are contemplating marriage and this isn't a casual relationship.

See, that's why we're here...to give sound, logical, thoughtful advice. I'm the sound and logical one; Brett is the thoughtful one. Maybe we were a bit hard on the "girlfriend". Maybe their relationship is a bit more serious than led to believe. In that case, finances should surely be discussed.

 

[Schnugg]

As I understand it...Finances is the #1 instigator of arguments in marriages.

r/
G

 

[DocT]

Steve - While I agree with you to some extent, I think a smart couple will discuss finances before they take the next step and get engaged. It's one of those subjects that can be a deal breaker if the two are not on the same page. I also think smart couples that are involved with the military should base that discussion on the military member's income alone because of the uncertainty of the job market for spouses in these places. If she's able to find work, that's great - they'll be all the more comfortable - but if not, she needs to know realistically what to expect.

This is the only reason I have been discussing finances with my girlfriend. We plan on getting married in the not too distant future. Her family has absolutely no experience with the military and she really doesn't know what to expect. I've been trying to paint as good a picture as I can as to how it's really going to be for us as we move forward. I'd urge anybody with a serious significant other to do the same.


Doc

 

[ryann24]

A few things to point out to her would be the tax benefits and medical. These can make a big difference. As money is important, it is not everything. We had to make some sacrifices when my husband was an e-5 and e-6 and we decided that I would stay at home to raise our children. It can be done! If she is not working, no she is not going to be able to go on shopping sprees all the time. If that is something she wants and does not stay at home with children, then maybe she should get a job. Remember, if it is your dream to be in the service and be an officer, that should be something she supports 100%. There is a lot that comes along with that and takes a huge commitment on her part, if she is not totally committed to you and your career and already concerned about the "lack" of pay, that is concerning. Because it is not always going to be a fairytale!! (the deployments, moving, long hours, etc) just my two cents! Good luck!

 

[Steve Wilkins]

A few things to point out to her would be the tax benefits and medical. These can make a big difference.

This is a god point and I should expand on it a bit more. Anytime you are going to compare finances based on military income and finances based on civilian income, you must must must take into consideration the tax benefits of BAH, BAS, along with health care coverage. In other words, you need to convert your military pay and benefits into civilian dollars. Then, and only then, can you compare financial apples to apples.

 

[VarmintShooter]

Try this thing out for the prospective spouse ... better than breaking out the pay charts as it comes up with a "Civilian Equivalent" pay and includes everything ...

http://staynavytools.bol.navy.mil/PCC/?B3=Launch+Calculator