Maybe in some squadrons but in both of my squadrons, wives with or without children were welcome and active in the spouse's groups. There was no discrimination or exclusion.
But like every squadron, every squadron spouse's group will be different.
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Significant Other Question--Female Officer Perspective
- Thread starter anghockey
- Start date
Maybe in some squadrons but in both of my squadrons, wives with or without children were welcome and active in the spouse's groups. There was no discrimination or exclusion.
But like every squadron, every squadron spouse's group will be different.
I'm still not convinced that this thread is based on a serious question. You're not even picked up for OCS yet (and thus have no clue what YOUR future holds), and you've not been with this guy very long (and thus have no clue what your future together holds), and you're already trying to form long-term babysitting arrangements? Scaaaaary....
To address another issue...What MB said about the "wives club" I have not observed to be the case. This might be because I'm in VP and there are more than 50 officers in the wardroom, so there's a little more diversity among the women. But the mothers and wives get along fine and do lots of stuff together--or not. Some of them actually have their own friends and do stuff with them, although they're always welcome at other stuff.
To address another issue...What MB said about the "wives club" I have not observed to be the case. This might be because I'm in VP and there are more than 50 officers in the wardroom, so there's a little more diversity among the women. But the mothers and wives get along fine and do lots of stuff together--or not. Some of them actually have their own friends and do stuff with them, although they're always welcome at other stuff.
I don't buy drinks. I usually get them to buy me drinks, or get them to go to the motard at the other table to buy us all drinks.
Dudes don't count.
This wasn't the case with our club. I didn't have a child for the first 2 1/2 years of my husband's sea tour and I never felt like an outsider. We all did things together regardless of if we had kids or not.
anghockey
Fleens? You're not Fleens!
That's not an entirely fair statement. I've already been selected for Marines OCS, so there's a certainty that I'm going somewhere if the Navy doesn't work out. My S.O. actually asked me about the whole support group thing, since he doesn't know any other guys who've got wives/girlfriends in he military. Nobody wants my sob story, but I'm well aware that nothing is certain, just keeping my bases covered so to speak!
Minus the whole titty bar bit, this has been a really helpful thread. And even that bit was funny.
So the Corps is your second choice...heresy!
Your OSO know about this?...
Since there seems to be some other interest, I'll post what I originally PM'd to anghockey:
My husband and I are both military. My squadron spouses club was never particularly welcoming, but also not unfriendly to him. Most of the activities they had while I was gone (bunco, movie night) really didn't appeal to him anyway. The wives in his own squadron, however, were very sympathetic and invited him over for dinner now and then and even pooled together for an "over the hump" (halfway through deployment) present. It really just depends on the group. All the family groups are supposed to be "spouses clubs" or as we move toward the Army way of doing things, "Family Readiness Groups," so he should never be excluded. Alas, most of the groups are predominantly female. Outside of the more informal groups, Chaplains and Fleet and Family Services are actually pretty good providing support for guys, too.
Each squadron and each group of spouses is going to be different. Just like a new CO checks in and the squadron culture changes, so does the spouses club. Having kids or not didn't seem to matter, I personally got along better with the other wives who worked. As far as my squadron-mates wives- some of them (also those who had their own careers and lives) became good friends of mine. Others were nice enough, but seemed to always be looking at me like, "you slept with my husband on deployment, didnt you?" (Lady, if you saw your sweaty, smelly husband on deployment, you wouldn't sleep with him either)
Incidentally, the original purpose of "Officers' Wives Clubs" was NOT support. Most charters for groups list them as charitable/social groups. The purpose being to do good out in the community and show you were good citizens while the menfolk fight the war. Social events (fund raisers, etc) happened in this effort, and support came out of this, but was not the original intent. Some charters have changed and no longer define the group as a charitiable organization, but in theory they should find less official support from the squadron if they exists purely as a social group.
My husband and I are both military. My squadron spouses club was never particularly welcoming, but also not unfriendly to him. Most of the activities they had while I was gone (bunco, movie night) really didn't appeal to him anyway. The wives in his own squadron, however, were very sympathetic and invited him over for dinner now and then and even pooled together for an "over the hump" (halfway through deployment) present. It really just depends on the group. All the family groups are supposed to be "spouses clubs" or as we move toward the Army way of doing things, "Family Readiness Groups," so he should never be excluded. Alas, most of the groups are predominantly female. Outside of the more informal groups, Chaplains and Fleet and Family Services are actually pretty good providing support for guys, too.
Each squadron and each group of spouses is going to be different. Just like a new CO checks in and the squadron culture changes, so does the spouses club. Having kids or not didn't seem to matter, I personally got along better with the other wives who worked. As far as my squadron-mates wives- some of them (also those who had their own careers and lives) became good friends of mine. Others were nice enough, but seemed to always be looking at me like, "you slept with my husband on deployment, didnt you?" (Lady, if you saw your sweaty, smelly husband on deployment, you wouldn't sleep with him either)
Incidentally, the original purpose of "Officers' Wives Clubs" was NOT support. Most charters for groups list them as charitable/social groups. The purpose being to do good out in the community and show you were good citizens while the menfolk fight the war. Social events (fund raisers, etc) happened in this effort, and support came out of this, but was not the original intent. Some charters have changed and no longer define the group as a charitiable organization, but in theory they should find less official support from the squadron if they exists purely as a social group.