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Marriage at Flight School

villanelle said:
When he was around and not studying or otherwise busy on his own, we were either doing EP quizzes, or having sex. (And yes, occasionally those were combined. My teaching methods are unconventional, but effective.)
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I might have you talk with my wife...Your study methods sound very, uhmmm, educational.

Seriously though, It's nice to have the female perspective on things. Thanks for posting.
 
I got married between API and Primary. She is a great partner and, for me, made the whole process easier. Having someone to talk to about something OTHER than flight school was the key for me. I tended to stress about it and she was a great distraction. She took care of everything at home allowing me to focus solely on flight school, too. She paid the bills, cooked, cleaned the house, did the laundry, helped me study, changed the oil in her car, got naked, out drank my friends when we went out, and then got naked again when we got home.

That was a typical Monday. I couldn't wait for a weekend.
 
I got married during intermediates in Meridian. This was during or just prior to FCLP in the T-2, so I was likely doing the gun pattern or starting FCLPs. It was the right decision at the time and still the right decision looking back. She was a good study partner, when I was in advanced and studying for 2v1 ACM, she helped with memorizing the comm flow. When I'm hanging with other pilots and flight school comes up, she still jokes about "Eagle 1 and Eagle 2" since she probably had it memorized before I did.

We just went over 11 years, she's still my best friend, still happily married, she still packs my lunch and makes dinner most days, although the lunch thing has slacked off recently.

Funny story unrelated. Not long after we got married, I was in advanced at the time, and the wive's club did a sack lunch fund raiser, ie, they sold a sack lunch for say $5 to raise money for their little club. My wife has always been a non-participant in the knives club, so she didn't know it was going on. The sack lunch I bought that day had a cloth napkin, which I then brought home and threw in the laundry, which she then questioned where it came from. When I told her, she started crying and was upset about being a bad wife and not packing my lunch for me. No shit she packed my lunch for me almost every day for the rest of my career, and still packs my lunch for me say 3-4 days of the week.

Dude, if you want to get married, get married. I made it through the fleet and 3 deployments and I am still happily married, I ended up with 2 boys (rumors were fighter guys only have girls), and life is good. I'm incrediby proud of my time as a fighter pilot, but 40 years from now, when I look back on my life, I think the wife and kids will mean a whole lot more to me.
 
FlyBoyd said:
I got married between API and Primary. She is a great partner and, for me, made the whole process easier. Having someone to talk to about something OTHER than flight school was the key for me. I tended to stress about it and she was a great distraction. She took care of everything at home allowing me to focus solely on flight school, too. She paid the bills, cooked, cleaned the house, did the laundry, helped me study, changed the oil in her car, got naked, out drank my friends when we went out, and then got naked again when we got home.

That was a typical Monday. I couldn't wait for a weekend.
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Ditto, but I wasn't going to go there. :D
 
SWACQ said:
She was a good study partner, when I was in advanced and studying for 2v1 ACM, she helped with memorizing the comm flow. When I'm hanging with other pilots and flight school comes up, she still jokes about "Eagle 1 and Eagle 2" since she probably had it memorized before I did.
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Same/same....I remember walking around the neighborhood with the stick models, going back and forth with wifey on the comm flow. I guess some things in Naval Aviation don't change :)
 
SWACQ said:
I'm incrediby proud of my time as a fighter pilot, but 40 years from now, when I look back on my life, I think the wife and kids will mean a whole lot more to me.
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Big picture right there. Being the father of a 15mo old is easily the coolest thing I've ever done.
 
Although it may be said, you can get another wife, but there's only one US Navy and Marine Corps!
 
MIDNJAC said:
Same/same....I remember walking around the neighborhood with the stick models, going back and forth with wifey on the comm flow. I guess some things in Naval Aviation don't change :)
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I can still, warn you about exactly what may happen with the simultaneous actuation of the same brake in both cockpits in a T-34.
 
MIDNJAC said:
haha, wow, I pushed that from my memory like 2 years ago :)

Does the prop fall off?
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May lead to shuttle valve neutralization, causing loss of breaking effectiveness.

And Husband was in primary more than 10 years ago. Now if only I could remember where I left my keys...
 
I agree with Villanelle. We were married during advance way back in the days of T2's and A4's at NAS Chase Field in Beeville, TX. I think making flight school a "team effort" was good both for my husband and our marriage. It's something we've continued throughout his career.

I always have to chuckle when the advice is "Don't get married during flight school because it's too hard, too stressful, etc., etc." Flight school was a walk in the park compared just about every other tour my husband has had.
 
Wudgles said:
I've never cut my arm off, but I know life is easier with two arms vice one. That's sort of what I'm getting at with this: it's easier to worry about just myself than having to deal with the added stresses a new marriage brings. While I haven't experienced the joys of marriage, which I am in no way knocking, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that being single is easier during flight school. You're all correct that you have an incredible person to support you during the harder times, which I'm honestly envious of. However, I'm pretty sure it's easier to just worry about myself during an extremely hectic and pressure-filled time like flight school.

OP, I'm happy you found the one. If you're dedicated to it, things will work out. My comment was only geared towards what's easier logistically (with a little bit of hyperbole, no doubt). Best of luck in both endeavors.
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Stupidest analogy I've read in a long time-Bodily harm/handicapping compared to marriage. A spouse isn't a burden-They are a person who can manage themselves. As long as they understand a bit of what flight school is about...Non-issue. If you have never been married-Shut up. If you've been married and are now separated-You might have some valid points- but your marriage going bad isn't every marriage.

I got pissed every time I heard that "Who is married?? Who has kids??" speech at the start of every phase- so much so that it went into my critiques. I've been married for 3 years and change now and had a kid during primary-I had 0 issues. And my wife is active duty too...
Someone earlier said it best...Marriage is always a challenge- but if it's a challenge you want- GO FOR IT!!!
 
Brunes said:
Stupidest analogy I've read in a long time-Bodily harm/handicapping compared to marriage. A spouse isn't a burden --- words
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I wasn't implying that marriage is akin to lopping one's arm off, just that I can see how flight school is easier as a bachelor. The two-arms-vice-one portion was just an exaggeration of life being easier. Sorry if it came off as me knocking marriage. That definitely was not my intention.

On the serious side, I'm honestly curious: would you say that flight school is easier as a single guy, married guy, or as a parent? That's really the only point I was trying to make.
 
Don't get married in Flight School. Unless you want to be living in a camper on your shore tour.

Some women who are great when you are home every night, and seen normal enough lose their fucking minds when you deploy. If she's worth it, she'll wait.

Also, do live with the person before you get married. I know parents and churches will occasionally pitch a fit over this, but a lot of the issues that caused me HUGE issues, would have been apparent if I had lived with the ex for a few months, vice having an apartment on the island and her living near Oso Bay.Trust me on this..

I've paid out over $319,000. And that's not counting retirement. And no, we did not have kids.

If she's worth it, she'll wait. If she pulls the "marry me now or I leave" shit in ANY manner (subtle or direct) what the fuck you think she's going to start demanding WHEN you are married.

Search "Manatee" and "Psycho Ex Wife" with my username. You will find plenty of reasons not to. The reason a lot less divorced guys are not speaking out against getting married, is that the ones that have alimony AND child support can't even afford the internet. :icon_tong
 
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