As others have said, a VFA JO section can fly into badguystan and drop a bomb with almost no "adult" supervision.
To get a TLAM on target, in addition to whatever is going on aboard the DDG/CG, you have a whole cell full of people back at a HQ or on the CVN doing all sorts of crap to manage it (some of whom are aviators, btw). So even then, the shooter's skipper, TAO, strike officer, etc isn't running the fight in the same way a JO in a pointy nosed jet is.
Having been in VFA land for my first tour and now working alongside SWOs who care about blowing stuff up, I can see why some folks like AZguy are adamant that their community does care about warfighting. But I still don't see them as coming close to the pointy nosed guys.
I can't really disagree with anything you've said here, at the LT level, even as a slimy RL guy.

Maybe the best way to re-state my above post would be to note that we all "peak" at different points in our career. The most tactical aviators -- I won't name any specific community as someone will clearly get butthurt -- will probably hit their most tactical tour as a patch-wearing LT TRAINO or maybe DH. In the CRUDES world, you gain more and more responsibility as you rise through the ranks. LT TAOs can squeeze off missiles/torps/trons to defend the force...maybe do a little OCA and deliberate attack, depending on your definition... The CDR CO obviously gains much, much more responsibility to act offensively in a multi-domain fight (hint: your quote above betrays a misunderstanding of TLAM employment)...and to over-rule the TAO if he or she is in CIC.