Baby during Flight School

[Mouselovr]

I'm kidless but in advance and have seen my peers have kids or go through with em.
Heck we even had a girl try to make it through primary as a single mom....

As others have said, there's no good time, but flight school isn't a bad time. NASC/TW4/TW5 have been very reasonable and accommodating around weddings/baby leave/delaying class up dates in anticipation of the birth of a child. Everyone has fantastic spouses who have shouldered the load during crunch times. And everyone has made it through with one exception who DORed bc having kids made him realize a priority shift.

Keep the command in the loop and it should be fine.

 

[Gatordev]

Ops will be mad at you in flight school for an endless number of reasons. It doesn’t actually matter.

True regardless if you're a stud or IP.

 

[sevenhelmet]

My advice? Wait until shore duty. Flight school is the time to be out making friendships that will last your entire career, when you aren't studying and chair flying to crush your next event. Your first fleet tour will be similar, and even busier. Focusing on that will pay dividends for a long time. Recognizing that not everyone wants or is able to wait (I had my first born during my JO fleet tour), I would still recommend getting on a solid career footing with a few years in your fleet aircraft, and then start a family from your chosen shore duty. Caveat: not as a student at TPS... get to your test squadron first, as @IKE mentioned.

 

[Flash]

One thing to consider, what if there are issues/complications for mom and/or baby? That could take you out of flight school at a critical juncture and I've long learned it is things are a lot easier Navy-wise once you are winged versus not.

As others have said there is never a good time to have a baby but there are less bad times to have one, flight school is one of those times that are the 'least good' in my opinion.

 

[mikeyw]

Hey dudes, just want some quick advice because this is a topic my wife and I talk a good bit about. Currently 27 years old and 6 years prior enlisted. Im slotted for OCS for SNA in summer 2026 (29yrs old) and was thinking about trying to have kids once Primary has started. Reading through the thread, I know guys discourage babies during flight school but based on this timing, I would have already been slotted for the type of aircraft I'll be flying so at least that stress will be gone. I've heard first JO tour is not the best timing because of how busy you'll be and time away from home. In this case, if all goes well, I'll already be tracking on my aircraft for the Navy and be home a decent amount. What are your guys thoughts on this?

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

Hey dudes, just want some quick advice because this is a topic my wife and I talk a good bit about. Currently 27 years old and 6 years prior enlisted. Im slotted for OCS for SNA in summer 2026 (29yrs old) and was thinking about trying to have kids once Primary has started. Reading through the thread, I know guys discourage babies during flight school but based on this timing, I would have already been slotted for the type of aircraft I'll be flying so at least that stress will be gone. I've heard first JO tour is not the best timing because of how busy you'll be and time away from home. In this case, if all goes well, I'll already be tracking on my aircraft for the Navy and be home a decent amount. What are your guys thoughts on this?

Did you mean summer 2025?

 

[mikeyw]

No, Summer 2026.... ECM for my rate is making me finish most of my reenlistment before going to OCS

 

[PhrogPhlyer]

trying to have kids once Primary has started

My daughter was born one week after being winged.
Do what you think is right, but keep in mind, a baby will cut into your rest and study time.

 

[Birdbrain]

After observing everything from Flight School to the Fleet as a JO as a single dude, I’ll just say this:

The Navy will always recommend don’t do anything that will impact your career negatively, i.e if it doesn’t have to do with flying or could impact your ability to study and focus negatively then don’t do it. I’ve seen guys go through flight school single (myself included), guys go through with girlfriends (who do or don’t work out), guys go through married or get married (who do or don’t work out), but I’ve never seen anybody have kids in flight school and I don’t know anybody who’s had kids in their sea tour.

There are very few JOs I personally know who have kids and if they did usually had them beforehand. Most people with kids are DHs; sometimes they are married and sometimes they used to be.

My observation is that Navy life is stressful on relationships. Kids add more stress. If your SO can’t handle it or you can’t handle it, you have to reevaluate your priorities. Do you want a career in the Navy or do you want a married family? Neither answer is objectively right and only you and your SO can answer that.

I’ll say personally looking back, flight school/FRS is a lot of work and focus. You do also have more free time than you do in your fleet tour…but I’d say having a kid in flight school would be absolute havoc.

 

[IKE]

I got married during A-Pool, my first kid was born 2 months before PCSing to Japan for my JO tour, my 2nd was born halfway through TPS, and my 3rd & 4th were born two months into an 8-month DH deployment. Shit happens; you'll survive.

If your SO already went through a deployment with you, you've got a huge leg up on most JOs regarding awareness of the stress factors.

 

[MIDNJAC]

We waited until my shore tour for -1, and then made -2 right in the middle of workups for my follow on tour. That one was born in Dec, and I missed the better part of his first year of life, while gone on that deployment. No good time. I think the key, at least for me, was having a really patient and understanding wife. There were MANY nights where I slept in the guest room with the equivalent of a "no not disturb" sign on the door, because I had some very early brief, or I'd just flown late into the night. I know a lot of guys (some might call them better fathers) who did all of the same flights and just sucked up the sleep deprivation to keep a consistent parenting schedule because their wives were having none of that shit. I don't think that would have worked for me, professionally, which is why I'm quite grateful for my better half. She still puts up with me getting home at 0100-0200 from the airport after an airline trip (and probably not getting to sleep until 0300-0400), and missing the morning push out the door the next day. Just some things to think about. And like others have said, there is no great time, but there are a lot of better times than flight school. Even the FRS would be better than that.

 

[PhrogPhlyer]

but I’ve never seen anybody have kids in flight school and I don’t know anybody who’s had kids in their sea tour.

Do you want a career in the Navy or do you want a married family?

Well Mr. JO Birdbrain, as a 24 year retired career MARINE and Army aviator, I and many others were and are able to balance the service (CONUS, OCONUS and afloat) with a spouse and children. All five services openly support the military family as an integral part or our shared military community.

Is having a family difficult at times on the service member and/or their family, of course it is. But, I for one, am proud that my family was there to share in the adventure.

Over 53% of the US Military is married. and would venture to guess more than a few of them have had children, often at militarily inconvenient times. But they still Deploy, Remain Mission Focused, and answer the Call to Battle Stations.

Bravo Zulu to all our brothers and sisters in arms, no matter their marital status.

 

[Birdbrain]

Well Mr. JO Birdbrain, as a 24 year retired career MARINE and Army aviator, I and many others were and are able to balance the service (CONUS, OCONUS and afloat) with a spouse and children. All five services openly support the military family as an integral part or our shared military community.

Is having a family difficult at times on the service member and/or their family, of course it is. But, I for one, am proud that my family was there to share in the adventure.

Over 53% of the US Military is married. and would venture to guess more than a few of them have had children, often at militarily inconvenient times. But they still Deploy, Remain Mission Focused, and answer the Call to Battle Stations.

Bravo Zulu to all our brothers and sisters in arms, no matter their marital status.

That’s terrific. Good for you and your family, Sir.

It was just an observation.

 

[Nationals2019]

After observing everything from Flight School to the Fleet as a JO as a single dude, I’ll just say this:

The Navy will always recommend don’t do anything that will impact your career negatively, i.e if it doesn’t have to do with flying or could impact your ability to study and focus negatively then don’t do it. I’ve seen guys go through flight school single (myself included), guys go through with girlfriends (who do or don’t work out), guys go through married or get married (who do or don’t work out), but I’ve never seen anybody have kids in flight school and I don’t know anybody who’s had kids in their sea tour.

There are very few JOs I personally know who have kids and if they did usually had them beforehand. Most people with kids are DHs; sometimes they are married and sometimes they used to be.

My observation is that Navy life is stressful on relationships. Kids add more stress. If your SO can’t handle it or you can’t handle it, you have to reevaluate your priorities. Do you want a career in the Navy or do you want a married family? Neither answer is objectively right and only you and your SO can answer that.

I’ll say personally looking back, flight school/FRS is a lot of work and focus. You do also have more free time than you do in your fleet tour…but I’d say having a kid in flight school would be absolute havoc.

To give another data point, I’m a JO in my first sea tour. Out of our ~50 JO wardroom (MPRA), at least 10 of us (that I can think of right now) have had kids in the last 2.5 years.

No marked difference between my squadron and my friends outside the Navy. Of course it comes with challenges, but it’s not at all uncommon.