I think the missing ingredient in this discussion is the understanding that when we use the term “rules based order” we are doing it in the context of nation-state to nation-state actors, not internal actions. Thus, when a nation does something terrible within their borders are reaction is limited to diplomatic and economic sanctions only (a “weaker” way to enforce “rules based order”), however when a nation acts eying their border the potential reactions include soft and hard military options. Russia is far beyond the pale of common order, so NATO has casus foederis (a case for an alliance) in defense of order and peace. So, to put it simply, Russia had no “right” to attack the Ukraine but NATO has every “right” to help prevent the Ukraine from falling into Russian hands.