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f-22 driver evaluates the mighty phantom

flaps

happy to be here
None
Contributor
Here is what this young, whipper snapper, Air Force hot rod had to say about our beloved Phantoms. Too
bad he didn't have our "seat of the pants" pilot skills to make the mighty F-4 do what YOU wanted it to do
without 10,000 computers doing it for you! Anyway, here is a letter from this F-22 pilot from the Virginia
ANG to one of his "old geezer" pilot friends after he test flew a Phantom down at Eglin: "I flew your jet a couple days ago (see attached). I had a little trouble getting the engines started, so I climbed out and shoveled some more coal in the back; after that she fired right up. Ground ops were uneventful, although I couldn’t figure out why the cockpit smelled like body odor, Jack Daniels and cigars…and that was BEFORE I got in it! By the way, what’s with the no slip crap on top of the intakes, it’s like you have permanent icing conditions due to that spray on rhino truck bed liner on top of the aircraft. It’s no wonder you needed so much coal (I mean thrust) to get airborne. Take off scared the shit out of me…I lit the burners at brick one and 2 miles and 45 minutes later we were ready to rotate. After barely clearing the tree tops, the gear came up and I climbed away at a VERY impressive 2 degrees nose high. In case you don’t remember, “Trim” is your friend in the F-4 (pretty sure it’s also a good friend on the ground, too). Once I got her up to speed and a moderate altitude, we were ready for the G-Ex. Two G-turn’s later and I’m sinking like a rock…the F-4’s energy seems to bleed like Holyfield’s ear in the Tyson fight! After the G-Ex it was time to do a little Advanced Handling Characteristics (AHC)…and by “advanced handling” I mean the same crap the Wright Brothers were doing back in 1903…just trying to keep it airborne. The jet flies much like my old man’s station wagon used to drive…You turn the wheel (push the stick) a few inches and nothing happens, then all of a sudden the steering kicks in, inertia takes over, and all HELL breaks loose! You’re pretty much along for the ride at that point and only gravity has a real say in your lift vector placement. “Checking 6” was really quite easy…. because you CAN’T! Scratch that off the list of “Sh*t I need to do to keep myself alive in combat today”. Breathing, however, was surprisingly easy in the F-4 when compared to that of the F-22 (thank you Lockheed)…LOX works, who knew! I think I may have burned my legs a bit from the steam pouring out from behind the gauges. Where are my 6 mini-flat screen TV’s, I’m lost without my HD jet displays (editors note: actually, I’m an analog guy stuck in a digital world too…I really do like the “steam driven” gauges). After the AHC, I decided to take her up high and do a supersonic MACH run, and by “high” I mean “where never lark nor even eagle flew”; but not much higher, a foot or two maybe. I mean, we weren’t up there high-fiving Jesus like we do in the Raptor, but it was respectable. It only took me the width of the Gulf of Mexico to get the thing turned around while above the Mach. After the Mach run we dropped to the deck and did 600 kts at 500’; a ratllin’ and shakin’ we will go…. I though all the rivets were going to pop out. Reference previous station wagon analogy! Very quickly we were out of gas and headed home. As I brought the jet up initial, I couldn’t help but think that the boys who took this thing into combat had to have some pretty big brass you know whats! My first F-4 landing was a little rough; sub-standard really by Air Force measure… but apparently “best seen to date” according to the Navy guys. Did you know that there’s no such thing as an aerobrake in the F-4? As soon as the main gear touches down, the nose comes slamming down to the runway with all the force of a meteor hitting the earth….I guess the F-4 aerobrake technique is to dissipate energy via denting the runway. Despite an apparently “decent” landing, stopping was a whole different problem. I reached down and pulled the handle to deploy the drogue chute…at which point a large solid mass of canvas, 550 cord, metal weights and cables fell out and began bouncing down the runway; chasing me like a lost puppy and FOD’ing out the whole runway. Perfect. I mashed down on the breaks and I’m pretty sure at this point the jet just started laughing at me. Why didn’t you warn me that I needed a shuttle landing strip to get this damn thing stopped? All kidding aside, VERY COOL jet! Must have been a kick to fly back when you were in Vietnam! Just kidding!
 

Fog

Old RIOs never die: They just can't fast-erect
None
Contributor
F*ck him and R2D2 that he rode in on. He got handed a plane that HE had to fly and had no idea what to do with it. Sounds like a personal problem to me. he got one thing right: the guys who actually flew the Phantom did have brass balls as opposed to this ball-less video game operator.
 

scoolbubba

Brett327 gargles ballsacks
pilot
Contributor
Sounds like the P-3, minus the mach run. We can only do that post-wing jettison actuation.
 

Fallonflyr

Well-Known Member
pilot
F*ck him and R2D2 that he rode in on. He got handed a plane that HE had to fly and had no idea what to do with it. Sounds like a personal problem to me. he got one thing right: the guys who actually flew the Phantom did have brass balls as opposed to this ball-less video game operator.
Get off my lawn you damn kids!
 

Brett327

Well-Known Member
None
Super Moderator
Contributor
Get off my lawn you damn kids!
Exactly. This is the thread where the old timers lament "kids these days" while reveling in auto-erotic, self-aggrandizing orgies of nostalgia, reminding us unwashed masses "how hard they had it." Yeah, you guys had it hard. Progress is a real sonofabitch. :eek:

Brett
 

flaps

happy to be here
None
Contributor
when us phantom guys were kids we had to walk 5 miles to school in the snow barefoot and it was uphill both ways.

also, our computers only had ones... zeros didn't come out til much later.

foam check, chu lai, '70
298248898_a3d7bb4173_z.jpg
 

jmcquate

Well-Known Member
Contributor
when us phantom guys were kids we had to walk 5 miles to school in the snow barefoot and it was uphill both ways.

also, our computers only had ones... zero didn't come out til much later.
Ahhh......that explains the AIM-7.
 

helolumpy

Apprentice School Principal
pilot
Contributor
I can imagine the Navy 40 years ago... Some old-timers sitting around bitching about how the current generation has it so easy with jet aircraft, V/UHF radios, radars and missiles that do all the work in shooting down an enemy aircraft!

Those spoiled pilots don't have to worry about setting the mixture of the fuel and have inertial nav systems that actually tell them where the aircraft is on a map! They barely have to actually fight the aircraft... They point the missile down range and squeeze the trigger. Those new fangled computers do the rest! Now I hear the are making bombs that actually guide themselves to the target!!

This generation is so spoiled.... This "New Navy" is nothing compared to the Navy we had to grow up in!!
 

helolumpy

Apprentice School Principal
pilot
Contributor
Of course some day I'll be bitching about how goggles only had two colors and how we actually had to strap into the aircraft! We couldn't just fly from some air conditioned office ashore, we actually had to get on a ship...!!
 

KBayDog

Well-Known Member
Of course some day I'll be bitching about how goggles only had two colors and how we actually had to strap into the aircraft...

You give our acquisitions systems too much credit. In case you haven't noticed, it's been taking us 20-30 years to field most (all?) of our new aircraft. A new series of Cobra or Huey? A new series of -60? A new series of Hornet? Wow, impressive. :rolleyes:

Sorry - seeing as we've only been in the business of aviaiton for about about a 100 years or so, that does not sound like "progress" to me.

Make no mistake about, those future Aviators who have yet to be conceived will be flying the same, tired BuNos we strap into today.
 

HueyCobra8151

Well-Known Member
pilot
Blah, 40 years ago the old timers who had grown up flying in WW2 were giving the new Phantom Phlyers shit because of all the whiz-bang gizmos it had.
 

HueyCobra8151

Well-Known Member
pilot
Well, to be fair, a lot of those TMS's have been completely overhauled and updated several times, to include new base airframes.
 
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