Getting Married in/directly after TBS

[villanelle]

I would also say that the "dad's a Lt. Col so she kind of knows what she's getting into" is a fallacy. My dad was a Lt Col and I still had pretty much no clue. So don't assume that she knows the ropes, even partially, just because her dad did something similar.

I've always like the adage that you should never marry anyone you wouldn't want to divorce. /unsolicited relationship advice

 

[Brett327]

And then there are those of us who don't have the life experience of TheBubba or MB, and don't have the bitter outlook on marriage that Brett does. And wouldn't change a thing.

MB has good advice, if there is doubt - don't do it, let it survive a deployment as well. PSW and I got married before we both deployed, but it's a little different when you're mil-mil. At least you know your spouse: 1. understands deployment and that it's NOT your choice, and 2. is self-sufficient. Now that I'm a reservist, PSW has benefited from fact #3. I know how to pack for deployment, and can do so for her when she's going on short notice and she's still at work.

I don't disagree with any of that. Marriage isn't for everyone, but some people do it well. The unfortunate thing is that many people think they're ready or that they're with the right person when they're really not.

@Bubba: You hit that nail on the head. I hope it works out this time, but I'll buy you a beer and let you cry on my shoulder when it doesn't.

 

[TheBubba]

Brett, lets hope you never have to buy me that beer. Although there are 7 reasons I can think of where you could buy me beer... And they all end in "day".

 

[ridehard721]

As of now I report to Fox Company (6-12) on September 4th. From what I have gathered historically, and please correct me if I am wrong, Christmas at TBS carries a substantial break. My fiance' and I are planning on getting married on the 22nd of December. There are a lot of unknowns that come along with this plan and because of such I warned her that there is a possibility that it will not be happen. Any positive suggestions/criticism would be greatly appreciated especially from those who have been through a Christmas at Camp Barrett. Thanks.

 

[Renegade One]

...you should never marry anyone you wouldn't want to divorce...

Color me absolutely clueless on this...

 

[villanelle]

Color me absolutely clueless on this...

If you suspect that your significant other would be unpleasant in a divorce, then they aren't someone you should be marrying in the first place.

 

[Rocketman]

If you suspect that your significant other would be unpleasant in a divorce, then they aren't someone you should be marrying in the first place.

Absolutely stellar advice to anyone considering marrage. I'm a 2 time loser so I'm obviously not an expert on marrage but I am an expert on divorce. Both times I was at least smart enough to marry sharp, successful, professional women who were plenty capable of ripping me a new one in a nasty divorce. They didn't because they were good with working it out between the two of us. Once the lawyers start running the show you are lost.

For the record I'm not against marrage, I'm just not very good at it. There won't be a 3rd Mrs. Rocketman.

 

[ridehard721]

If you suspect that your significant other would be unpleasant in a divorce, then they aren't someone you should be marrying in the first place.

This is a fantastic idea. Let's all just go ahead and lynch our marriages before they ever begin. Going into anything with this mindset is set up for auto-failure!

 

[Rocketman]

This is a fantastic idea. Let's all just go ahead and lynch our marriages before they ever begin. Going into anything with this mindset is set up for auto-failure!

So I take it you aren't going to be a fan of learning your EP's ?

 

[villanelle]

This is a fantastic idea. Let's all just go ahead and lynch our marriages before they ever begin. Going into anything with this mindset is set up for auto-failure!

Totally missing the point...

...which is that if you look at her and she's the kind of person who makes you think, "She'd be an ungodly shrew in a divorce", then there are character flaws that mean you shouldn't marry her. That's not because the divorce will suck, but because the *marriage* will. I'm not saying you should go into it with the mindset that you might divorce; I'm saying that asking yourself, "How would she behave in this imaginary scenario?" is a good litmus test to help spot the future crazy, greedy bitches. If she won't act honorably in a divorce, she's not honorable, and why would you marry someone who isn't honorable? If you can't trust her to be reasonable when times are bad and when there's a temptation to act selfishly, doesn't that tell you something about the possibility for success in your marriage?

It isn't about planning for divorce, but about using that hypothetical scenario to take a closer look at you partner's character.

 

[ridehard721]

Very well. In my opinion, which probably doesn't mean anything to anyone on this forum, the home is the foundation of this country. If we want to see it rebuilt it has to start at the home and go up from there. Just an idea. What are EP's?

 

[MasterBates]

Villanelle is spot on.

<--- Speaks from experience.

 

[MasterBates]

EPs are emergency procedures for your aircraft.

And yes, if a woman gives you any inclination that she'd suck in a divorce, it's a STRONG warning sign.

You think I was planning on divorce when I got married? Nope. But if I'd gone with the thought of "man, this chick will be a beast in a divorce" it would have made me think more about here bad personality tendencies, and not get married in the first place.

-She always wanted "what's due to her" bet it grades, etc.. Well, that translates into she thinks you are her money source for life, even if you divorce. You can live in a car, she don't care.
-Did not deal well with being told something's her fault... Well, she got told in court, it was her fault for abusing drugs and sleeping around.

The list could go on, but you get the idea. Just as a thought experiment.. Ask yourself how they would act in a divorce. Even if they initiated it, and were at fault.

 

[villanelle]

Ridehard, how does that in any way contradict what I'm suggesting? I want people to be thoughtful when selecting a spouse, and to avoid building a "foundation" with someone who has a wicked vindictive streak or entitlement complex. But hey, if you want to create a home with some like that, good luck!

 

[Rocketman]

Very well. In my opinion, which probably doesn't mean anything to anyone on this forum, the home is the foundation of this country. If we want to see it rebuilt it has to start at the home and go up from there. Just an idea. What are EP's?

My point with mentioning EP's was that just because you practice emergency procedures in an aircraft doesn't make an emergency any more likely to occur. It means is that you will have a better chance of a good outcome when something goes wrong. If you don't think the same logic applies to a marrage that's cool. Go ahead and flip a coin though because 50/50 is the best odds you are going to get in a marrage and that's without being in the military.