GF...keep her or send her home?

[bennett4362]

is it just me, or is anyone else having a hard time following saltpepper's threads?

first he swings to the right, then to the left, now back to the right!

 

[Cate]

Bennett, I think it's safe to assume that the guy who chooses "saltpeter" as a screen name has some serious woman issues.

 

[Brett327]

Ahhh. Ladies, ladies, ladies. I'm glad my sentiment has elicited such a viceral reaction from you - so much the better. I'll attempt to address some of your concerns. I appreciate the fact that there are some couples that can handle the stress of one member going through flight school, but since I'm "speaking" to a broad audience, I would be criminally remiss if I failed to emphasize that these are the exceptions which prove the rule. For a young man (or woman) who is going through a very challenging experience so as to establish a career and a dream, relationships and love interests should not be the priority. Sure, it sounds (and is) selfish, but these are the difficult choices people have to make so they can be successful. Why is it that a man must be "bitter" just because he puts his career first? Wishing for a life of success at the expense of short term love interests doesn't make men bitter - just realistic. I also understand that some women may feel frustrated in subordinating their own careers to their men's - believe me, I'm sympathetic. Just keep things in perspective, ladies, that is a choice that YOU make and no one is forcing you to do that. If you find that that role is not for you, then maybe it's time to reexamine your own priorities, but, the next time you're feeling bitter about it, take a look in the mirror before you blame your man. I'm sure the logic of what I've stated will fall on deaf ears for the most part and will likely be hugely offensive to some, but I hope it will be a service to the other men reading this who may be facing similar situations.

More pontification upon request

Brett

 

[HAL Pilot]

You're gonna get me in trouble with my wife saying things like that .....

Only if those A4 EPs include airstarts.....

 

[Schnugg]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fred
..... I knew ......the emergency procedures for A4's like the back of my hand at one time.

You're gonna get me in trouble with my wife saying things like that .....

Such as:
When in trouble, pull the RAT, land ASAP, go home...squeeze limes....

 

[powder]

Again:

WOMEN WEAKEN LEGS!

 

[Minnie]

Ok, I can't take it anymore! I have got to be the lone dissenting female in this group. I at least recognize that women don't stop being women just because they "understand" what you are going through.

The answer is simple, if this is not the first manifestation of her dependence on you - kick her to the curb and do it in a hurry (or at least send her away for heaven's sake). If this is an isolated incident, a momentary lapse of hormonal judgement, then have a conversation with her, make her understand and then send her away

 

[gregsivers]

Ok, I can't take it anymore! I have got to be the lone dissenting female in this group. I at least recognize that women don't stop being women just because they "understand" what you are going through.

The answer is simple, if this is not the first manifestation of her dependence on you - kick her to the curb and do it in a hurry (or at least send her away for heaven's sake). If this is an isolated incident, a momentary lapse of hormonal judgement, then have a conversation with her, make her understand and then send her away

Finally!!! One that sees the light. :icon_smil

 

[Brandi]

For an aiside, as a married man who has never strayed, the keys to a healthy relationship are simple. 1.) Boys/Girls night out is not acceptable (most everyone today think it is OK, and then worries whether the other half is fooling around) 2.) On deployment stay out of the bars and the same goes for the other person that's at home (yes, relationships are about sacrifice, newsflash) [/QUOTE]


Saltpeter...THAT IS the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard!!!!!!!(Coming from a married woman who has never strayed.)

 

[Brandi]

Minnie....thats a pathetic attempt to try and fit in with the guys!! Whose side are you on anyway. You are a woman too!!!

 

[A4sForever]

I'm not qualified to comment as I'm OLD and a dinosaur, BUT:

This ain't about men/women, caring/sharing, tender moments .... it's about getting through Primary Flight School. Repeat: Primary Flight School.

Either your companion supports you or he/she doesn't. It's not hard ... it's not about psychology .... it's not about Ophra .... it could not be simpler ....

 

[TurbosaurusRex]

Just Choose

I'm not qualified to comment as I'm OLD and a dinosaur,...

Why's it gotta be about dinosaurs man?

Other than that, you're absolutely right. Most of your life it's going to be imperative that you give and take and compromise in a relationship. But Flight School is one of those rare times in your life when it's not only OK, but it's pretty damned mandatory that you be selfish.

She gets to be selfish when she's having a baby or getting cancer. If she can't understand this, then you've got to choose between her and the Naval career.

 

[A4sForever]

... Why's it gotta be about dinosaurs man?

Whatever is takes .... I see my disparagement of 'saurs and their ilk flushed you out of the closet. Welcome aboard, big lizard.

 

[skidkid]

I'm not qualified to comment as I'm OLD and a dinosaur, BUT:

This ain't about men/women, caring/sharing, tender moments .... it's about getting through Primary Flight School. Repeat: Primary Flight School.

Either your companion supports you or he/she doesn't. It's not hard ... it's not about psychology .... it's not about Ophra .... it could not be simpler ....

Concur, Flight school is an intrinsically different and defining moment in your life and will affect you FOREVER. If it is meant ot be you can get back together after you have wings or you can trade up at a later time (Notice I am giving this advice to one who is not married). I knew guys who couldnt ahve made it without their wives support but they already had strong realtionships going in. I was very happy to be single through training.

 

[zelda]

Wow, so much written here and all sorts of emotions and thoughts put out there on the table! I'm not sure if this has been answered already, but the first big questions that popped into my head were 1) Have you guys lived together much before she moved out? and 2) When the decision was made for her to spend the time out there, was there any planning done on how she would spend her summer and beyond?

So another female point of view to put on the table . I have definitely had the opportunity to move out with my bf during different stages of his training (he's in Advanced right now), but I have declined to do so every time. Call me independent, too conservative, crazy (who would want to be in a long-distance relationship if they didn't have to!), or even selfish, but it boiled down to my wanting to give my bf his time and space to study and focus (I certainly didn't want to be the reason he didn't get his studying in!) and for him to grant me the same respect and opportunity to make my own decisions. If the situation ever reached a not-so-cool period (and, trust me, it did), we talked about it. It wasn't easy, but it had to be done.

So I guess the only piece of advice for me to throw out there is for you guys to definitely be honest with each other and put things out there on the table. If there's a way to work through the various periods of your training and relationship, then go for it! If not, be happy for what you guys had while you were together, try to remain friends (if possible), and move on. :icon_smil

Ok, I gotta go home. Been looking at spreadsheets with numbers for way too long!

Isela