Well, a large portion of a class should be in the bottom half of the class. About 50% sounds right!
Your experience is very accurate from what I have heard. You make great points that the college is not as holy as people think it is. I've said this before in another thread: history books about the USNA show that it has been a crazy place, quite unlike what people come to imagine about it, and what you said in your post is exactly the same information that is in history books that I've read.
I will agree with you that if your goal is only academic and non-military and non-athletic, and you don't want to be yelled at by kids whose leadership experience ranges from some student government position in high school where they did nothing, the rest learned from upperclassman in the situation that you described, that's fine. But, for a lot of people who choose the USNA, it is the best choice for them. But it is not designed to be the best school to attend in the world for everybody; additionally, it is geared towards civilians. It is not surprising that you felt like you were treated like a baby at the USNA, while, to the civilian students, this treatment was very punishing. You also did not finish the college--it is said that those who do graduate do end up liking it, and have more freedoms as they progress year by year to that date. And, a large part of the anger could come from the negative events, like your sister's events (sorry), that you have come to associate with the college. Also, being asked "how was USNA" by everybody while taking care of your sister while being sad about the situation could also been associated with the college.
The good news is that in the past four years, the number of applicants has increased from 10,000 to 15,000, allowing for students with higher academical achievements to be chosen, and this means that athletes could be selected with even lower gpas since the college average would not be affected much, but anyway... Supposedly there is less crazyness now, more sleep, more singing, less harassment. As for real military officers--I wouldn't know where they are. If midshipmen learn from older midshipmen, and half of the faculty is civilian (which twice the rate of civilian faculty than any other service academy), then real military officers must be scarce from what you say.
Additionally, I would not be surprised if the academics are not so challenging for someone who is as mature and motivated as you coming into college. Additionally, the Navy HIRES the people who graduate from the USNA, so of course if you take Nuclear Engineering, for example, the college will help you all they can to make sure you know what you're doing.
Other colleges might be concerned with making sure only the top 10% get an A, while this college wants and needs everybody to succeed.
There are a lot of immature people who will and have been accepted to the USNA, and when you consider that they are now under crazy pressure, a lot will do crazy things.
I agree that the USNA might not be holy, but if it's easy, then I will do my best and have a good chance at the #1 spot, what's wrong with that!
Sorry to hear about your situation but hang in there and GL!