Married Pilots, need some advice...

[Fred]

When I was on the the JFK the CO (O-6) was a single guy. My last squadron's XO was single, so it is possible to make command being single.

I know several squadron XO/CO's who were single, but that's not a major command. Seems not being married becomes more of an “issue” for major command and Flag screening.

 

[robav8r]

People who chose the community thinking it was the "best" and "easiest" choice for their home life have mentioned that they were greatly mistaken, and many of them are jaded- more so then the norm. Why are these people joining the Navy then? Especially Naval Aviation? If you want a good "home life" become an accountant.
The previous point about long working hours was spot on. 6 day work weeks (and sometimes 7 depending on Mx, plane availability and readiness/training requirements) seem to be normal. Concur. The A/C and demands of MPRA require it. Members of the wardroom look forward to deployment as a break from the grind of the last six months of homecycle (where they are getting hit with surge, ORE and ARP on top of everything else). Absolutely, because deployment is where the "fun" is - you know the "flying" and "real-world" missions. On paper we have a 18month homecycle. However when you throw in a surge period = flying. (or more when your squadron has to pick up the slack for another squadron) = even more flying, you will be gone a lot more (each surge period brings most crewsone or two 6-8 week trips to augment deployed squadrons). That also doesnt include normal dets that squadrons have to provide crews for (RIMPAC, Valient Shield, CSG workups etc). Holy shit, you mean we get to fly even more ??? I don't think that our community has it harder then any other community- just don't look at P-3s as an easy answer for what you want. I advise you to pick a platform/community because it is what YOU want for yourself and not anyone else. If you do that and are happy where you work then the other pieces should fall into place.

Zippy is correct here, but why are we jumping head-first down this rabbit hole of "what's best for my home life?" We're at war with lots of aging airframes and increased demands on our people (ourselves included) and we don't have the option of failure here.

out . . . .

 

[A4sForever]

I know several squadron XO/CO's who were single, but that's not a major command. Seems not being married becomes more of an “issue” for major command and Flag screening.

How times change. I knew none. "In the old days" ... not one, not even ONE of the CO/XO's in any of my communities -- A-6/A-4/EA-6 -- were single -- a few were divorced/remarried, to be sure, and a couple of department heads were single -- like ... 3-4 out of many, many squadrons. And they were considered .... "odd".

It was the same in the TRACOM when I went through.

By the way ... as far as "being home" and NOT being in a P-3 squadron ... for comparison purposes ...during one 5+ year stretch, I was physically home, i.e., "sleeping in my own bed" for 18 months -- scattered throughout the time. 18 months --total.

But then -- we usually tried to fly as much as possible and let Mama handle the checkbook. It seems like there weren't as many divorces then as now, either -- but I'm probably just hallucinating.

 

[FlybyWired06]

Zippy,

Your post just reaffirms all that's been said in this forum. It's obvious now that the community you choose should NOT be hinged upon it's affect upon your family. Moreover, robav8r has made it clear that regardless of your decision, as a Naval Aviator, hours will be long and family life will be stressed. I've known this would be the case and I "get it" now more than ever. As an SNA who put alot of thought into my career path, I've taken this all to heart and will keep it in mind when I fill out those "preferences" at the end of Primary...(repeat the mantra, "Choose what you want to fly.")

On a side note, if I ever find myself in the position as a CO/XO type with 15+ years of experience, I believe that the family life of those I'm appointed over will be of great concern to me. I believe that even a "nation at war" cannot afford to neglect the personal lives of its soldiers, sailors, and AV8Rs (!!). Their home lives (which seem to be disregarded by some posters on this thread) are the foundations upon which they develop their values and the bedrock upon which they stand and fight and cannot be disregarded when considering their effectiveness as Officers. I'm referring to both single and married Officers, neither is better than the other, both can be highly successful and effective leaders.

p.s. Accountants can have terrible hours too...ever heard of tax season? haha

 

[FlybyWired06]

I know several squadron XO/CO's who were single, but that's not a major command. Seems not being married becomes more of an “issue” for major command and Flag screening.

Just so you all know, I did not start this thread with the intention to debate whether or not married officers can achieve CO/Flag rank over single officers. In fact, my hope is that it doesn't matter whether or not the guy/gal is married and should solely depend upon their effectiveness as a leader (I'm young and naive like that). Ofcourse, whether or not that is the reality does make for a good debate, but it's not the reason for my original post. Moreover, how to measure the "effectiveness" of an officer as a leader is a whole 'nother bag of apples...on to the thread!

 

[Beans]

So what you're trying to say is the thread somehow took a route that was tangent to or completely unrelated to the original post? That's so strange. I don't think I've ever seen that before.:icon_wink

Just so you all know, I did not start this thread with the intention to debate whether or not married officers can achieve CO/Flag rank over single officers. In fact, my hope is that it doesn't matter whether or not the guy/gal is married and should solely depend upon their effectiveness as a leader (I'm young and naive like that). Ofcourse, whether or not that is the reality does make for a good debate, but it's not the reason for my original post. Moreover, how to measure the "effectiveness" of an officer as a leader is a whole 'nother bag of apples...on to the thread!

 

[A4sForever]

So what you're trying to say is the thread somehow took a route that was tangent to or completely unrelated to the original post? That's so strange. I don't think I've ever seen that before.:icon_wink

Are YOU trying to jack this thread???

Where's MBates when you NEED him .. ???

 

[zippy]

Rob, I've got no idea what the individuals in question had going on for a thought process, but a lot of them got married in TRACOM, before they fully understood the time commitments involved in the fleet. I like flying, and I'd rather be on the road doing something real world then at home on a TF any day of the week.

 

[MasterBates]

Where's MB when you need him?

I was working on my POS truck.

Marriage is for fools, women are whore and will take your money. So don't make career decisions based on the whims of a prostitiute.

Is that enough of a threadjack?

 

[robav8r]

Rob, I've got no idea what the individuals in question had going on for a thought process, but a lot of them got married in TRACOM, before they fully understood the time commitments involved in the fleet.

And their wives didn't/don't fully understand the commitments either - thats the root of the problem here (I think). Many have said it before, wait until flight school is over, you are in the fleet and have successfully completed your first deployment before you "pull the trigger" on marriage.

 

[A4sForever]

If you're going to be married: Do what I shoulda done when I was 22 .... marry an Admiral's daughter.

Your problems are over. Or just beginning.

Depends on your point of view ...

 

[MasterBates]

And their wives didn't/don't fully understand the commitments either - thats the root of the problem here (I think). Many have said it before, wait until flight school is over, you are in the fleet and have successfully completed your first deployment before you "pull the trigger" on marriage.

All ENS/JG 2lt/1lt read & heed.

If she is worth it, she will wait and understand. If a woman is pushing you for marriage beofore YOU are ready, or if you are pvssy whipped into it, make her wait. If she bails, she was not the one for you. If she understands, waits, deals with the deployment cylce OK, and is still there (and was faithful when you get back) THEN consider marriage.

Before that, is just asking to get butt-raped in court like I did, IMHO.

Learn from mine and others mistakes. Don't repeat them yourself.

 

[FlybyWired06]

I was working on my POS truck.

Marriage is for fools, women are whore and will take your money. So don't make career decisions based on the whims of a prostitiute.

Is that enough of a threadjack?

Sooooo, that's how you spell disgruntled...D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D

 

[MasterBates]

You laugh. When you pay 1/2 your pay to her, don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, and I also beleive that women gaining 140 pounds should be grounds for an alimony free divorce, but that's just me. And I am an A-hole. Just ask my ex wife.

 

[bunk22]

Oh, and I also beleive that women gaining 140 pounds should be grounds for an alimony free divorce, but that's just me. And I am an A-hole. Just ask my ex wife.

That's not law? It f$%&ing should be!!