I think this is a great thread... I think it is beneficial to discuss effective 'relationship management' in the context of a career as a naval officer. In all reality, having a relationship can greatly affect ones future and career in the navy. In light of that, I think this thread deserves as many insightful posts as possible!
To give my .02... I think there are many women out there that simply aren't 'built' for the military lifestyle. Some want and need the 24/7 attention, and simply can't live without it. These are the ones that can't hack a relationship with a military man. This can be for many reasons; insecurity being one of them.
Regardless, as was said, if she can't handle OCS, how in the hell is she going to handle a deployment?
It seems important (at least from my perspective) to draw a clear line in the sand regarding how much you put in to a relationship at this point in your training. I think it is fine to be in a healthy relationship while in training and what not, but be careful how much (emotional energy, and effort) you dump in to it.
I say do what you want. If you have the time to reconcile and you want to try and make things work, I don't see why it would be unacceptable to do so. However as soon as this effort (that you are putting in to it) starts to even come close to affecting your training (it can do so in several ways; stress, emotional instability, sleep deprivation, etc etc), you are crossing the line.
I think its safe to say that you are held to very high performance standards in the next couple years. And that your performance in this period will have a lasting impact on the rest of your life. Don't even think about letting a girl like this negatively affect your future..