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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

FormerRecruitingGuru

Making Recruiting Great Again
Should I just remove the Alexander the Great story? I wanted a quick example to show that I understand what being a leader in a difficult situation entails.

View attachment 42919

Odds are the board isn’t going to read your statement, especially for SWO.

With that said, don’t add random quotes and stories, just say “this is why I am excited to become a SWO and this is what I bring to the table.”
 

exNavyOffRec

Well-Known Member
Thank you for everybody's advice. It makes a lot more sense now what I need to do. I wasn't entirely sure what they were looking for.
If you don't have a non-medical waiver very high odds the only one reading that motivational statement is you. The 3 designators that blow through each application in about a minute are SWO, SNA, and SNFO.
 

Apin0531

New Member
Hello everyone!! This is just a draft of my motiv statement, please let me know what i can improve on or whatnot, I'd truly appreciate it!

GPA: 3.11
Applying for SCO and Intel

(also while im at it, is it true we can only apply for two jobs now??)

Officer Selection Board,

Since childhood, I’ve lived and breathed the military lifestyle. My father, a dedicated Army veteran, and my mother, an active-duty E6 in the Navy, set a strong example of service, sacrifice, and resilience. Growing up in a military household meant understanding early on the value of commitment and the cost of freedom. I’ve seen firsthand what it means to serve, not just in uniform, but in character. These experiences cultivated in me a deep sense of patriotism and responsibility to give back to the country that has provided me and my family the American Dream, including all it’s opportunities, structures, and purposes.

With three other relatives also serving in the Navy and Air Force, military service is not only a legacy, it’s a calling. From a young age, I felt a deep desire to carry that legacy forward in my own way. I started my leadership journey through NJROTC and later AFJROTC, where I learned how to lead with humility, communicate with integrity, and work with people from diverse backgrounds. When my family was stationed in Misawa, Japan, I took pride in continuing that path even in a new environment. These formative years not only deepened my understanding of what it takes to lead, but also taught me the importance of flexibility, teamwork, and empathy.

In college, I joined AFROTC and carried those lessons with me, but eventually made the decision to focus on completing my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from California State University, Fresno. Studying psychology helped me understand people and the complex factors that shape behavior, motivation, and morale. I believe this gives me a unique edge in leadership, especially in high-stakes or high-stress environments where emotional intelligence, cultural awareness, and clear decision-making are critical.

I am pursuing a commission in the United States Navy because I want to serve with purpose and to grow into the kind of leader who not only gets the job done but uplifts those around them. I am particularly drawn to the roles of Supply Corps Officer and Intelligence Officer. As a Supply Officer, I’d be proud to ensure that our forces are logistically supported and mission-ready, a responsibility that requires precision, problem-solving, and integrity. As an Intelligence Officer, I am excited by the opportunity to synthesize information, anticipate threats, and support strategic decision-making in an ever-evolving global landscape. Both paths speak to my strengths: analytical thinking, adaptability, and a deep desire to contribute behind the scenes in a meaningful way.

My personal values, self-development, family, and positive influence, guide everything I do. I strive every day to be a better version of myself, to honor the sacrifices my family made before me, and to be someone my sailors and peers can depend on. I want to be the kind of officer who leads by example, builds trust through action, and inspires excellence in others both formally and informally. The Navy’s core values of honor, courage, and commitment deeply resonate with me, and I am fully prepared to embody them in everything I do as a Naval Officer.

In applying to Officer Candidate School, I am not just asking for a job or a rank, I am asking for the opportunity to serve with integrity, grow as a leader, and be part of something greater than myself. I am ready to step forward, serve with pride, and carry on my family’s legacy, not just in name, but in action.
 
This is my revised version, any last thoughts before I submit it along with the rest of my packet? I'm a bit worried about my LOR as I have two from professors, and only one from a former Army Captain:

Having spent years helping sculpt young minds as a teacher, I understand the importance of strong and capable leadership in building and protecting the future of this great country. To me serving my country means giving up many of the comforts that I
take for granted, and take the oath to protect the United States of America and its citizens. I strongly believe that the values that we uphold and are the bedrocks of our society should be preserved and defended not just at home but also abroad. As a Surface Warfare Officer, I would be privileged to know that the qualities I would contribute would be part of the greater mission of fighting for the free world.

To be a member of the Surface Warfare community is to learn to be a leader that excels in a high tempo operation environment where my ability as a leader will be tested during tasks such as leading sailors or coordinating operations on the high seas. Ever since I was a child I have always looked up to great leaders from times past such as Teddy Roosevelt and Eisenhower. After spending time as a teacher, I realized that my strength as a leader comes from my ability to sit down and have conversations and to ensure that I am meeting my responsibilities as a leader and the other person is meeting their responsibilities as a subordinate. A mission order would come from the top, and it would be my job as a junior officer to carry out those orders and maintain a chain of command. If there is something that a subordinate wants to let me know about, then I will absolutely listen to what they have to say and respond appropriately. I believe that with my leadership abilities, I will be able to play my small part in the greater purpose of the Navy.

The opportunity to become a Surface Warfare Officer would enable me to serve this great country in a leadership position where I lead sailors in a high stake environment. It will not always be an easy day, I expect that more than once in my career there will be difficult situations where my leadership abilities are being put to the test. One of the core values of the Navy is commitment, if I am to expect the sailors to respect me and the chain of command then I must also play my part in treating them with dignity and respect.

My goal is to develop into a naval leader who can bring both the level headed communication and patience of a teacher and the problem solving qualities that I learned as a Computer Science major to serve the missions of the Navy. I plan on coming to the Navy along with a willingness to learn new skills. If selected, I see myself becoming a stronger and more effective leader. The values of the Navy, and the SWO community align with my own personal values, and I am prepared to honorably serve as an officer of the fleet.
 

Apin0531

New Member
Hello Everyone, I had previosuly sent a draft of my motiv. statement here and here is a much improved one. Please tear it apart how you will, I would love any type of feedback for improvement:

To the Officer Selection Board,

My name is [NAME], and I am seeking a commission in the United States Navy as a Supply Corps Officer. As someone raised in a multi-branch military family, I grew up understanding early on the value of commitment and the cost of freedom. I’ve seen firsthand what it means to serve, not just in uniform, but in character. And these experiences instilled in me a deep sense of patriotism and responsibility to give back to the country that has provided my family and me the American Dream, with all its opportunities, structures, and purpose. My upbringing, academic background, and leadership training have all shaped me into a candidate ready to contribute meaningfully to the mission of the Navy.

I am driven by four core ambitions: to serve my country with pride, grow continuously through personal and professional development, inspire the next generation of leaders, and experience the world while contributing to a greater purpose. My father, an Army veteran, and my mother, an active-duty Navy E6, taught me through example the importance of discipline, accountability, and resilience. These values were reinforced through my participation in NJROTC and AFJROTC during high school, and later in AFROTC during college.

While in ROTC in college, I had the unique opportunity to serve as Cadet Wing Commander during my sophomore year, an early and humbling experience in leadership. Leading the entire detachment for a week gave me a deeper understanding of the weight of responsibility and the trust others place in their leaders. I collaborated with a team of selected peers and senior cadets to design a lesson that emphasized followership, leadership, and teamwork. The goal was for both senior and newer cadets to demonstrate effective team leadership while breaking down the barriers between the two groups.

Serving as Cadet Wing Commander gave me the opportunity to reflect on both my personal development and the needs of our detachment. While I was often recognized for being quiet and approachable, I demonstrated the ability to shift quickly into a focused, mission-oriented mindset when leadership demanded it. The experience taught me the significance of accountability and the importance of being a leader others can rely on. I pursued that position not just to challenge myself, but to show that I could lead with both discipline and empathy. I discovered that strong relationships are foundational to effective leadership, and that being heard and understood matters just as much as being competent.

This year, I earned my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from California State University, Fresno, where I developed a strong foundation in human behavior, communication, and observational skills. I believe these are vital traits for the Supply Corps, which demands precision, integrity, and efficient coordination of resources. I understand the importance of mission readiness, logistical accountability, and supporting our warfighters, roles I am eager to embrace and take responsibility for. My experiences have prepared me to lead diverse teams, manage complex operations, and make sound decisions under pressure.

I am pursuing a commission not just for the opportunity to serve, but to grow into a leader who embodies the Navy’s core values of honor, courage, and commitment. I am ready to serve with purpose, represent my family and country with pride, and be an asset to the Navy’s mission. I respectfully ask for your consideration and the opportunity to earn my place among the ranks of Navy Officers.
 
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