• Please take a moment and update your account profile. If you have an updated account profile with basic information on why you are on Air Warriors it will help other people respond to your posts. How do you update your profile you ask?

    Go here:

    Edit Account Details and Profile

Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

FormerRecruitingGuru

FormerRecruitingGuru

Making Recruiting Great Again
huntmaster_of_the_fells said:
Should I just remove the Alexander the Great story? I wanted a quick example to show that I understand what being a leader in a difficult situation entails.

View attachment 42919
Click to expand...

Odds are the board isn’t going to read your statement, especially for SWO.

With that said, don’t add random quotes and stories, just say “this is why I am excited to become a SWO and this is what I bring to the table.”
 
A

Apin0531

New Member
Hello everyone!! This is just a draft of my motiv statement, please let me know what i can improve on or whatnot, I'd truly appreciate it!

GPA: 3.11
Applying for SCO and Intel

(also while im at it, is it true we can only apply for two jobs now??)

Officer Selection Board,

Since childhood, I’ve lived and breathed the military lifestyle. My father, a dedicated Army veteran, and my mother, an active-duty E6 in the Navy, set a strong example of service, sacrifice, and resilience. Growing up in a military household meant understanding early on the value of commitment and the cost of freedom. I’ve seen firsthand what it means to serve, not just in uniform, but in character. These experiences cultivated in me a deep sense of patriotism and responsibility to give back to the country that has provided me and my family the American Dream, including all it’s opportunities, structures, and purposes.

With three other relatives also serving in the Navy and Air Force, military service is not only a legacy, it’s a calling. From a young age, I felt a deep desire to carry that legacy forward in my own way. I started my leadership journey through NJROTC and later AFJROTC, where I learned how to lead with humility, communicate with integrity, and work with people from diverse backgrounds. When my family was stationed in Misawa, Japan, I took pride in continuing that path even in a new environment. These formative years not only deepened my understanding of what it takes to lead, but also taught me the importance of flexibility, teamwork, and empathy.

In college, I joined AFROTC and carried those lessons with me, but eventually made the decision to focus on completing my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from California State University, Fresno. Studying psychology helped me understand people and the complex factors that shape behavior, motivation, and morale. I believe this gives me a unique edge in leadership, especially in high-stakes or high-stress environments where emotional intelligence, cultural awareness, and clear decision-making are critical.

I am pursuing a commission in the United States Navy because I want to serve with purpose and to grow into the kind of leader who not only gets the job done but uplifts those around them. I am particularly drawn to the roles of Supply Corps Officer and Intelligence Officer. As a Supply Officer, I’d be proud to ensure that our forces are logistically supported and mission-ready, a responsibility that requires precision, problem-solving, and integrity. As an Intelligence Officer, I am excited by the opportunity to synthesize information, anticipate threats, and support strategic decision-making in an ever-evolving global landscape. Both paths speak to my strengths: analytical thinking, adaptability, and a deep desire to contribute behind the scenes in a meaningful way.

My personal values, self-development, family, and positive influence, guide everything I do. I strive every day to be a better version of myself, to honor the sacrifices my family made before me, and to be someone my sailors and peers can depend on. I want to be the kind of officer who leads by example, builds trust through action, and inspires excellence in others both formally and informally. The Navy’s core values of honor, courage, and commitment deeply resonate with me, and I am fully prepared to embody them in everything I do as a Naval Officer.

In applying to Officer Candidate School, I am not just asking for a job or a rank, I am asking for the opportunity to serve with integrity, grow as a leader, and be part of something greater than myself. I am ready to step forward, serve with pride, and carry on my family’s legacy, not just in name, but in action.
 
huntmaster_of_the_fells

huntmaster_of_the_fells

Member
This is my revised version, any last thoughts before I submit it along with the rest of my packet? I'm a bit worried about my LOR as I have two from professors, and only one from a former Army Captain:

Having spent years helping sculpt young minds as a teacher, I understand the importance of strong and capable leadership in building and protecting the future of this great country. To me serving my country means giving up many of the comforts that I
take for granted, and take the oath to protect the United States of America and its citizens. I strongly believe that the values that we uphold and are the bedrocks of our society should be preserved and defended not just at home but also abroad. As a Surface Warfare Officer, I would be privileged to know that the qualities I would contribute would be part of the greater mission of fighting for the free world.

To be a member of the Surface Warfare community is to learn to be a leader that excels in a high tempo operation environment where my ability as a leader will be tested during tasks such as leading sailors or coordinating operations on the high seas. Ever since I was a child I have always looked up to great leaders from times past such as Teddy Roosevelt and Eisenhower. After spending time as a teacher, I realized that my strength as a leader comes from my ability to sit down and have conversations and to ensure that I am meeting my responsibilities as a leader and the other person is meeting their responsibilities as a subordinate. A mission order would come from the top, and it would be my job as a junior officer to carry out those orders and maintain a chain of command. If there is something that a subordinate wants to let me know about, then I will absolutely listen to what they have to say and respond appropriately. I believe that with my leadership abilities, I will be able to play my small part in the greater purpose of the Navy.

The opportunity to become a Surface Warfare Officer would enable me to serve this great country in a leadership position where I lead sailors in a high stake environment. It will not always be an easy day, I expect that more than once in my career there will be difficult situations where my leadership abilities are being put to the test. One of the core values of the Navy is commitment, if I am to expect the sailors to respect me and the chain of command then I must also play my part in treating them with dignity and respect.

My goal is to develop into a naval leader who can bring both the level headed communication and patience of a teacher and the problem solving qualities that I learned as a Computer Science major to serve the missions of the Navy. I plan on coming to the Navy along with a willingness to learn new skills. If selected, I see myself becoming a stronger and more effective leader. The values of the Navy, and the SWO community align with my own personal values, and I am prepared to honorably serve as an officer of the fleet.
 
A

Apin0531

New Member
Hello Everyone, I had previosuly sent a draft of my motiv. statement here and here is a much improved one. Please tear it apart how you will, I would love any type of feedback for improvement:

To the Officer Selection Board,

My name is [NAME], and I am seeking a commission in the United States Navy as a Supply Corps Officer. As someone raised in a multi-branch military family, I grew up understanding early on the value of commitment and the cost of freedom. I’ve seen firsthand what it means to serve, not just in uniform, but in character. And these experiences instilled in me a deep sense of patriotism and responsibility to give back to the country that has provided my family and me the American Dream, with all its opportunities, structures, and purpose. My upbringing, academic background, and leadership training have all shaped me into a candidate ready to contribute meaningfully to the mission of the Navy.

I am driven by four core ambitions: to serve my country with pride, grow continuously through personal and professional development, inspire the next generation of leaders, and experience the world while contributing to a greater purpose. My father, an Army veteran, and my mother, an active-duty Navy E6, taught me through example the importance of discipline, accountability, and resilience. These values were reinforced through my participation in NJROTC and AFJROTC during high school, and later in AFROTC during college.

While in ROTC in college, I had the unique opportunity to serve as Cadet Wing Commander during my sophomore year, an early and humbling experience in leadership. Leading the entire detachment for a week gave me a deeper understanding of the weight of responsibility and the trust others place in their leaders. I collaborated with a team of selected peers and senior cadets to design a lesson that emphasized followership, leadership, and teamwork. The goal was for both senior and newer cadets to demonstrate effective team leadership while breaking down the barriers between the two groups.

Serving as Cadet Wing Commander gave me the opportunity to reflect on both my personal development and the needs of our detachment. While I was often recognized for being quiet and approachable, I demonstrated the ability to shift quickly into a focused, mission-oriented mindset when leadership demanded it. The experience taught me the significance of accountability and the importance of being a leader others can rely on. I pursued that position not just to challenge myself, but to show that I could lead with both discipline and empathy. I discovered that strong relationships are foundational to effective leadership, and that being heard and understood matters just as much as being competent.

This year, I earned my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from California State University, Fresno, where I developed a strong foundation in human behavior, communication, and observational skills. I believe these are vital traits for the Supply Corps, which demands precision, integrity, and efficient coordination of resources. I understand the importance of mission readiness, logistical accountability, and supporting our warfighters, roles I am eager to embrace and take responsibility for. My experiences have prepared me to lead diverse teams, manage complex operations, and make sound decisions under pressure.

I am pursuing a commission not just for the opportunity to serve, but to grow into a leader who embodies the Navy’s core values of honor, courage, and commitment. I am ready to serve with purpose, represent my family and country with pride, and be an asset to the Navy’s mission. I respectfully ask for your consideration and the opportunity to earn my place among the ranks of Navy Officers.
 
S

Sealard

New Member
Hi I am applying for HPSP under the navy branch. Currently just graduated with B.S. in Biological sciences, in the 2025-2026 dental school application cycle. Here is my motivation statement, open for feedbacks!

I am applying to the Navy Health Professions Scholarship Program because I want to serve as a naval officer committed to the health and readiness of our forces. Dentistry is the specialty through which I will contribute, but my primary objective is to support the mission of the United States Navy with leadership, discipline, and commitment.

As President of the TriBeta National Biology Honor Society, I led a chapter of more than sixty members and coordinated outreach trips to local elementary schools, where we introduced young students to science through hands-on activities and mentorship. Beyond planning and executing events, I focused on building sustainable systems for the future. I set down the organizational fundamentals that allowed the next generation of officers to succeed, ensuring continuity and growth beyond my term. This experience reinforced the importance of not only leading in the moment but also preparing others to carry the mission forward.

My research background further developed my discipline and teamwork. I collaborated on two projects investigating environmental stress responses in insects, coordinating with a team of six researchers to complete experiments under strict timelines. I presented our findings at university symposiums, sharpening my ability to communicate technical material clearly and effectively. The precision required in dissections and injections honed my fine motor control, while the teamwork demanded adaptability and problem-solving — traits critical to both dentistry and military service.

I have also demonstrated initiative in building organizations from the ground up. I founded a modeling clay club that grew to over fifty members in its first year, organizing biweekly sessions that provided students with a creative outlet during demanding academic schedules. Starting and sustaining this organization required planning, resource management, and the ability to maintain momentum which are parallel to skills necessary for leading teams and supporting operational readiness in the Navy.

In addition to leadership, I have gained practical experience in clinical operations. As a receptionist at the only orthodontic practice on Kauai, I manage scheduling for hundreds of patients every month, verify insurance coverage, and coordinate daily operations for the practice. This role requires efficiency, attention to detail, and strong communication skills to keep the clinic running smoothly. These same qualities are critical in ensuring mission success in the fast-paced environment of military healthcare. My dental shadowing, totaling over 200 hours, has reinforced the importance of preventive care and patient trust, both of which are essential to maintaining the health and readiness of service members.

Through the HPSP, I will gain the training necessary to deliver high-quality care in service of Sailors and Marines, but my responsibility extends beyond clinical practice. I am committed to leading with integrity, building cohesive teams, and ensuring that the health and readiness of our forces remain uncompromised. My priority is to serve the Navy and its mission, and I am ready to dedicate my skills and leadership to that end.
 
F

FTM1991

New Member
Good afternoon, everyone. I am applying to the Navy Supply Corps Officer program and have a second draft of my motivational letter I would like to run by this community. I have a 50 OAR and an MBA, thus qualifying for I-SEL. I know it has been stated that because it is I-SEL, the letter is not as improtant, but still would like any feedback you can offer as I have no one close with a military background that can offer feedback from that perspective. Thank you for any help.
-
Honor. Commitment. Courage. The core principles of the United States Navy that have been held since its inception in 1775. As a father of two young boys, these are principles I try to embody and act upon daily to serve as an example for what kind of men I hope my boys will grow up to be. To have honor in everything they do, to work respectfully with others, and to do what is right even when it is not easy. It is in pursuit of continuing to demonstrate and develop these principles in my two boys that I seek to commission into the United States Navy and to be part of an organization that has these values embedded in everything it does. It is for my two boys that I seek to join the United States Navy as a Supply Corps Officer.

My professional and personal life have hardly been linear. I have been to law school. I chose to study my MBA at IPADE Business School in Mexico City, a metropolis I had never visited before arriving. I met my wife in Finland while living and studying abroad in Helsinki. I was expatriated to Lima, Peru for work but ultimately decided that it was better for my family to instead stay in Mexico. In Mexico, my family and I have lived in three different cities in six years. Through these experiences, I have always tried to take the best of each one, whether positive or negative, to grow and learn. I have learned that during tumultuous circumstances, it is important to always be true to one’s core values and principles so they may always guide you when the future is unknown. The Navy’s principles of honor, commitment, and courage have always been fundamental in my decision making, even though at the time I was unaware they aligned perfectly with the Navy’s ethos. To always have the moral fortitude to make the right decision when faced with uncertainty and to be committed to my family and act with their best interests at heart. These personal guiding principles have helped me navigate the many uncertain futures I have faced and have aided me in being proud of knowing I always took the best decision I could at the time. And it is these lessons that I seek to demonstrate and impress upon my two young boys. To act courageously and with honor in the face of unexpected and turbulent external circumstances. To be committed to themselves, to family, to country, and to God so that they may push forward in a way that leaves this world a better place than how they found it.

My professional career has robustly prepared me to be an asset to the United States Navy as a Supply Corps Officer. For the past seven years, my career has focused on logistics and warehousing, leading teams as big as 700 people across warehouses spread throughout multiple regions and working with colleagues from all over the world. In a leadership role, I have launched multiple warehouses, been responsible for inventory in tens of millions of dollars, developed KPI’s and OKR’s to better track and improve efficiency, and developed the new generation of leaders in the various companies I have worked with to prepare the companies for the future. With both a financial and operational focus, I have a unique perspective on tackling problems analytically while simultaneously assuring the required actions can be implemented in a manner that is easy to understand and execute. In all my leadership roles, I have always permeated the importance of acting honorably, ethically, and systematically. This has helped me immensely in my professional career many times, as particularly in logistics, a leader is forced to make critical decisions without all the information and without the luxury of time to dive further into the data to make a more informed decision. In those situations, it is important to trust that your moral compass and character will allow you to make the best decision. Because my moral compass and character are so deeply ingrained into the man I want my boys to see, I can honestly and proudly say I have never veered from those core principles and would continue to do so as a United States Navy Supply Corps Officer.

I can think of no greater honor than being able to continue to demonstrate the core principles of courage, honor, and commitment I hope to instill in my boys in a profession and organization that permeates these values in everything they do. It is for this reason that I respectfully and humbly ask for your consideration to become a United States Navy Supply Corps Officer.
 
C

CrypticChan135

New Member
Hey everyone, I am applying for Information Professional and MCWO:
GPA: 4.0 (Cybersecurity)
Prior Enlisted Operation Specialist 2nd Class
OAR: 48 (requires waiver)

Statement:
My name is __________, and I am seeking a commission in the United States Navy as an Information Professional Officer. I believe that a successful Navy Officer displays and balances leadership, approachability, integrity, dedication, and mission readiness; all traits which align to the Navy core values. Shortly after I graduated high school in 2017 at eighteen years old, I became quickly accustomed to the importance of upholding these core values and standards, as just months afterward, I found myself in the middle of enlisted basic training. My time as an enlisted sailor tested my resilience like never before, instilling discipline, leadership, teamwork, and commitment that will make me an excellent Officer candidate.

As an Operation Specialist Second Class, I quickly became an underway watch supervisor, a position that not only required me to be a subject matter expert in my rate, but also an example for my junior sailors. I was responsible for updating, coordinating with, and reporting to the Officer of the Deck and Tactical Action Officer, as well as drafting and routing daily operational reports to senior officers, and ensuring my watch teams were trained, diligent, and efficient.

When in port, I was my division’s training petty officer, which required me to assign, update, track, and route sailor qualifications for over 25 sailors. I also coordinated weekly divisional and departmental trainings in accordance with Navy instruction. These experiences allowed me to harness my dedication, leadership, ability to stay collected under pressure and support a culture of mission-readiness; all traits that make a strong Officer.

After my five-year enlisted contract, I was honorably discharged and decided to use my G.I. Bill to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Cybersecurity full-time at ___________, where I graduated with Summa Cum Laude honors, a 4.0 GPA, and second in my class in just three years. I was also one of four students nominated by the faculty to receive an “Outstanding Senior” award, which was awarded for my academic excellence and leadership potential. While attending ______, I had the opportunity to work as a Cybersecurity Consultant Intern through the Coastal Virginia Commonwealth Cyber Initiative (CoVA CCI). In this internship, I led a team of two other students in assisting a local accounting firm with implementing IT/Cybersecurity policies, training, and strategies to best protect their business from threats. This internship allowed me to build upon my leadership and communication skills, while also allowing me to tap into my technical knowledge in scenarios outside of the classroom. I am confident that these academic accomplishments and internship experience speak to my level of unwavering commitment, work ethic, and technical knowledge.

Although these experiences outside of the Navy were integral to my development as a professional, my desire to serve never wavered. Becoming an officer represents the next step in my commitment to service: to lead from the front, uphold the Navy Core values to the highest degree, and dedicate myself once more to the Navy’s mission.
 
Last edited:
N

number9

Well-Known Member
Contributor
CrypticChan135 said:
Hey everyone, I am applying for Information Professional and MCWO:
GPA: 4.0 (Cybersecurity)
Prior Enlisted Operation Specialist 2nd Class
OAR: 48 (requires waiver)

Statement:
My name is __________, and I am seeking a commission in the United States Navy as an Information Professional Officer. I believe that a successful Navy Officer displays and balances leadership, approachability, integrity, dedication, and mission readiness; all traits which align to the Navy core values. Shortly after I graduated high school in 2017 at eighteen years old, I became quickly accustomed to the importance of upholding these core values and standards, as just months afterward, I found myself in the middle of enlisted basic training. My time as an enlisted sailor tested my resilience like never before, instilling discipline, leadership, teamwork, and commitment that will make me an excellent Officer candidate.

As an Operation Specialist Second Class, I quickly became an underway watch supervisor, a position that not only required me to be a subject matter expert in my rate, but also an example for my junior sailors. I was responsible for updating, coordinating with, and reporting to the Officer of the Deck and Tactical Action Officer, as well as drafting and routing daily operational reports to senior officers, and ensuring my watch teams were trained, diligent, and efficient.

When in port, I was my division’s training petty officer, which required me to assign, update, track, and route sailor qualifications for over 25 sailors. I also coordinated weekly divisional and departmental trainings in accordance with Navy instruction. These experiences allowed me to harness my dedication, leadership, ability to stay collected under pressure and support a culture of mission-readiness; all traits that make a strong Officer.

After my five-year enlisted contract, I was honorably discharged and decided to use my G.I. Bill to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Cybersecurity full-time at ___________, where I graduated with Summa Cum Laude honors, a 4.0 GPA, and second in my class in just three years. I was also one of four students nominated by the faculty to receive an “Outstanding Senior” award, which was awarded for my academic excellence and leadership potential. While attending ______, I had the opportunity to work as a Cybersecurity Consultant Intern through the Coastal Virginia Commonwealth Cyber Initiative (CoVA CCI). In this internship, I led a team of two other students in assisting a local accounting firm with implementing IT/Cybersecurity policies, training, and strategies to best protect their business from threats. This internship allowed me to build upon my leadership and communication skills, while also allowing me to tap into my technical knowledge in scenarios outside of the classroom. I am confident that these academic accomplishments and internship experience speak to my level of unwavering commitment, work ethic, and technical knowledge.

Although these experiences outside of the Navy were integral to my development as a professional, my desire to serve never wavered. Becoming an officer represents the next step in my commitment to service: to lead from the front, uphold the Navy Core values to the highest degree, and dedicate myself once more to the Navy’s mission.
Click to expand...
A few random thoughts:

You don't need to write your name - they'll see that. If you're applying for two designators, I'd change "Information Professional Officer" to "Information Warfare Officer" or something more generic. I'd hate for a MCWO officer to get read your letter, see that you want IP, and toss it.

You don't need to say how old you are when you graduated. After you graduated but before you enlisted, how did you uphold the core values? You might want to just ditch that part. I'd add something at the end of the 2nd paragraph to say why you think you'll be a good JO, i.e. how you'll use those skills/characteristics to succeed. (Hint: you might want to talk about leading sailors.)

I don't think the 3rd paragraph offers much value. You talk about your time as an OS2, but there's not a lot of relevance there to MCWO or IP. What's the takeaway for the person reviewing your letter? If you were an IS or an IT, sure, that would make sense.

In the 4th paragraph, get rid of "decided". This paragraph is what makes you stand out from the pack, IMHO. In the 2nd half of the paragraph, try to talk about how those achievements (which are impressive!) will make you a good JO. The Navy wants you to lead sailors, not [just] to have been a very good student in college.

In the final paragraph, I'd add another "so what" that links what you've done and/or the core values to why you think (or why they will think) you'll be a good officer.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top