I think your statement is good, it gives a good sense of self. My only critique is this paragraph. The last sentence is good (although saying only "some" is perhaps a bit negative), but I feel most of it is generic. Focus a little more on what leadership means TO YOU, and why you want the challenge. In mine I said something very similar, but i focused on the challenges of leadership and how I wanted to embrace that challenge in order to become a naval officer. The biggest thing they want from this is to get to know you better, and if you focus on that a little more, you'll have a killer statement.
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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread
- Thread starter FSF17
- Start date
just a couple things from me:
1. Your intro is good, but you should clarify what you're applying for. Do that in the first couple of sentences. Best if you can tie that primary reason into why you want the role.
2. Go a little bit harder into why you feel the way you do about leadership. one of the primary things they want to see is that you can be a good leader.
3. To piggyback off the last point, it might be helpful to include how you believe the navy will help you become a better person, a better leader etc. and what you think that person will look like.
CoMa
Member
Thank you so much for the criticism. I was worried for a moment that no one was going to respond so I really appreciate it. I will definitely get to fixing that section and inputting what you suggested!
This is a very quick question-
The application says to "Limit your statement for each section below to between 200 and 250 words", followed by 4 parts (reason for applying, goals, strengths/other info). Does that mean I get 1000 words (250 each), or the entire statement is up to 250 words? Because my team has gotten a LOT of different answers.
The application says to "Limit your statement for each section below to between 200 and 250 words", followed by 4 parts (reason for applying, goals, strengths/other info). Does that mean I get 1000 words (250 each), or the entire statement is up to 250 words? Because my team has gotten a LOT of different answers.
I was told to keep mine to a page in length. My entire statement was 631 words so if they really wanted 250 I'm sure mine would've been thrown out
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
Aviation boards rarely if ever look at the motivational statements, it is all about the ASTB scores which is a key indicator of if a person will make it through the pipeline. Probably the only person read your statement is you.
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
General comments on both of these.
-The board does not care about what your family did.
-The board does not care about what your motivation is.
-The board does not what hurdles you had to overcome to get to this point, I have straight up have had a few different board member tell me "everyone has a sob story, we don't care"
-The board does want to know about what you can do for the USN.
-The board does want to know what leadership skills you have.
-The board does want tangible data.
All of the above doesn't matter for aviation, it is all about the ASTB scores and has always been about those scores, they take almost no time at all reviewing each application maybe a minute. They are looking for people who have the best chance of getting through flight school.
The exception for aviation is if you have a waiver, your application will be scrutinized depending on what the waiver is.
JustChilling
SWO Applicant
I've seen some messages here state that SWO boards look at OAR/GPA only, don't really care about LORs or statements. With the general rate of acceptance these last few boards (nearly 100% it seems but I can be wrong), in your view, the criteria now minimum OAR/GPA without waiver and breathing?
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
SWO has also not really cared about the statement over the years, more of a quick glance, the more of a need the less looked at.
JustChilling
SWO Applicant
Thanks for the answer. Hoping the SWO boards continue their high rate of acceptance.
Thank you for your feedback, I got similar feedback from friends and was able to hit some of these points in the final result.
looking for any advice on my personal State, applying for Supply, also feel kind of hesitant using the quote from Napoleon but feel free to let me know if I should keep it or cut it.
As a Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force, I have had the privilege of leading and mentoring a team of Airmen, managing maintenance operations worldwide, and working alongside service members in joint environments. These experiences have strengthened my commitment to service and sharpened my skills as a leader. Now I am ready to take on new challenges and expand my impact by commissioning as an officer in the United States Naval Supply Corps.
Napoleon once said, 'The amateurs discuss tactics; the professionals discuss logistics.' My time in the Air Force has solidified my understanding of this truth. Managing inventory, couriering parts, and loading aircraft to support missions across branches have shown me firsthand how logistics is the heartbeat of operational success. These experiences, combined with my fascination for the Navy’s exceptional supply chain capabilities, inspired me to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Logistics and Supply Chain Management. This education has further prepared me to excel as a professional in the Naval Supply Corps, where I aim to play a pivotal role in sustaining mission readiness and success.
I come from a proud family of military service. My father, a retired Master Gunnery Sergeant who served 27 years in the Marine Corps, instilled in me the values of honor, courage, and commitment. Before I even knew that these were the core values of the Navy, these values were already a way of life for me. Honor drives me to hold myself accountable and perform my duties with integrity. Courage pushes me to lead my team through demanding circumstances and challenge myself to grow as a professional. Commitment fuels my dedication to serving my country and ensuring mission success. These values have shaped who I am, and I am eager to uphold them as a naval officer.
Growing up on Marine and Navy bases gave me a deep respect for the Navy’s culture of camaraderie, discipline, and professionalism. I vividly remember the sense of unity and pride I saw among Navy personnel, and it is a standard I aspire to uphold in my own career. President John F. Kennedy once said, 'I can imagine a no more rewarding career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: ‘I served in the United States Navy.’ I share this sentiment wholeheartedly. With my leadership experience, logistics background, and dedication to service, I am confident in my ability to make a meaningful contribution to the Navy’s mission. I am ready to take the next step in my military career as a commissioned officer in the United States Navy Supply Corps. Joining the Navy is not just my goal; it is the culmination of everything I have worked for and the path I am determined to follow.
As a Staff Sergeant in the United States Air Force, I have had the privilege of leading and mentoring a team of Airmen, managing maintenance operations worldwide, and working alongside service members in joint environments. These experiences have strengthened my commitment to service and sharpened my skills as a leader. Now I am ready to take on new challenges and expand my impact by commissioning as an officer in the United States Naval Supply Corps.
Napoleon once said, 'The amateurs discuss tactics; the professionals discuss logistics.' My time in the Air Force has solidified my understanding of this truth. Managing inventory, couriering parts, and loading aircraft to support missions across branches have shown me firsthand how logistics is the heartbeat of operational success. These experiences, combined with my fascination for the Navy’s exceptional supply chain capabilities, inspired me to pursue a bachelor’s degree in Logistics and Supply Chain Management. This education has further prepared me to excel as a professional in the Naval Supply Corps, where I aim to play a pivotal role in sustaining mission readiness and success.
I come from a proud family of military service. My father, a retired Master Gunnery Sergeant who served 27 years in the Marine Corps, instilled in me the values of honor, courage, and commitment. Before I even knew that these were the core values of the Navy, these values were already a way of life for me. Honor drives me to hold myself accountable and perform my duties with integrity. Courage pushes me to lead my team through demanding circumstances and challenge myself to grow as a professional. Commitment fuels my dedication to serving my country and ensuring mission success. These values have shaped who I am, and I am eager to uphold them as a naval officer.
Growing up on Marine and Navy bases gave me a deep respect for the Navy’s culture of camaraderie, discipline, and professionalism. I vividly remember the sense of unity and pride I saw among Navy personnel, and it is a standard I aspire to uphold in my own career. President John F. Kennedy once said, 'I can imagine a no more rewarding career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: ‘I served in the United States Navy.’ I share this sentiment wholeheartedly. With my leadership experience, logistics background, and dedication to service, I am confident in my ability to make a meaningful contribution to the Navy’s mission. I am ready to take the next step in my military career as a commissioned officer in the United States Navy Supply Corps. Joining the Navy is not just my goal; it is the culmination of everything I have worked for and the path I am determined to follow.
exNavyOffRec
Well-Known Member
The motivational statement is where you sell yourself to the board and tell them what you can do for the USN, they don't care about your family history, where you grew up or that you can insert quotes from other people into a statement.
The board will spend little time on reading this so you need to stick to the facts on why you are going to be better than the other person trying to get this spot.
FormerRecruitingGuru
Making Recruiting Great Again
No quotes. The JFK quote is probably used by 50% of applicants. Be more direct, what do you bring to the table?
Hello everyone I am a sailor applying for the SNA designator for STA-21. I would appreciate some criticism on my statement and to know if its too motivational. (yes ik its very hard to get picked up on SNA or SNFO for STA-21 but im trying cuz why not)
Statement is as follows:
Becoming a United States Naval Officer has been a lifelong aspiration of mine. I have long been drawn to the values of service, leadership, and excellence that define the Navy. My selection as a Naval Officer would enhance the fleet through my unwavering dedication to service, my passion for mentoring and leading others, and my ability to work collaboratively with both subordinates and superiors to solve complex problems and promote mission readiness. I am applying for the Naval Aviator option because aviation, and specifically Naval Aviation, has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember. The camaraderie among Naval Aviators, Naval Flight Officers, and maintainers inspires me, and I am eager to contribute to this dynamic community. My experience as an Aviation Electronics Technician has provided me with a deep understanding of what it takes to keep an aircraft mission-ready, further solidifying my commitment to this path.
I was raised primarily by my mother, as my father, an abusive alcoholic, was largely absent from my life. My mother also struggled with addiction, which led to a tumultuous upbringing. I attended three different schools, an experience that taught me resilience, adaptability, and the ability to overcome adversity. It was during high school that I discovered my passion for leadership. As a dedicated member of my school’s band program, I was entrusted with multiple leadership roles, including section leader each year, co-captain as a junior, and band captain as a senior. Additionally, I volunteered to teach music to middle school students, where I had the opportunity to mentor and develop young musicians. These experiences reinforced my desire to lead and serve others.
My commitment to military service was solidified when I applied for the NROTC scholarship at Kennesaw State University. At the same time, I enrolled in the Delayed Entry Program for the United States Navy, knowing that no matter the outcome, I was determined to serve my country. Although I was not selected for the NROTC scholarship, I enlisted in the Navy. My time in service, though brief, has given me firsthand experience of the critical role that leadership plays in mission success. I have seen the impact of both strong and weak leadership, and these experiences have further driven me to become the kind of leader who fosters a positive and mission-focused command environment.
I am confident that my dedication to the Navy, my leadership abilities, and the skills I have developed through my personal and professional experiences will allow me to be a successful Naval Officer. I am eager to take on greater responsibilities, mentor those around me, and contribute to the success of my fellow sailors and the mission of the United States Navy. My passion for aviation, my commitment to service, and the perseverance I have shown in my personal life has prepared me for this challenge, and I am ready to take the next step in my career as a Naval Officer.
Statement is as follows:
Becoming a United States Naval Officer has been a lifelong aspiration of mine. I have long been drawn to the values of service, leadership, and excellence that define the Navy. My selection as a Naval Officer would enhance the fleet through my unwavering dedication to service, my passion for mentoring and leading others, and my ability to work collaboratively with both subordinates and superiors to solve complex problems and promote mission readiness. I am applying for the Naval Aviator option because aviation, and specifically Naval Aviation, has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember. The camaraderie among Naval Aviators, Naval Flight Officers, and maintainers inspires me, and I am eager to contribute to this dynamic community. My experience as an Aviation Electronics Technician has provided me with a deep understanding of what it takes to keep an aircraft mission-ready, further solidifying my commitment to this path.
I was raised primarily by my mother, as my father, an abusive alcoholic, was largely absent from my life. My mother also struggled with addiction, which led to a tumultuous upbringing. I attended three different schools, an experience that taught me resilience, adaptability, and the ability to overcome adversity. It was during high school that I discovered my passion for leadership. As a dedicated member of my school’s band program, I was entrusted with multiple leadership roles, including section leader each year, co-captain as a junior, and band captain as a senior. Additionally, I volunteered to teach music to middle school students, where I had the opportunity to mentor and develop young musicians. These experiences reinforced my desire to lead and serve others.
My commitment to military service was solidified when I applied for the NROTC scholarship at Kennesaw State University. At the same time, I enrolled in the Delayed Entry Program for the United States Navy, knowing that no matter the outcome, I was determined to serve my country. Although I was not selected for the NROTC scholarship, I enlisted in the Navy. My time in service, though brief, has given me firsthand experience of the critical role that leadership plays in mission success. I have seen the impact of both strong and weak leadership, and these experiences have further driven me to become the kind of leader who fosters a positive and mission-focused command environment.
I am confident that my dedication to the Navy, my leadership abilities, and the skills I have developed through my personal and professional experiences will allow me to be a successful Naval Officer. I am eager to take on greater responsibilities, mentor those around me, and contribute to the success of my fellow sailors and the mission of the United States Navy. My passion for aviation, my commitment to service, and the perseverance I have shown in my personal life has prepared me for this challenge, and I am ready to take the next step in my career as a Naval Officer.