Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

[exNavyOffRec]

I am a first gen when it comes to a traditional college. My mother went to an online university so she didn’t have a traditional four year university experience. I will reword that for clarity.

Also, the three year university thing, in my opinion, is an accomplishment. I’ve met plenty students that were on year 6 and had a worse gpa. After talking to my recruiter, I was told that they also look at the grades that I got in my STEM courses which I did above average in all of those which I felt coupled with graduating in three years while volunteering heavily would’ve made me more competitive. I think I may take off the gpa and leave the three year thing.

Thank you for your feedback

I wanted to also mention that I had a candidate similar to you, great person and candidate and I can say I spent more time writing a good recruiter statement on that candidate than anyone else, since it took a while to get their application together I was able to put some good info in that statement. I actually had a board member call me about this applicant because my statement was very specific, I will never forget that call as I was at a command picnic, that applicant was selected so that was nice.

 

[nobiro99]

Hey, working on putting together my packet. Looking for feedback on my motivational statement.

My desire to serve in the military is not something that I was taught in my youth or was a part of me innately. This concept emerged during a reflective time of my life when I truly began to appreciate how fortunate I was to be an American. I quickly developed a sense of indebtedness—a feeling I presumed I could only repay through a life of public service. Shortly after that realization, I intrinsically knew I would pursue a career in the military. This concept has been a lodestar throughout my adult life, and the prime mover which motivated me to study both Political Science, and United States Foreign Policy and National Security. It was my academic experience at American University where my passion and interest for a career in intelligence was ignited.

I am seeking a commission in the United States Navy to orient my life towards something bigger than myself. From my perspective, there is no more effective way to serve a life of public service than through a career as an Officer in the United States Navy. I am applying for a role as an Intelligence Officer because I realize this is an opportunity for me to become the best version of myself, and effectively fulfill a role critical to the overall mission of the United States Navy. Furthermore, this is a subject and area of expertise I have studied thoroughly, and already prepared for throughout my academic and professional career.

My first real experience in a leadership role was not of my own volition but rather one thrust upon me through a regrettable event. My small family was fundamentally damaged after the untimely death of my father. I soon actualized that I would have to step up into a quasi leadership role— not only for my benefit but to keep the family from imploding. I learned at a young age that my actions, and intentions could motivate and inspire those around me. I developed the capacity to translate my familial vision into reality. This experience remains one of my greatest accomplishments.

The first leadership experience I readily took on, was that of a coach and trainer at my local mixed martial arts gym. This was not an experience I fell into, rather the deliberate culmination of intensive study, grueling training sessions, and endless repetitions of drills. Through this hard work, I earned the respect of my peers, and the ability to influence and guide them toward a common goal. This experience taught me the importance of integrity and accountability in leadership, and how to motivate and inspire comradery within a team.

I have no doubts the other applicants to the Intelligence Officer positions are brilliant candidates, with impressive résumé and remarkable letters of recommendations—but I believe what makes me a candidate that stands out is my dedication and devotedness to a mission beyond myself, and my proven track record resiliency and tenacity in the face of adversity. I believe these characteristics in conjunction with the exemplary training of the United States Navy will make me an outstanding Officer.

 

[civilciv]

So I tweaked it using the feedback. Can someone take look?

“Life doesn't get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” -Dr. Steve Maraboli
I was born to a 16-year-old high school senior. She is tough. Even with the responsibilities of single motherhood and raising my sister and me, she was able to work her way through college and eventually became a registered nurse. After many years of hard work, double shifts, a bit of elbow grease, and I'm sure some tears, she did it. My mother is one hard-working woman, and she taught me that some of the greatest things come from sleepless nights and giving 110% always. Her determination led me to complete two semesters of college through VCU's School of Engineering before I graduated from high school within the top ten of my senior class of almost 400.
Throughout high school, I had the goal of joining the Navy upon graduating as I felt that the military could instill in me discipline, leadership, and the opportunity to continue my education. After the insistence of my mother, I took a detour on my journey and attended college that fall instead, as a Mechanical Engineering major (and then ultimately Civil Engineering), presidential scholar, and Honors College student where I obtained B.S.C.E in just three years. Graduating early was simply a personal goal that I set for myself. In all honesty, I had a few hiccups along the way while juggling school and working full time. But I was determined to finish strong with at least a 3.0 GPA, and I did just that. My college experience was quite short, but throughout my three years, I served on the executive board for the National Society of Black Engineers as the head of our volunteering and fundraising board, tutored Calculus and various other math courses directly for my university while also serving as an assistant instructor, volunteered with America Reads tutoring elementary and middle school-aged children, worked as a peer career coach for my university's career management office helping my fellow classmates find internships and post-grad jobs, and was even a mentor at a couple of local schools.
The Navy has had the greatest appeal to me as a career choice. I have always wanted to serve my country and wear the Navy's uniform proudly. I have even heard many veterans retell stories of their experiences serving and have always wanted to have these same experiences for myself. After graduating college, I decided to serve my country as a civilian in an attempt to get my toes wet and I currently work as a Naval Architect on aircraft carriers (L-Boats & CVNs) for NAVSEA. However, my dream of working as a Seabee is still sitting comfortably in my heart. But now, it has shifted to something even bigger: the Civil Engineering Corps. I would be honored to have the opportunity to serve as an officer for the CEC. The Navy directly facilitates the growth of the individual by emphasizing the importance of continued career growth whether it be through continued education or obtaining whatever certifications that one needs to do their job the most efficiently. This is ultimately what drives my desire to join the Navy.
I was born into the role of “leader” as I had to be a perfect example of a well-behaved child, a good student, and now a respectable adult for my younger sister and brother as the eldest. This blossomed into mentoring, tutoring, and volunteering throughout college and even now as a working professional. I have learned what determination, resilience, and accountability look like, and I have done my possible best to epitomize it. However, I thoroughly believe that you can always be better, and I truly believe that the Navy’s CEC Officer Program will be my ultimate teacher.

I wanted to also mention that I had a candidate similar to you, great person and candidate and I can say I spent more time writing a good recruiter statement on that candidate than anyone else, since it took a while to get their application together I was able to put some good info in that statement. I actually had a board member call me about this applicant because my statement was very specific, I will never forget that call as I was at a command picnic, that applicant was selected so that was nice.

That was great of you! I didn't know that recruiters also write a statement for your package. That's sort of good news!

 

[icen25]

Hey everyone, I am applying for the NUPOC program and im looking to get some feedback on my motivational statement. I feel it is too long but am not sure where to take out some info. Thanks everyone in advance!

I have always been drawn towards a military career ever since I can remember. This stemmed from my passion of serving others. When I was young, my parents would take my brother and I to volunteer together at our local soup kitchen every couple of weeks. At the soup kitchen, I met a number of veterans who would talk to us about their service. The one view they all had in common was that serving their country was the most proud and honorable acts they have ever done in their lives. These conversations, as short as they seem, inspired me to pursue a military career in whatever field I was interested in. They also talked to me about the many different ways to serve, that there are many people and roles involved in a mission. As I grew up and did more research about the diverse fields in that each branch has to offer, I would always lean towards the Navy. Whether it was the sharp white uniforms, or being out at sea, the Navy seemed to offer a lot more careers in various fields than the other branches.
I tested for and attended one of the top high schools in the country. My high school was STEM focused and as such, I learned a lot about the different types of engineering fields. I also played football and lacrosse, while being an active member of a few clubs. Because of the academic rigor and demand from both my classes, and my obligation to my teammates, I found myself learning how to prioritize and manage my time. I struggled my freshman year as it was the first year I was challenged both academically and physically. Because my schedule was so demanding, I decided to take less breaks during the day in order to catch up on any work that needed to be done. I gave up my lunch periods, any gaps between practices, and even the time taking the train to and from school and practice. I utilized these time periods to either catch up on any schoolwork, or sometimes be ahead of the work that I knew would be coming. I realized that there isn't much time in a day, but making the most out of each minute makes a world of a difference.
As I progressed throughout high school, I began to take on leadership roles in the teams and clubs I was a part of. I not only learned the logistics and managerial side of leading a group, but also the empathetic, mentoring side. I learned that one of the most important and effective ways to leading is by doing. Leading by example is what I believe the best way to gain trust and build a strong culture of success around a group. I was always the first one at practice and the last one to leave day in and day out with the same positive attitude. Perception is reality and I knew many of my teammates looked up to me. I had to do my part push them to do their part.
During my senior year, I attended a local EMT school to learn the basics of emergency care and basic life support. I wanted a job I could do during college that was both critical and exciting. I would attend my regular classes, a number of them included AP courses, during the weekday and then attend 16 hours’ worth of class at EMT school during the weekends. I was also driven to pursue this because my mother had died from a stroke when I was 8 years old from a stroke. Her coworkers did not recognize the signs of a stroke and did not call for medical help until she had collapsed. Her sudden death reminded me of how quickly things can be taken away from you. I completed this course and passed the state certification exam. I began to work as an EMT for a private ambulance company and quickly learned how to work under pressure and follow specific protocols and procedures to ensure quality patient care.
When I decided to go to college and pursue engineering, the idea of joining the navy never left my mind. I knew I had to look at what the Navy had to offer as far as any engineering roles. I quickly began to realize that the navy had a number of technical jobs that desired any engineering background. I had looked into NROTC and the Naval Academy but I still wanted a normal college experience. I went to my states flagship public school and hoped to apply after I graduate directly to OCS. It wasn't until a few months ago I had found out about the NUPOC program through one my research assignments about nuclear power. As I did more research about the NUPOC program, the more I realized how perfect it aligned with my interests.
I believe I am a great candidate for a position in the Navy as a Naval Nuclear Officer based on my various experiences. As a student athlete at a competitive high school, I learned a lot about discipline and grit. I learned how to push myself to achieve more and to set higher standards than everyone else. I wanted to stand out from my peers and did such that. My experience as an EMT also encompasses my ability to adapt to stressful environments and how to control my emotions and be objective when the time comes because I am responsible for my patient’s life and well-being. I quickly learned how to take charge in emergency situations and direct people in order to secure the patient’s quality of care. I believe this translates directly to working in the fleet where sailors will rely on you to know what to do and how to do in any given situation. Because of my experiences and academic proficiency, I believe I will make an exceptional Naval Nuclear Officer.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Hey everyone, I am applying for the NUPOC program and im looking to get some feedback on my motivational statement. I feel it is too long but am not sure where to take out some info. Thanks everyone in advance!

I have always been drawn towards a military career ever since I can remember. This stemmed from my passion of serving others. When I was young, my parents would take my brother and I to volunteer together at our local soup kitchen every couple of weeks. At the soup kitchen, I met a number of veterans who would talk to us about their service. The one view they all had in common was that serving their country was the most proud and honorable acts they have ever done in their lives. These conversations, as short as they seem, inspired me to pursue a military career in whatever field I was interested in. They also talked to me about the many different ways to serve, that there are many people and roles involved in a mission. As I grew up and did more research about the diverse fields in that each branch has to offer, I would always lean towards the Navy. Whether it was the sharp white uniforms, or being out at sea, the Navy seemed to offer a lot more careers in various fields than the other branches.
I tested for and attended one of the top high schools in the country. My high school was STEM focused and as such, I learned a lot about the different types of engineering fields. I also played football and lacrosse, while being an active member of a few clubs. Because of the academic rigor and demand from both my classes, and my obligation to my teammates, I found myself learning how to prioritize and manage my time. I struggled my freshman year as it was the first year I was challenged both academically and physically. Because my schedule was so demanding, I decided to take less breaks during the day in order to catch up on any work that needed to be done. I gave up my lunch periods, any gaps between practices, and even the time taking the train to and from school and practice. I utilized these time periods to either catch up on any schoolwork, or sometimes be ahead of the work that I knew would be coming. I realized that there isn't much time in a day, but making the most out of each minute makes a world of a difference.
As I progressed throughout high school, I began to take on leadership roles in the teams and clubs I was a part of. I not only learned the logistics and managerial side of leading a group, but also the empathetic, mentoring side. I learned that one of the most important and effective ways to leading is by doing. Leading by example is what I believe the best way to gain trust and build a strong culture of success around a group. I was always the first one at practice and the last one to leave day in and day out with the same positive attitude. Perception is reality and I knew many of my teammates looked up to me. I had to do my part push them to do their part.
During my senior year, I attended a local EMT school to learn the basics of emergency care and basic life support. I wanted a job I could do during college that was both critical and exciting. I would attend my regular classes, a number of them included AP courses, during the weekday and then attend 16 hours’ worth of class at EMT school during the weekends. I was also driven to pursue this because my mother had died from a stroke when I was 8 years old from a stroke. Her coworkers did not recognize the signs of a stroke and did not call for medical help until she had collapsed. Her sudden death reminded me of how quickly things can be taken away from you. I completed this course and passed the state certification exam. I began to work as an EMT for a private ambulance company and quickly learned how to work under pressure and follow specific protocols and procedures to ensure quality patient care.
When I decided to go to college and pursue engineering, the idea of joining the navy never left my mind. I knew I had to look at what the Navy had to offer as far as any engineering roles. I quickly began to realize that the navy had a number of technical jobs that desired any engineering background. I had looked into NROTC and the Naval Academy but I still wanted a normal college experience. I went to my states flagship public school and hoped to apply after I graduate directly to OCS. It wasn't until a few months ago I had found out about the NUPOC program through one my research assignments about nuclear power. As I did more research about the NUPOC program, the more I realized how perfect it aligned with my interests.
I believe I am a great candidate for a position in the Navy as a Naval Nuclear Officer based on my various experiences. As a student athlete at a competitive high school, I learned a lot about discipline and grit. I learned how to push myself to achieve more and to set higher standards than everyone else. I wanted to stand out from my peers and did such that. My experience as an EMT also encompasses my ability to adapt to stressful environments and how to control my emotions and be objective when the time comes because I am responsible for my patient’s life and well-being. I quickly learned how to take charge in emergency situations and direct people in order to secure the patient’s quality of care. I believe this translates directly to working in the fleet where sailors will rely on you to know what to do and how to do in any given situation. Because of my experiences and academic proficiency, I believe I will make an exceptional Naval Nuclear Officer.

You just put a lot of effort into a motivational statement that no one will read or care about, the NUPOC program is all about the interviews, it is a very cut and dry process. When you get to DC for interviews you will have ideally 2 tech interviews, if you fail one of the first 2 tech interviews you will get a 3rd, if you fail the first 2 tech interviews you will not have a third, no matter if you fail all the tech interviews or not you will still see the Admiral, however if you have failed 2 tech interviews you are essentially done. If you pass 2 tech interviews you are essentially in.

 

[jmj689]

Hey everyone, hoping someone who has the time could give constructive feedback, wanted to know if it's too short or long or missing any vital information...I left a blank in the part about what I'm applying for because I didn't know if it's better to be specific about what job I am going for (I'm going for intel, supply, or aviation) or just to write as an officer candidate. My recruiter advised to just write what motivates you and there are examples on the internet. Good luck to those applying to boards!

The main reason I am applying for a commission in the US Navy is because I believe in constantly searching for a higher purpose when one has not found it yet. Having just entered my 30s, I have experienced working for corporations, teaching English in Latin America, and assimilating into foreign cultures by living abroad and learning a foreign language. While based in Colombia, I had the honor of teaching English to three groups of Colombian Army commissioned and non-commissioned officers. Throughout the half year of instruction, even though I was the instructor in the classroom, I also learned a great deal about patriotism and serving one’s country, which is one of the most selfless acts a person can do. By joining the US Navy as a commissioned officer, I believe I can implement what I learned as an instructor in a foreign country, which is service to country before self. This appears to be the higher purpose that I am searching for and I believe becoming a US Navy Officer will enforce my strengths and improve my weaknesses. This in turn means that I will be a better rounded individual, which would make me the best serviceman that I can possibly be.

Learning to adapt to change is one of the most important aspects of living in the 21st century and I believe I have a growth mindset who is willing to learn and improve every day. As a Finance and Marketing major at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, I am determined to remain vigilant with my personal finances. Therefore, I would like to obtain a secure job that allows for flexibility in investments such as a retirement plan and real estate. I’ve seen changes in my personality where I developed from a spender to a saver because I decided it was more important to be financially secure than to possess tangible materials. A professional goal of mine is to gain experience from the military, even starting at the beginning stages of Officer Candidate School. The military is one of the most trusted institutions in the US and to say that I am serving in the US Navy would be an incredible honor and sense of pride for myself and my family. Everything I will learn from the US Navy has a purpose or practicality that can be applied in different aspects of life, from discipline to lessons of leadership.

My chief strength is that I have a work ethic that is second to none. Just as crucial as natural talent or incredible intelligence is an unwavering work ethic which I believe is required to sustain success as a _. I also have an ability to make note and learn from my mistakes, for example when I changed from a spender to a saver as mentioned in the previous paragraph. As someone with a little more experience in life, I try to pass on the knowledge that I gain to younger people who may benefit. For example, I am constantly advising my little sister like a mentor as she is navigating her last year of high school. Since I have already experienced this, I am able to give sage advice. I believe this is a starting point of leadership because I am willing to expend my knowledge and not just keep it to myself. If positioned as a US Navy Commissioned Officer, I would lead other service members with integrity and commitment.

 

[Yameyantok]

How long does the statement have to be? My recruiter keeps saying 500 characters, but I keep seeing posts that say 400 words, and examples that are way longer than both.

 

[jmj689]

How long does the statement have to be? My recruiter keeps saying 500 characters, but I keep seeing posts that say 400 words, and examples that are way longer than both.

All my OR said was it's good as long as it fits on the APSR without having to scroll on the pdf, he didn't give a length requirement

 

[taxi1]

Comm brevity is next to godliness.

 

[WannaFlyHigh]

Hi all, rip this to shreds if you have to. It is a rough draft. I am apply to SNA only.

The decision to become a Naval Officer is one that has been influenced by a combination of many things in my life. The honor and privilege associated with serving the greatest country in the most powerful Navy is truly incomparable. Having the opportunity to become a leader in an organization that has shaped the world since its inception would undoubtedly leave an incredible impact in my life.

As a young child growing up in an immigrant family, I had always had the urge to serve my community and my country. I understood the sacrifices people had made to allow me to live the positive life I grew up in, and I knew I had to give back in some way. I had the utmost respect for those in the Armed Services and had always tried to emulate the characteristics of a military leader in all facets of my life. As I continued to grow, I always searched for service members with similar backgrounds and upbringings who could pose as role models to me. Although I came up with little luck, I realized that I would have to motivate myself and forge my own path to becoming a Naval Officer. I had to become the role model I wish I had as a young kid.

To add, becoming a Naval Officer will give me the chance to be the first in my family to serve in the armed services. This experience will allow me to lay the foundation for future generations of kids who also want to be a part of something bigger than themselves but do not know how to get there.

My goal of becoming a Naval Officer was partly inspired by my love for aviation. Growing up I had a complete fascination of anything that could fly. In the Spring of 2014, I watched the Blue Angels soar over the skies of Jones Beach, Long Island and from that point on I knew I wanted to be a Naval Aviator. The sound of the jets ripping through the sky sparked a fire in me that has not gone out since. Although I had doubted myself coming into college due to bouts with imposter syndrome, I had decided pursuing a degree in Aerospace Engineering would set me on the best path to flying for the Navy.

My time in college has taught me plethora of life lessons I could take all along my future. I realized that to become a better version of yourself and develop, you must come out of your comfort zone and be ambitious. Nothing worth having comes easy. This mindset pushed me to run for a leadership position in the Society of Engineers and I managed to become the treasurer. I realized I loved working in a collaborative environment while being a responsible and critical member of an organization. I wanted to lead people towards accomplishing tasks and ultimately success.

My time at (defense contractor) as an engineering intern and working on the US Navy’s premier tactical fighter platforms has undoubtedly had an impact on why I want to be a Naval Aviator. I worked closely with the Super Hornet and Growler and learned the ins and outs of what it takes to operate these engineering marvels. I realized the most important part of Naval Aviation is the people. The aircrew I worked closely with were not only exceptional leaders and countrymen, but also intelligent and congenial. The connections I have made with them had inspired me to really take a leap of faith and pursue a dream I have had for so long.

The core values of the Navy, honor, courage, commitment, are characteristics that deeply resonate with me through my past experiences and upbringing. I believe that being granted a commission as a United States Naval Aviator will allow me to achieve a life long dream of flying in the military in addition to leading young men and women in the defense of our nation.

 

[taxi1]

Best of luck with your efforts (future) shipmate. Your story is a good one.

And now the grammar nanny sez...

Although I had doubted myself coming into college due to bouts with imposter syndrome, I had decided pursuing a degree in Aerospace Engineering would set me on the best path to flying for the Navy.

Try this sentence but removing the word “had” from it. Similar with some earlier paragraphs, and unnecessary use of "had". It's jarring to read.

My time at (defense contractor) as an engineering intern and working on the US Navy’s premier tactical fighter platforms has undoubtedly had an impact on why I want to be a Naval Aviator. I worked closely with the Super Hornet and Growler...The connections I have made with them had inspired me to really take a leap of faith and pursue a dream I have had for so long.

I did the same thing in 1983, working on and around Tomcats and Intruders. Planes are always cool.

Again, try deleting “had” from the last sentence. Try replacing “had an impact on” with “impacted”. Your story is a good one. Tighten up the writing you are telling it with.

 

[WannaFlyHigh]

Best of luck with your efforts (future) shipmate. Your story is a good one.

And now the grammar nanny sez...

Try this sentence but removing the word “had” from it. Similar with some earlier paragraphs, and unnecessary use of "had". It's jarring to read.


I did the same thing in 1983, working on and around Tomcats and Intruders. Planes are always cool.

Again, try deleting “had” from the last sentence. Try replacing “had an impact on” with “impacted”. Your story is a good one. Tighten up the writing you are telling it with.

Thank you sir! I always have trouble getting the tenses right with my writing. Will certainly get things fixed.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Hi all, rip this to shreds if you have to. It is a rough draft. I am apply to SNA only.

The decision to become a Naval Officer is one that has been influenced by a combination of many things in my life. The honor and privilege associated with serving the greatest country in the most powerful Navy is truly incomparable. Having the opportunity to become a leader in an organization that has shaped the world since its inception would undoubtedly leave an incredible impact in my life.

As a young child growing up in an immigrant family, I had always had the urge to serve my community and my country. I understood the sacrifices people had made to allow me to live the positive life I grew up in, and I knew I had to give back in some way. I had the utmost respect for those in the Armed Services and had always tried to emulate the characteristics of a military leader in all facets of my life. As I continued to grow, I always searched for service members with similar backgrounds and upbringings who could pose as role models to me. Although I came up with little luck, I realized that I would have to motivate myself and forge my own path to becoming a Naval Officer. I had to become the role model I wish I had as a young kid.

To add, becoming a Naval Officer will give me the chance to be the first in my family to serve in the armed services. This experience will allow me to lay the foundation for future generations of kids who also want to be a part of something bigger than themselves but do not know how to get there.

My goal of becoming a Naval Officer was partly inspired by my love for aviation. Growing up I had a complete fascination of anything that could fly. In the Spring of 2014, I watched the Blue Angels soar over the skies of Jones Beach, Long Island and from that point on I knew I wanted to be a Naval Aviator. The sound of the jets ripping through the sky sparked a fire in me that has not gone out since. Although I had doubted myself coming into college due to bouts with imposter syndrome, I had decided pursuing a degree in Aerospace Engineering would set me on the best path to flying for the Navy.

My time in college has taught me plethora of life lessons I could take all along my future. I realized that to become a better version of yourself and develop, you must come out of your comfort zone and be ambitious. Nothing worth having comes easy. This mindset pushed me to run for a leadership position in the Society of Engineers and I managed to become the treasurer. I realized I loved working in a collaborative environment while being a responsible and critical member of an organization. I wanted to lead people towards accomplishing tasks and ultimately success.

My time at (defense contractor) as an engineering intern and working on the US Navy’s premier tactical fighter platforms has undoubtedly had an impact on why I want to be a Naval Aviator. I worked closely with the Super Hornet and Growler and learned the ins and outs of what it takes to operate these engineering marvels. I realized the most important part of Naval Aviation is the people. The aircrew I worked closely with were not only exceptional leaders and countrymen, but also intelligent and congenial. The connections I have made with them had inspired me to really take a leap of faith and pursue a dream I have had for so long.

The core values of the Navy, honor, courage, commitment, are characteristics that deeply resonate with me through my past experiences and upbringing. I believe that being granted a commission as a United States Naval Aviator will allow me to achieve a life long dream of flying in the military in addition to leading young men and women in the defense of our nation.

as long as your ASTB scores are really good you could write this in crayon and still get picked up.

 

[WannaFlyHigh]

as long as your ASTB scores are really good you could write this in crayon and still get picked up.

Yeah I keep reading that. I have pretty good ASTB scores but mediocre GPA. Just want the rest of my package to be in good shape in case they need something extra to get me over to ProRecY

 

[Ghost SWO]

Yeah I keep reading that. I have pretty good ASTB scores but mediocre GPA. Just want the rest of my package to be in good shape in case they need something extra to get me over to ProRecY

Your scores and GPA are higher than mine except for the PFAR, and I was picked up for SNA. Taxi1 made great points about the use of "had". Your statement is engaging and your ASTB scores are even better. If I was to make a suggestion it would be to add something that draws the eye into the wall of text that stands out, numbers, percentages, statistics, quantifying things etc. How did the depth perception issue turn out? Best of luck.