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Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

exNavyOffRec

Well-Known Member
Hey all, need help reviewing my stuff. Enlisted to OCS package, max 250 words.
OAR:50
Bach in History
GPA: 2.4
Going for supply

Becoming a Naval Officer has been my goal ever since I set foot into the recruitment office. During my initial attempt I discovered that I was color blind and could not become a NFO like I hoped, but I was not dissuaded. Instead I had chosen to enlist and gain navy experience in the hopes of coming back for a second chance, this time in Supply.
My goal in becoming a Naval Officer is to have the opportunity to lead others and help them succeed. Throughout my time in college and the navy I have always enjoyed helping mentor others and giving them the tools to overcome various challenges. In college I was the team captain for one of our Esports teams, which meant I was responsible for making sure everyone was dedicated to practicing. Additionally, it was my responsibility to make calls under pressure during gameplay to help lead the team to victory. I made sure everyone was in positions they performed their best in, helping the team to reach play-offs multiple times. During my Yeoman “A” school I used my position and knowledge as honor graduate to help instruct my classmates and new students. I frequently organized study sessions and personally went to each person to ensure they had a proper understanding and that they were able to pass without issue. This helped result in an increase in test scores and prevented any more failures. I believe these traits, among others, make me a valuable selection for OCS.
You should look at going for another degree, that 2.4 will sink you, the min GPA is 3.0 and they sometimes do go below that but you are way below that, SWO is easier to get into and even they won't waive past 2.5
 

Rtjenkins

Ricky Jenkins
You should look at going for another degree, that 2.4 will sink you, the min GPA is 3.0 and they sometimes do go below that but you are way below that, SWO is easier to get into and even they won't waive past 2.5
He’s right the program authorization will entertain a waiver at 2.7 gpa. And their standard is 3.0. You can retake some classes to boost your gpa as well
 
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FormerRecruitingGuru

Making Recruiting Great Again
Hey all, need help reviewing my stuff. Enlisted to OCS package, max 250 words.
OAR:50
Bach in History
GPA: 2.4
Going for supply

Becoming a Naval Officer has been my goal ever since I set foot into the recruitment office. During my initial attempt I discovered that I was color blind and could not become a NFO like I hoped, but I was not dissuaded. Instead I had chosen to enlist and gain navy experience in the hopes of coming back for a second chance, this time in Supply.
My goal in becoming a Naval Officer is to have the opportunity to lead others and help them succeed. Throughout my time in college and the navy I have always enjoyed helping mentor others and giving them the tools to overcome various challenges. In college I was the team captain for one of our Esports teams, which meant I was responsible for making sure everyone was dedicated to practicing. Additionally, it was my responsibility to make calls under pressure during gameplay to help lead the team to victory. I made sure everyone was in positions they performed their best in, helping the team to reach play-offs multiple times. During my Yeoman “A” school I used my position and knowledge as honor graduate to help instruct my classmates and new students. I frequently organized study sessions and personally went to each person to ensure they had a proper understanding and that they were able to pass without issue. This helped result in an increase in test scores and prevented any more failures. I believe these traits, among others, make me a valuable selection for OCS.

You’re not eligible based on the 2.4 GPA and non - STEM / business degree.
 

AsianFusion98

New Member
So I'm totally out of luck? Despite college being like 5 years ago it still screws me over lmao
I'm currently in the same boat. Some classes from a previous major years ago is coming back to haunt me. Brought me from a 3.6 to a 3.0 and barely qualifying for Intel. It's pretty garbage but thats the way it is I've been told.
 

Rtjenkins

Ricky Jenkins
So I'm totally out of luck? Despite college being like 5 years ago it still screws me over lmao
You may submit a waiver, but a waiver is just a waiver to get seen to the board. If you are serious about it, send it through, route your waiver, have a strong motivation statement, on the 2nd page of the statement page make sure you include a justification of why are inquiring a waiver and point out you made Maturer than you were 5 years ago. See what happens.
 

TheWanderersWay

New Member
You may submit a waiver, but a waiver is just a waiver to get seen to the board. If you are serious about it, send it through, route your waiver, have a strong motivation statement, on the 2nd page of the statement page make sure you include a justification of why are inquiring a waiver and point out you made Maturer than you were 5 years ago. See what happens
My command assured me it would be a good idea to submit my package and they think I have a good chance despite my GPA. So I guess I'm full sending it, thanks for the help all!
 

HE2000

New Member
Hello! I'm applying for SWO at the next board, and I'd really appreciate it if someone could review my motivational statement. Thanks!
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My decision to apply to become a Naval Officer is motivated by a simple reason: people. I enjoy serving and helping others, ideally in a meaningful organization that can make a real difference in the lives of others. A career serving my country in the U.S Navy as a Surface Warfare Officer would be an incredible honor and would provide a unique opportunity to use the leadership, communication, and decision-making skills that I have developed in a dynamic environment soon after commissioning.

During my high school and collegiate years, I have grown the most as a person in my leadership abilities. As a lifeguard, I was on the front lines ensuring the safety of the public, and reacting to emergencies, particularly in stressful situations, including but not limited to active drownings, medical emergencies, and severe weather emergencies. When I was promoted to Pool Director, my responsibilities shifted, requiring me to focus more on the big picture with oversight from central management. I had a significant responsibility to manage, schedule, and train a division of approximately 20-30 staff members while also ensuring daily operations ran smoothly and coordinating with my colleagues at other locations. For example, one day I was dealing with something as mundane as filling out discipline paperwork for an employee who missed a shift. The next day, I had to handle a situation where someone had drowned in the pool overnight, and I had to coordinate with my team, local emergency services, and my superiors to ensure a swift response was rendered.

As a Resident Assistant, my role focused primarily on people. As the student supervising a wing of 40 students, it was imperative to get to know each of them personally to ensure their well-being in the student dormitory halls. Ensuring that any needs or concerns were taken care of was paramount to being successful at the job. Examples of this ranged from bringing quarantined residents’ food to dealing with more serious situations, such as when one of my residents attempted to commit suicide and I had to act quickly to get my supervisor and the police involved to help resolve the situation.

My tenures as the President of my University Triathlon and Nordic Skiing teams have given me experience in developing relationships as the head of two club sports organizations. I was responsible for not only managing the clubs from an administrative standpoint but also on a day-to-day basis with things such as recruitment, leading practices, and planning events & travel which were important to sure that we could not only have successful seasons but develop the next generation of leaders for those clubs.

From an education standpoint, my academic career has prepared me to develop my analytical skills and oral & written communication abilities to an advanced level, allowing me to communicate effectively with peers and superiors. Despite the difficulties that COVID posed, I worked hard to complete most of my degree in 3.5 years, and I spent my final semester as a Teaching Assistant working with a group of students in a unique class called Distance Running & Fitness to help them train for a half or full marathon both physically and mentally. Seeing the students I helped realize their goals at the marathon is a time of my life that I will look back on as one of my highlights as a leader.

Overall, I believe my experiences have shaped my ability to be an effective U.S Navy SWO and do my part in ensuring the safety of the United States. Thank you for your time, and consideration.
 
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exNavyOffRec

Well-Known Member
My command assured me it would be a good idea to submit my package and they think I have a good chance despite my GPA. So I guess I'm full sending it, thanks for the help all!
Unfortunately most commands are out of touch with how OCS selections work, hearing what commands have told their sailors over the years has caused me to be in disbelief some of the flat out wrong info they have told their sailors.
You may submit a waiver, but a waiver is just a waiver to get seen to the board. If you are serious about it, send it through, route your waiver, have a strong motivation statement, on the 2nd page of the statement page make sure you include a justification of why are inquiring a waiver and point out you made Maturer than you were 5 years ago. See what happens.
If they get to the point of reading the statements, you have seen some of the people turned down and the decent GPA's they have had.
 

Rtjenkins

Ricky Jenkins
Unfortunately most commands are out of touch with how OCS selections work, hearing what commands have told their sailors over the years has caused me to be in disbelief some of the flat out wrong info they have told their sailors.

If they get to the point of reading the statements, you have seen some of the people turned down and the decent GPA's they have had.
That's true.. I'm not sure how supply does their selection process as I've seen people with an almost perfect gpa get turned down, and on the other hand seen a guy with a 3.2 10 years of tis get selected.
 
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