Motivational Statement MEGA Thread

[twobecrazy]

Alright so I think you have a strong foundation here but it needs to be cleaned up. I'm not going to go into much detail but everything in bold take a look at and see if you want to change it. Some of these things will sound awkward, some maybe unnecessary, or some will just need to be lost all together. I will explain more things later by editing this post. But for now just take a look.

In my teenage years, especially during the summers when other kids were bored out of their mind, I was looking for something more meaningful in life. I was looking for a sense of direction and purpose. I like to be challenged, pushed beyond my limits, boundaries and comfort zone. I want to be the best I could be.

Good

I needed the impetus and the United States Naval Sea Cadets Corps did just that. It helped create and shape the man I am today. I enlisted immediately and was an active cadet for six years, and I cherished every second of it. I wanted to see what the Navy has to offer so I completed every training evolution available such as Seabees, Master-At-Arms, Submarine seminar, Airman School, amphibious, Corpsman School, and Mine Warfare. While attending those trainings, I strive for leadership positions such as squad or platoon leader. At Mine Warfare School, in addition of being the top student in class, I was also the recipient of the Honor Cadet award because of my dedication, motivation and hard work.

Reword

I continued to sharpen my leadership skills by attending POLA: Petty Officer Leadership Academy. There I learned the basic traits of an effective leader: Decisiveness, tact, motivator, dependability, initiative, integrity, and adaptability by being able to adjust, adapt and overcome.

Nice

I rose through the ranks and a year later I was promoted to Petty Officer First Class and chosen to be the Leading Petty Officer of my unit that comprise of 45 cadets. During the two years as LPO, one of my duties was to mentor and motivate the younger cadets. Often I reminded them the importance of education and how to get into college. Even as far as helping them out with filling out their applications for FAFSA, Pell Grants, and Cal Grants to help pay for college, since most of them came from disadvantaged background. Most eventually become productive members of society.

All right so I would reword the first sentence but probably the entire paragraph to something along these lines.

"In the Navy Sea Cadets, I quickly rose through the ranks ultimately achieving the rank Petty Officer First Class and directly responsible for 45 Cadets as the Leading Petty Officer. As a mentor and motivator, I often reminded them the importance of education by constantly pushing them to pursue higher education. I successfully assisted many of my fellow Cadets in pursuit of higher education that might not have otherwise been afforded, by providing much needed instruction towards the college application process."

The reason I say to reword the entire paragraph is because of the first couple of sentences and the final couple. I think it sounds a little better my way but what do you think?

I also lead my unit to win several streamers in events such as Color Guard, Exhibition Drill, Firefighting, and Line Heaving at the annual Flagship competition. In the beginning, my Line Heaving team expressed serious doubts about their ability to even compete due to the fact that they are all females, undersized and does not have the brute strength to throw the rope and monkey fist. I counseled them that Line Heaving is not all about strength or power, but technique and accuracy. What good is all that power with no accuracy to direct it? I taught them simple roping techniques, basic physics of trajectory and centripetal force, and motivate them to keep practicing their throws and do their best. They won third place that year and first place the following year.

More on this later. I think this paragraph could use some similar revision like the previous. But it sounds like you are belittling women here (see bold). I definitely wouldn't do that. I understand your intention behind it but you can make that message much better without the stereotype you have put in the statement.

The last training I completed with the Sea Cadets was aviation ground school at NAS Patuxent River. At the end of training, my interest in Naval Aviation grew even more and now I have a clear sense of what I wanted to do in life. I want to serve in the United States Navy. Upon returning home, I wanted to take that first step of becoming an aviator but I couldn’t afford a Private Pilot License. But that didn’t deter me or discourage me in any way, it made me realize that it is only one of many circumstances where I need to adjust, adapt and overcome.

O.k.

The training I received in the Sea Cadets and the core values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment gave me the motivation to excel in my academic career and life overall. I took challenging honors and AP classes throughout high school and was inducted into the National Honor Society, while staying involved with the badminton and wrestling team.

Hmmm... more later.

Although I was a legal resident, I was not eligible to become a United States Citizen. Before college began I knew could not apply for NROTC slots. Once again, it is just another special circumstance where I need to adjust, adapt, and overcome and to stay committed with the ultimate goal of becoming a Naval Officer. To challenge myself and be competitive I completed my Bachelors Degree in Chemical Engineering, and finished my Master’s Degree with a GPA of 3.8 in one year while on scholarships.

I think you should reword this statement as well. In particular get rid of this (see Italic Bold). I think it would be better suited to say, "I stayed committed with the ultimate goal of becoming a Naval Officer." You can then reword the second sentence in a similar fashion to make it stronger as well.

In the past 3 years working as an engineer I continue to demonstrate reliability, dependability, strong work ethics, and took the initiative to lead new projects. I wrote papers and presented in conferences at the national level. It is very common to work 60 hours a week, because I know that they could depend and count on me to get the job done right the first time. For my exemplary duties, I was awarded the “Shining Star of 2010”. After I took the oath at the Citizenship ceremony, the first person I called was my officer recruiter. I then completed my Private Pilot License in 8 weeks while volunteering 36 hours a month and working full time.

Change the first. Get rid of the second. You are presenting evidence already on why you are dependable and a hardworker.

After 10 years through many circumstances I did not let my ultimate goal fade away into the abyss, I stay committed. Many of my friends and family could not believe that I would give up a safe and well paying engineering career to join the US Navy. And I say to them, I’m not doing this for the money, or the benefits. I’m doing this because I love my country, I want a challenge, and I want to serve in an organization that values Honor, Courage, and Commitment.

In my opinion change the first sentence, get rid of the second, and get rid of the third.

I believe that my experiences as an engineer and a cadet gave me the tools and basic building blocks necessary to become an effective leader, and committed to be the best Naval Officer I can be.

I added some more comments so I hope this helps. Obviously this is your statement and you do what you want with it but those are some of the areas where I feel you could use improvement. Good Luck!

 

[Vitrivius]

thanks for the input, wilco 2bc

 

[twobecrazy]

thanks for the input, wilco 2bc

I added more comments for you. Please see my previous post.

 

[mgoldste]

Hey everyone, I am gathering my packet for SNA right now and would welcome any comments on my motivational statement. It is a little long, so anything to cut out would be more than helpful. Thanks.


Throughout my life I have dedicated myself to endeavor in challenging and rewarding activities, be it scholastic or physical. I am a Chancellor’s Honors student at the University of Tennessee, wrestled varsity in High School and continue to wrestle on the club level. I am driven to enhance my education, physical fitness, and leadership abilities to their greatest extent. Through my research I feel that commission in the Navy is the best way for me to develop myself as a person and a leader.
Academically I have pushed myself to take the most dynamic and challenging courses possible. The honor’s program has allowed me to make several of my courses more challenging and interesting, such as engineering physics and computer systems. In addition to the courses required for computer engineering, I have taken dynamics, statics, chemistry, and material mechanics to allow for a more dynamic, complete education. In order to pursue my passion for flying, I have pursued my private pilot’s license while in school. This not only expanded my working knowledge of aerodynamics and flight, but allowed me to reach a goal that not many have obtained.
Outside of academia, I began wrestling my sophomore year of high school. I had a late start, but I worked hard and eventually was a captain of the team my senior year. Wrestling taught me much about life; my most memorable values that I learned from my experiences were to lead by example and to never give up. My senior year while wrestling for my qualification for the state tournament, I wrestled three hard periods and ended the match in a tie. Though I was dead tired, I came out fiercely in overtime and conquered my opponent. This not only qualified me for state, but showed my teammates to fight to the very end. If I am chosen for commission, I could build on this foundation of leadership and one day lead sailors. This would be a great honor.
In order to determine ones perseverance, they must venture outside of their comfort zone. I’ve continually done this. Whether it is on the wrestling mat when I am physically exhausted, or taking the hardest courses available. This past summer, I moved to a city for an internship where I knew no one. I had never lived outside of Tennessee and there I was in Alabama with nothing but a blow-up mattress, a one bed room apartment, and a computer. I worked the entire summer there, made friends, and was the quality assurance lead on my assigned project. I learned that life is nothing without adventure.
Being commissioned in the Navy as a naval aviator would allow me to reach my full potential. The leadership skill’s I would learn would be invaluable for the rest of my life. The experiences would be one of a kind. Most of all the fulfillment of serving my country would be an honor I would cherish.

 

[twobecrazy]

Throughout my life I have dedicated myself to endeavor in challenging and rewarding activities, be it scholastic or physical. I am a Chancellor’s Honors student at the University of Tennessee, wrestled varsity in High School and continue to wrestle on the club level. I am driven to enhance my education, physical fitness, and leadership abilities to their greatest extent. Through my research I feel that commission in the Navy is the best way for me to develop myself as a person and a leader.
Academically I have pushed myself to take the most dynamic and challenging courses possible. The honor’s program has allowed me to make several of my courses more challenging and interesting, such as engineering physics and computer systems. In addition to the courses required for computer engineering, I have taken dynamics, statics, chemistry, and material mechanics to allow for a more dynamic, complete education. In order to pursue my passion for flying, I have pursued my private pilot’s license while in school. This not only expanded my working knowledge of aerodynamics and flight, but allowed me to reach a goal that not many have obtained.
Outside of academia, I began wrestling my sophomore year of high school. I had a late start, but I worked hard and eventually was a captain of the team my senior year. Wrestling taught me much about life; my most memorable values that I learned from my experiences were to lead by example and to never give up. My senior year while wrestling for my qualification for the state tournament, I wrestled three hard periods and ended the match in a tie. Though I was dead tired, I came out fiercely in overtime and conquered my opponent. This not only qualified me for state, but showed my teammates to fight to the very end. If I am chosen for commission, I could build on this foundation of leadership and one day lead sailors. This would be a great honor.
In order to determine ones perseverance, they must venture outside of their comfort zone. I’ve continually done this. Whether it is on the wrestling mat when I am physically exhausted, or taking the hardest courses available. This past summer, I moved to a city for an internship where I knew no one. I had never lived outside of Tennessee and there I was in Alabama with nothing but a blow-up mattress, a one bed room apartment, and a computer. I worked the entire summer there, made friends, and was the quality assurance lead on my assigned project. I learned that life is nothing without adventure.
Being commissioned in the Navy as a naval aviator would allow me to reach my full potential. The leadership skill’s I would learn would be invaluable for the rest of my life. The experiences would be one of a kind. Most of all the fulfillment of serving my country would be an honor I would cherish.

The first thing I have highlighted in bold you need to get rid of. All of this information is in your application somewhere such as your transcripts. That is great you are proud of your degree in Computer Engineering and your coursework taken but get rid of it. The pilot stuff will be identified somewhere else as well. The board already knows many people don't have a PPL and the benefits of obtaining one so you don't need to tell them that.

The second thing in bold I have highlighted is not good information for this purpose in my opinion. My reasoning is anyone that went to school more than likely an hour away from home (a bunch of people) has experienced everything you mentioned here. It doesn't set you apart from anyone else applying. If you did this in another country half way around the world with a language barrier then it may be something you could mention but as it stands now it is not good information. The one thing you could expand on is your QA experience. Don't go into great depth about it but saying that it taught you "attention to detail" and stuff like that would be a good idea. Those are the major things I don't like about your statement and it appears to occupy a good portion of your statement. There are some minor things (such as not capitalizing Naval Aviator) as well but I'm going to let you get back to work on fixing your statement before we work on those.

 

[mgoldste]

Thanks for the response. I will take that out and add something new. One more question, I have been confused about the length of the essay. In my APSR form it says limited to the visible area, but everyone here talks of 400 words. I have missed something because mine allows for more than 400 words?

 

[GreenLantern330]

Thanks for the response. I will take that out and add something new. One more question, I have been confused about the length of the essay. In my APSR form it says limited to the visible area, but everyone here talks of 400 words. I have missed something because mine allows for more than 400 words?

That was for the old application. The new one is not limited to 400 words, but some people are choosing to keep their statements within the old standards. Whether you want to use 400 words or more is completely up to you.

 

[OCS Hopeful]

Have At It!

Hello Everyone,
I would appreciate suggestions, edits, comments, and opinions on my motivational statement. Thank you.

Honor. Courage. Commitment. These are the three concepts held in the highest regard by the Navy. Likewise, I aim to incorporate these values in my daily life. To live with a sense of honor in everything I do, as well as honor the hard work of those who have come before me by holding myself to the highest standard. To have the courage to stand up for my beliefs and what I know to be right; the courage to face adversity. And, to uphold my commitments to myself, my peers. I hope to be able to do the same for my country. When I picture my future, it is as an officer in the United States Navy. In this role, I see myself as a well-respected leader; someone who listens to and learns from the ideas, opinions, and experiences of my peers in order to better myself and be the most effective leader possible.

From a young age, I have been placed in numerous leadership roles; I believe that this is a position I hold well, with a comfort and grace. When I was five, I joined the Girl Scouts of America, and continued until I graduated from high school. Many of those years, I was elected to hold the position of Patrol Leader. As such, I served as a liaison between the adult leaders and the other Girl Scouts. I mentored the other girls in the Girl Scout Promise and Law to be honest and fair, courageous and strong, responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, and make the world a better place. Additional responsibilities as a Patrol Leader included organizing the logistics of the troop, assisting new members, and leading group projects, all while fostering an atmosphere of teamwork.

In high school, I volunteered for the Trauma Intervention Program (TIP), a program which provides “emotional first aid” to the victims, and their families, of violent crime, traumatic accidents, and medical crises. I became the youngest dispatcher in the program’s history. As a dispatcher I relayed information from emergency personnel to the TIP volunteers, directed volunteers to the requested location, and completed incident reports.

Through high school and college, I volunteered with Explorers, a community service career preparation program at the local police department. In this program was promoted to the highest rank in the Post, and held many positions of leadership, including managing logistics for the entire Post and mentoring younger students. In my first year in Explorers, I was one of 28 students nation-wide selected to attend the bi-annual leadership academy in Washington, DC. That year I was awarded Explorer of the Year for exemplary service to the police department above and beyond that which was expected. In 2010, as the senior member of the program, I lead the Post to a first place award in Incident Command Systems at a nationally renowned tactical competition, this was the first award won by my city. Once I aged out of the program at 21, I continued to volunteer as an advisor for the Post. In addition to providing me opportunities to learn how to be an effective leader, this program has allowed my to grow into who I am today.

In college, I demonstrated my commitment to my education by my admittance to the International Academic Honor Society, Phi Theta Kappa and by maintaining a spot on the Dean’s List. (here I might write about the internship I completed last year, but I haven’t decided yet if I think it is necessary)

I seek a commission with the United States Navy to serve my country, have a career of which I can be proud, and to be a part of something bigger than myself. The Navy has a long and proud tradition of excellence; I believe that I have the dedication, desire, and potential to be a valuable asset to this history. As a fast learner, with strong morals, I believe I would rise to the challenge and excel as an officer in the Navy. By doing the best that I can, I will lead others to do the best that they can.

 

[twobecrazy]

Hello Everyone,
I would appreciate suggestions, edits, comments, and opinions on my motivational statement. Thank you.


Honor. Courage. Commitment. These are the three concepts held in the highest regard by the Navy. Likewise, I aim to incorporate these values in my daily life. To live with a sense of honor in everything I do, as well as honor the hard work of those who have come before me by holding myself to the highest standard. To have the courage to stand up for my beliefs and what I know to be right; the courage to face adversity. And, to uphold my commitments to myself, my peers. I hope to be able to do the same for my country. When I picture my future, it is as an officer in the United States Navy. In this role, I see myself as a well-respected leader; someone who listens to and learns from the ideas, opinions, and experiences of my peers in order to better myself and be the most effective leader possible.

From a young age, I have been placed in numerous leadership roles; I believe that this is a position I hold well, with a comfort and grace. When I was five, I joined the Girl Scouts of America, and continued until I graduated from high school. Many of those years, I was elected to hold the position of Patrol Leader. As such, I served as a liaison between the adult leaders and the other Girl Scouts. I mentored the other girls in the Girl Scout Promise and Law to be honest and fair, courageous and strong, responsible for what I say and do, and to respect myself and others, respect authority, and make the world a better place. Additional responsibilities as a Patrol Leader included organizing the logistics of the troop, assisting new members, and leading group projects, all while fostering an atmosphere of teamwork.

In high school, I volunteered for the Trauma Intervention Program (TIP), a program which provides “emotional first aid” to the victims, and their families, of violent crime, traumatic accidents, and medical crises. I became the youngest dispatcher in the program’s history. As a dispatcher I relayed information from emergency personnel to the TIP volunteers, directed volunteers to the requested location, and completed incident reports.

Through high school and college, I volunteered with Explorers, a community service career preparation program at the local police department. In this program was promoted to the highest rank in the Post, and held many positions of leadership, including managing logistics for the entire Post and mentoring younger students. In my first year in Explorers, I was one of 28 students nation-wide selected to attend the bi-annual leadership academy in Washington, DC. That year I was awarded Explorer of the Year for exemplary service to the police department above and beyond that which was expected. In 2010, as the senior member of the program, I lead the Post to a first place award in Incident Command Systems at a nationally renowned tactical competition, this was the first award won by my city. Once I aged out of the program at 21, I continued to volunteer as an advisor for the Post. In addition to providing me opportunities to learn how to be an effective leader, this program has allowed my to grow into who I am today.

In college, I demonstrated my commitment to my education by my admittance to the International Academic Honor Society, Phi Theta Kappa and by maintaining a spot on the Dean’s List. (here I might write about the internship I completed last year, but I haven’t decided yet if I think it is necessary)

I seek a commission with the United States Navy to serve my country, have a career of which I can be proud, and to be a part of something bigger than myself. The Navy has a long and proud tradition of excellence; I believe that I have the dedication, desire, and potential to be a valuable asset to this history. As a fast learner, with strong morals, I believe I would rise to the challenge and excel as an officer in the Navy. By doing the best that I can, I will lead others to do the best that they can.

Well I have to be honest. I liked it. It has good content but it is long for my taste. I'm sure you could knock some words out of it to make it more brief and still convey the same message. Overall, I think it conveys the message you are wanting the board to get which is a good message. If your internship provided you more leadership experience by all means include it. If it is just you doing a job I wouldn't put it in there. My reasoning is you will have surrounded it with strong leadership attributes and just talking about a job would make it longer than it already is. My final note is make sure you proof read and take this to a professional to help you proof it. If found some minor errors so I'm sure they will find some more. You have a solid foundation now just work on making it the next wonder of the world! Good Luck!

 

[OCS Hopeful]

Thank you twobecrazy.
I agree it's a little on the long side; I'll try to cut some of the wordiness without loosing content. And I'll definitely get at least one of the English professors from my school to look it over.

 

[CentxPilot]

First Rough Draft

Putting my packet together and figured I'd throw this up here before handing it over to my recuriter. Be brutal if need be just lemme know whatcha think please. Gracias.



The honor and pride one receives from being a Naval Officer is unparalleled, It’s a prestigious title that commands respect. The opportunity to join such an elite group is almost indescribable. It’s a dedication to excellence, a commitment to be the best, and a vow that can never be surrendered.
I believe I would make an excellent officer because of the values that have been instilled in me throughout my life. Values such as courage, commitment, loyalty, accountability, and teamwork. Certain skills and traits that I’ve learned along the way. . The ability to communicate, problem solve, make decisions, the ability to adapt and change and a personal favorite situational awareness. In the aviation community we have a collective term for all of these traits, Cockpit Resource Management or CRM. This refers to having an open mind and the ability to think outside the box to solve a problem. Using all available resources, equipment, people and procedures to come up with the best possible solution.
I imagine being in the Navy is a lot like being in a fraternity. A fraternity is a group of individuals bound together in trust, in true brotherhood, who aide each other at all times regardless the costs to ones self. Being in Alpha Eta Rho taught me a lot about brotherhood, loyalty, teamwork, and commitment. Being the treasurer taught me accountability, to learn the difference between someones wants and needs. To be responsible, keeping a reliable log of expenditures. Most of all it taught me responsible decision making, the ability to say no when everyone wants a yes.
I’ve always loved the water, it makes me happy. I spent five summers when I was younger lifeguarding. A dream of mine has been to just spend time out lost in the ocean, nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Traveling has always been a huge desire of mine as well, and I can think of no better way to do that than one new port at a time.
The military has been in my family for as long as I can remember. Both grandfathers served, one in the Navy and one in the Air force. All three of my uncles served as well, two in the Air force and one in the Army. It was my fathers dream to serve in the Navy as a pilot however at an early age he was severely injured and unable to attend Annapolis. He still however managed to land a job working as a civilian for the air force, rising to a G12. I would love nothing more than to follow my late father’s dream and serve in the United States Navy as an Officer.

 

[Lucy]

Putting the Big 3 in with others makes it more akward than if you had just left it as the 3.
Comparing to a fraternity...maybe not the best idea. Images conveyed, not matter how good the fraternity are not something you want to bring up. Speaking about accomplishments while in, sure, just in general not so much.
Loving water, nice but irrelevent.
Family, again ok, but doesn't add anything.

What comes from this is that are are excited, and want to be an Officer. Little is shown as to really why, why you should be, and why the Navy should want you. There isn't a sense of drive, or of real amibition. Kinda comes off that it would be "cool" but little else.

Rethink and try again.

 

[GreenLantern330]

I'm gonna second what Lucy said about comparing the Navy to a fraternity. With the stereotype of fraternities as being just like the Deltas of Animal House, it's just not a good idea.

A lot can be taken out and still not effect the overall content of this motivational statement. I just completely agree with Lucy. One more thing to add: make sure you take your statement to the English department at your local university, if you're still in school or near one. You need to make sure your punctuation, grammar, syntax, etc. are all perfect, and just by a quick glance I already noticed tons of grammatical errors.

 

[twobecrazy]

Putting the Big 3 in with others makes it more akward than if you had just left it as the 3.
Comparing to a fraternity...maybe not the best idea. Images conveyed, not matter how good the fraternity are not something you want to bring up. Speaking about accomplishments while in, sure, just in general not so much.
Loving water, nice but irrelevent.
Family, again ok, but doesn't add anything.

What comes from this is that are are excited, and want to be an Officer. Little is shown as to really why, why you should be, and why the Navy should want you. There isn't a sense of drive, or of real amibition. Kinda comes off that it would be "cool" but little else.

Rethink and try again.

I agree 100%... I don't think I could have said it better myself! In particular the part in bold.

Also if you keep the Cockpit Resource Management make sure you don't use CRM. CRM is an acronym in the Navy typically associated with Crew Resource Management. Judging by your definition it isn't the same thing so to eliminate any confusion it may just be best to get rid of the acronym.

Another thing is your statement seems to be a little cocky in one particular area. You would want to reword it so it doesn't come across that way. See below it is identified in bold:

"Values such as courage, commitment, loyalty, accountability, and teamwork. Certain skills and traits that I’ve learned along the way. . The ability to communicate, problem solve, make decisions, the ability to adapt and change and a personal favorite situational awareness."

Just a quick note as well about the above statement. When you do lists you should go from the least amount of characters to the most so accountability should be your last. So it should look like this... courage, loyalty, teamwork, commitment, and accountability.

"I’ve always loved the water, it makes me happy. I spent five summers when I was younger lifeguarding. A dream of mine has been to just spend time out lost in the ocean, nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Traveling has always been a huge desire of mine as well, and I can think of no better way to do that than one new port at a time."

This entire paragraph is not very good in my opinion. See above. Also, why would you talk about a dream about being out in the ocean with nowhere to go or nowhere to be? I'm pretty sure you will be going somewhere because you need to be there! I understand what you are trying to say but I guess I just don't like how it is worded. You seem to have good intentions but you don't seem to have a firm grasp on what you are actually applying for and why the Navy should choose you. That is just how you come across in your motivational statement to me. So as stated above. Rethink and try again. Good Luck!

 

[aukonak]

If y'all don't mind, I'm posting mine here to help guys/gals who use this thread as a resource. I was selected and will be attending OCS in 3 weeks.

"History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” – Winston Churchill

I wrote these words under my high school yearbook book photo eight years ago. Reflecting my drive to succeed, my self-assuredness, and knowledge that I would stop at nothing to create a rich, meaningful life for myself, it was exactly these words that have led me to seek a commission as a United States Naval Officer. It is a career that would allow me to serve from within an organization whose values I deeply respect and strive for in my own life: professionalism, dedication, determination, loyalty, dignity, and patriotism. Combined with my skills and attributes that allow me to perform so well under pressure and my unwavering passion for both air and sea, I believe my values make me an ideal candidate and a strong leader.

The foundation of my leadership ability lies in my adaptability, defined mostly through my experiences traveling, sailing, and flying: the three things that I love most. By age twenty-one, I had visited, lived, or studied in over twenty countries. I had earned my private pilot’s license before I could legally drive a car, and I had spent countless hours on the sea, privy to all of the beauty and danger that it has to offer. I became well acquainted with the feeling of being out of one’s element, to being one wrong decision away from grave danger, and to the necessity of quick, detached decision-making. I learned to be at-ease and decisive, and that no crisis is unmanageable. I love the rush that a challenge provides. Most importantly, I learned that growth is impossible without failure.

As a Naval Officer, I would seek to actualize the values I have espoused with integrity, poise, and dedication. I would understand that effective leaders often have to make unpopular decisions. I would live and die by those under my command, and finally, I would be uncompromising in my search for excellence in myself and those around me. My motivation for seeking a commission in the U.S. Navy is my lifelong and bone-deep belief that it is what I was born to do.

Looking back, it was a little corny, a little arrogant, and a little over the top. That's me though.