Screwed up, requesting advice

[Jakain]

I applied and got accepted into a USMC aviator contract and I ship out for my first 6 weeks increment on July 8th. However at the end of April I was arrested for a Class A Misdemeanor, stalking. The person that made the charge was a friend of mine, and she even wrote a reference letter for my application but I'm not sure if my recruiters ended up using it or not.

She and I were good friends until the end of the Spring semester, when I had stupidly tried to turn our friendship into a relationship, and this made her and her boyfriend terminate our friendship altogether. I was stupid to do that, but my actions did not indicate any sort of hostility at all, and in no way did I make her feel threatened. Her boyfriend is one of the controlling types and did not approve of her hanging out with me and she is, unfortunately, submissive in nature and undoubtedly acted on his behalf. I know since I'm just a faceless stranger on the internet that I could be percieved as a creep and delusional for just writing what I did, but I ask for you to believe otherwise. I do community service, and in high school earned JROTC national awards for being an upstanding citizen, and I'm a laid-back guy with a strong set of values and morals.

In any case, this is the only arrest I've ever had in my life. Going to jail for a day was an experience that I'll never forget, and it took that long for me to be able to contact a bondsman to bail me out. I have no other records with the police, other than a speeding ticket that I took a Driver Safety Course to eliminate.

My case is retired for six months, and as long as I exhibit good behavior (don't get in trouble with the law) and make no contact with her, the case will be dropped and was told it would be like "it never happened." And both of these conditions will be met. However I understand that government background checks are extensive, and this arrest will undoubtedly be seen.

I request any advice anyone may have to offer for this situation. Should I tell my recruiter? Wait for the inevitable background investigations? If I graduate and complete both sessions of OCS and keep this a secret, will I be in danger of serving prison time once my arrest has been discovered?

Being a military aviator has been a life-long dream of mine, and to have it being endangered after I got accepted into the program has definitely not been a good experience. Currently I'm a student pilot and I loved flying from the start.

Thank you for reading this, and have a good weekend.

 

[Huggy Bear]

I applied and got accepted into a USMC aviator contract and I ship out for my first 6 weeks increment on July 8th. However at the end of April I was arrested for a Class A Misdemeanor, stalking. The person that made the charge was a friend of mine, and she even wrote a reference letter for my application but I'm not sure if my recruiters ended up using it or not.

She and I were good friends until the end of the Spring semester, when I had stupidly tried to turn our friendship into a relationship, and this made her and her boyfriend terminate our friendship altogether. I was stupid to do that, but my actions did not indicate any sort of hostility at all, and in no way did I make her feel threatened. Her boyfriend is one of the controlling types and did not approve of her hanging out with me and she is, unfortunately, submissive in nature and undoubtedly acted on his behalf. I know since I'm just a faceless stranger on the internet that I could be percieved as a creep and delusional for just writing what I did, but I ask for you to believe otherwise. I do community service, and in high school earned JROTC national awards for being an upstanding citizen, and I'm a laid-back guy with a strong set of values and morals.

In any case, this is the only arrest I've ever had in my life. Going to jail for a day was an experience that I'll never forget, and it took that long for me to be able to contact a bondsman to bail me out. I have no other records with the police, other than a speeding ticket that I took a Driver Safety Course to eliminate.

My case is retired for six months, and as long as I exhibit good behavior (don't get in trouble with the law) and make no contact with her, the case will be dropped and was told it would be like "it never happened." And both of these conditions will be met. However I understand that government background checks are extensive, and this arrest will undoubtedly be seen.

I request any advice anyone may have to offer for this situation. Should I tell my recruiter? Wait for the inevitable background investigations? If I graduate and complete both sessions of OCS and keep this a secret, will I be in danger of serving prison time once my arrest has been discovered?

Being a military aviator has been a life-long dream of mine, and to have it being endangered after I got accepted into the program has definitely not been a good experience. Currently I'm a student pilot and I loved flying from the start.

Thank you for reading this, and have a good weekend.

To use your own lingo, you "screwed up" once. Do not screw up twice by keeping this a secret. It will likely be found out. If not now, then later, when your clearance needs to raised and they do a little more extensive investigation. I definitely know of at least one instance where an "omission" came back to seriously bite someone. You would not go to jail, but could be dismissed with a general discharge (less than an honorable).

 

[Herc_Dude]

Huggy is totally right. Your OSO is your best friend right now. Let him know sooner rather than later ... like Monday at 0800 (or whenever the office opens). Nothing good is going to happen if you sit on this. You might have to wait till all this clears before you head to OCS, might not. Keep your nose clean (as Im sure you are) and let your OSO do what he has to do. He will take care of you. Best of luck man, if what you said is true it sounds like a raw deal.

 

[RedDog]

Put it all on the table. I had a DUI during the time I was supposed to be getting a TS clearance. I was upfront and honest, when the back ground check came, I was questioned about it. I had no prior marks. I was cleared. If I were to have to get another clearance, I would let it all be known. Keep your nose clean, don't let this girl get in the way of your dreams.

 

[theblakeness]

Already been stated, but to echo...TELL YOUR OSO!!!!

 

[BurtonF22]

If you had any other option, I would offer it, but what everyone above stated... You need to make sure your OSO is aware. I don't feel this is a deal breaker based on your history!

You'll be fine, Good Luck!!

 

[bradler]

I would say, if nothing comes of it, no need for you to cause even more stir. Of course let you OSO know but don't tell you have been convicted or anything just that you have a "screwed up" situation. And to totally get clear, don't let them tell you "it will be dismissed, like nothing ever happened" get it exsponged from your record. You have to pay for this but it is worth it, this means they send out notices to all branches of law enforcement and FBI and Secret Services. Because when they say dismissed it is still on the your record, and say hello red flag. So stay clean for 6 months then have it exsponged.

 

[xnvyflyer]

I agree with all of the posts so far. Bring it up before somebody else does.

If all goes well and it turns out it is not going to be an issue, here is some additional advice. No chick is worth it. Your wings will be with you for the rest of your life. Women will come and go. So many guys hook up with a piece of tail and totally screw themselves and their (future) career. Keep your head were it belongs and forget about the long term relationships. There are too many women out there to be thinking about one anyway.

This coming from a guy about to have a daughter tomorrow.

My 2 cents.

 

[Jakain]

Under the terms it will be exsponged. I appreciate all the advice, but man I just don't know how to bring myself to the OSO to tell him the news and I ship out next week. Man life can you hit you hard sometimes, but thanks again.

 

[WishICouldFly]

Threadjack, but congrats, xnvyflyer.

Best of luck to you, Jakain. I was really nervous when I had to tell my recruiter about my MIP, and that was just an MIP, nothing as big as this. But you just gotta suck it up and say. Be apologetic, but not pathetic, and try to show that you've learned from the mistake. I think that's a big thing that the boards and selection committees look for.
If your OSO knows you well enough, and you've shown him the exemplary behavior that you describe yourself as on here, then I'm sure he'll be understanding about the situation.

 

[snake020]

Under the terms it will be exsponged.

For future ref for anyone else in this situation reading this, even if you have something exponged, bring it up in your application and in your security clearance interview anyway. Better to give them too much info about your history than not and have it come out through their interviews with other people or background checks. Getting denied a security clearance is a VERY bad thing.

I appreciate all the advice, but man I just don't know how to bring myself to the OSO to tell him the news...

Just be a man and do it. Even if he gets mad at first, it'll show your OSO your integrity is still intact.
sidenote - I had a kid that lost his restricted area badge about a month before reporting it. The fact that he lost it (first time) would have been a slap on the wrist (i.e. reminder not to lose it), but the fact that he waited a month gave the perception of coverup and now he is facing NJP.

Mistakes are forgiven, coverups aren't, and perception is reality.

 

[RAS]

. . . here is some additional advice. No chick is worth it. Your wings will be with you for the rest of your life. Women will come and go. So many guys hook up with a piece of tail and totally screw themselves and their (future) career. Keep your head were it belongs and forget about the long term relationships. . . . My 2 cents.

My $.02 also. Don't chase them, at a point they'll chase you. Be picky about who gets close. Don't mess with head cases, not your problem. A psychologist friend gave me a bit of advice once that I've found to be worthwhile: sometimes not giving a shit is a very good attitude to take. This girl may have issues, but they're not your issues.

Come clean with your OSO. From this point you have zero relationship with the girl. Don't take her call, delete her number from your cell phone.

$.02

 

[othromas]

This coming from a guy about to have a daughter tomorrow.

My 2 cents.

Hope your significant other doesn't know about this site...:icon_wink

 

[Flash]

Just be a man and do it. Even if he gets mad at first, it'll show your OSO your integrity is still intact.

Mistakes are forgiven, coverups aren't, and perception is reality.

Tell your OSO NOW!! Every day you wait the worse it will get.

 

[Steve Wilkins]

Class A Misdemeanor, stalking.

...my actions did not indicate any sort of hostility at all, and in no way did I make her feel threatened.

How the hell do you know how it made her feel?

How did you get arrested for stalking and what state is this in?