Trying to ease a weary mother's mind

[BackOrdered]

I don't think this is the case here. I've been living away from home for 6 years now (though financial independence is something rather new still). My mother treats me like the adult I am and she expects no less of me than to make important decisions for myself. It is not the issue of making a decision, but making her feel more comfortable with my decision. She's not preventing me from doing anything, she just doesn't like it.
I think that in my particular case having her talk to a recruiter could be useful because a recruiter could give her some insight into Navy life and answer questions I may not be able to.

Persoanlly, I feel you should still separtate these into two events. Why not have your interview followed by an "Oh thank you LT/Chief etc for your time, but I have a request. Do you mind having a talk with my parents/parent offline about service life? She/he has some typical concerns that I'm sure you with your wealth of knowledge would better articulate. Thank you!"

That's just a tactful way of doing it. I see where RUFiO181 is going, but I would be WAAY put off if I were Officer recruiting and someone brought their mom or dad with them. Officer recruiting is not the same as Enlisted recruiting where I'm sure parents getting invloved is common. They (ORs) are looking for what you can do for them.

 

[FormerRecruitingGuru]

Persoanlly, I feel you should still separtate these into two events. Why not have your interview followed by an "Oh thank you LT/Chief etc for your time, but I have a request. Do you mind having a talk with my parents/parent offline about service life? She/he has some typical concerns that I'm sure you with your wealth of knowledge would better articulate. Thank you!"

That's just a tactful way of doing it. I see where RUFiO181 is going, but I would be WAAY put off if I were Officer recruiting and someone brought their mom or dad with them. Officer recruiting is not the same as Enlisted recruiting where I'm sure parents getting invloved is common. They (ORs) are looking for what you can do for them.

Nailed it with the first paragraph.

 

[Renegade One]

Persoanlly, I feel you should still separtate these into two events. Why not have your interview followed by an "Oh thank you LT/Chief etc for your time, but I have a request. Do you mind having a talk with my parents/parent offline about service life? She/he has some typical concerns that I'm sure you with your wealth of knowledge would better articulate. Thank you!"

That's just a tactful way of doing it. I see where RUFiO181 is going, but I would be WAAY put off if I were Officer recruiting and someone brought their mom or dad with them. Officer recruiting is not the same as Enlisted recruiting where I'm sure parents getting invloved is common. They (ORs) are looking for what you can do for them.

Nailed it with the first paragraph.

Shack and Shack to BackOrdered and RUFiO181.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Persoanlly, I feel you should still separtate these into two events. Why not have your interview followed by an "Oh thank you LT/Chief etc for your time, but I have a request. Do you mind having a talk with my parents/parent offline about service life? She/he has some typical concerns that I'm sure you with your wealth of knowledge would better articulate. Thank you!"

That's just a tactful way of doing it. I see where RUFiO181 is going, but I would be WAAY put off if I were Officer recruiting and someone brought their mom or dad with them. Officer recruiting is not the same as Enlisted recruiting where I'm sure parents getting invloved is common. They (ORs) are looking for what you can do for them.

I rarely, had anyone show up with mom/dad/etc who didn't let me know ahead of time, but if you ever go to be an OR be prepared to be WAAY put off very often I can also say the ones that did bring the mom/dad/etc... are the ones that let me know how they are doing, and are doing well, it could be that they are just really good at communication and letting those around them what is going on.

 

[roflsaurus]

Would she attend your OCS graduation? They do A LOT there to make sure that your parents are proud of you and understand how big of a deal it is to be a commissioned US Naval Officer. I don't know if it would completely change her mind, but I can't imagine any parent walking out of there not being at least ok with what their child was doing with their life.

 

[Dmitriy]

Would she attend your OCS graduation?

Yeah I think so. I mentioned in my original post that I think in time she will come to terms with my decision and maybe even more than that.
I'd just like to have my mother's support as I go through OCS since she's all the family I have and I hear OCS is stressful or something like that...
Call me naive, but I honestly believe that in the grand scheme of things I will be happier in the Navy than I could be in the civilian sector and once she sees that she will be okay with my decision. Until then though it's all worries and fears.

 

[Halfpint]

I'm going to bust in on this with a small grammar correction (only because there has been talk of Dmitriy's writing elsewhere on AW, but please understand I am not trying to be a jerk, and I'm sorry this doesn't directly relate to the content of this post): weary = fatigued; wary = cautious, on guard. Please don't hate.

 

[Dmitriy]

I'm going to bust in on this with a small grammar correction (only because there has been talk of Dmitriy's writing elsewhere on AW, but please understand I am not trying to be a jerk, and I'm sorry this doesn't directly relate to the content of this post): weary = fatigued; wary = cautious, on guard. Please don't hate.

As a non-native speaker and a fellow grammar... erm... aficionado, no offense taken. Learn something new every day!

 

[picklesuit]

I'm going to bust in on this with a small grammar correction (only because there has been talk of Dmitriy's writing elsewhere on AW, but please understand I am not trying to be a jerk, and I'm sorry this doesn't directly relate to the content of this post): weary = fatigued; wary = cautious, on guard. Please don't hate.

And douche=grammar Nazi or a vaginal detergent...you pick...(I think it's a homonym)

 

[Halfpint]

Wow, I was just trying to be helpful, and I was going to tell Dmitriy that plenty of native speakers make the same mistake. But don't worry, I got weeded out by medical, so you don't have to worry about me coming in and ruining your Navy.

Dmitriy, I apologize; I should have sent that comment in a private message. Best of luck with your carrer; you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

 

[picklesuit]

Wow, I was just trying to be helpful, and I was going to tell Dmitriy that plenty of native speakers make the same mistake. But don't worry, I got weeded out by medical, so you don't have to worry about me coming in and ruining your Navy.

Dmitriy, I apologize; I should have sent that comment in a private message. Best of luck with your carrer; you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

Don't get your panties in a twist, I threw in a smily to avoid the necessity of implication...
Pickle

 

[Halfpint]

Don't get your panties in a twist, I threw in a smily to avoid the necessity of implication...
Pickle

Fair enough; it makes it hard to walk anyway (damn deployment has me feeling a little sensitive sometimes). Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll let this worthwhile thread continue as intended.

FWIW (regarding the original post), I think that regardless of someone's intent to go in, family support is a issue, even if it doesn't change your mind. I'm pretty sure I got close to losing my marriage during my application process (and we're still dealing with the aftermath).

 

[LET73]

My mom was also not at all happy with my decision to join the Navy. She didn't try to stop me, and she reluctantly attended my OCS graduation, but she also made it clear she didn't like it. For about the first two years after I commissioned, she dropped heavy hints about great jobs available in the civilian sector. I finally told her to knock it off, that I was happy with my choice after two years, and had no plans to get out. She's still not a big fan of the military, but she's come round enough to pretty pleased with where I am and what I'm doing. So I guess what I'm saying is that there may not be much you can do ahead of time to convince her it will be different from what she's afraid of, but when she sees that you're doing well and you're happy with it, she may come to terms with it.

 

[Spekkio]

Persoanlly, I feel you should still separtate these into two events. Why not have your interview followed by an "Oh thank you LT/Chief etc for your time, but I have a request. Do you mind having a talk with my parents/parent offline about service life? She/he has some typical concerns that I'm sure you with your wealth of knowledge would better articulate. Thank you!"

That's just a tactful way of doing it. I see where RUFiO181 is going, but I would be WAAY put off if I were Officer recruiting and someone brought their mom or dad with them. Officer recruiting is not the same as Enlisted recruiting where I'm sure parents getting invloved is common. They (ORs) are looking for what you can do for them.

I think you underestimate how many people don't know the difference between Officer and enlisted and the difference between service branches. On top of that, they suspect everything military recruiters say is a lie and that their kid is no longer a credible source because he/she now believes those 'lies.'

When parents get involved in a son/daughter signing up, even as a 23-27 year old looking for an officer program, they're doing it because of the stereotypes built into their heads. Personally, people I knew who were prior enlisted once upon a time were the most suspicious and biggest naysayers to joining.

 

[Dmitriy]

I think you underestimate how many people don't know the difference between Officer and enlisted and the difference between service branches. On top of that, they suspect everything military recruiters say is a lie and that their kid is no longer a credible source because he/she now believes those 'lies.'

I think this is exactly my case. I think a) my mom projects a lot of stereotypes associated with enlisted service because she doesn't know the difference between enlisted and officer and b) she will assume that a recruiter will tell her (and me) anything just to get me to sign up.
I think instead of having her talk to my recruiter (who is an HM1, btw, so with no disrespect for the job he is doing with me, I don't think would be the best authority to speak about the life of a CEC Officer), putting her in touch with the lieutenant who interviewed me would be more productive. He did leave me his contact information and told me to contact him with questions and concerns.