Divos, DHs, and XOs are not commanders. And institutionally speaking, even a great CO at the unit (ship) level isn't going to have much impact on the larger Navy organization. Also, your question assumes we were good ship handlers at some point in the past. Were we? When?
To your initial question about why were so many commanders willing to accept such a low standard, I think it's less about accepting low standards and more about just trying to get the job done with the resources (time, money, people) provided. How many times have you heard someone say, "I just have to get through XX more months of this."
But at some level each Officer is responsible for maintaining/setting/holding their Sailors/Marines to a standard. Whether that person is a 2ndLt Platoon Commander, an Ens DivO, a Capt or Lt flight lead/aircraft commander, an Lt/LCDR Boat Skipper, (and so on and so forth) they all have a standard to meet.
I don't know when the Navy was ever good at driving boats. I know Naval Aviation is good at flying airplanes, so I assume boat driver would be as good, and that (just like Aviation, or tank drivers, or infantry types, or arty...) the top 10% were better than 90% of any other service (as is true of every other services pilots). Is this not the case?
BTW- none of these are leading questions- I am genuinely curious about how that world operates- because from what you're saying thus far the way I think it works is completely off.
Do you think that by not empowering younger officers with a sense of "command" that the community is lacking? From day 1 I was told that I would be a provisional rifle platoon commander, and that as a pilot, I was really in an aircraft commander syllabus- the early part is that I had to learn how to fly the damn plane well to do that job. But there was always plenty of mentorship and hard learning to develop the judgement and leadership qualities to fit the bill.
Before I could be winged I had to take a jet by myself across the country, away from Dad's watchful eye, not fuck up, and come home on time and in one piece. 2nd Lts were regularly sent 30-50 miles away from their Company HQ, out into the middle of nowhere in Helmend with only their platoon and some attachments. It was just them, maybe 1 other officer, hooking and jabbing in places like Nawzad. They were taught that they were the commander, it was on them.
Do SWOs get ANYTHING like that at all?