24MAY2021 Pilot/NFO Board

[Sparrow18]

Y'all have been really active today. It has kept me coming to AW to refresh the page every hour hoping for someone to post they got results.... ?

 

[HeartofTexas]

Just read this to my fiancé lol..

She said "shit...that's intense"

Not trying to crush hopes and dreams so I will note some common characteristics of the successful relationships I've noticed:

1. Frequent Communication.
On deployment, they're calling/Facetiming their spouse at least every day when possible.

2. Positive Referencing
Very rarely, if ever, will you hear them speak negatively about their spouse. I've noticed people who bitch about their spouses, such as "ugh, my wife spent $500 on XYZ and wants a new car, blah blah", almost always get caught having an affair.

3. Don't Open Themselves Up to the Temptations
As in, they don't find themselves frequently alone with the opposite sex (whether military or civilians) in a non-professional setting, they don't go out drinking excessively with their buddies often, etc...

4. Financially Stable
Not saying they're loaded or have a million dollars in Bitcoin, but they almost always seem to be on the same page with finances (which ties back in to frequent and honest Communication)

Not saying it's fail proof, or that it'll prevent your spouse from straying/leaving, but all the healthier relationships I've seen all shared at least one of these.

 

[exNavyOffRec]

Me: thinks to myself Oh, boy! I’ll bet I fend much better with Australian ladies!

Reality:
View attachment 31158

Not sure how it works now but before COVID when a ship would pull into Australia they would have "host a sailor", about 15 or so years ago when I was there the "host a sailor" ran out of sailors, so people got mad and complained, so much so that there was an article in the paper about it.

If I had been single back then............

 

[Mike D.]

Not trying to crush hopes and dreams so I will note some common characteristics of the successful relationships I've noticed:

1. Frequent Communication.
On deployment, they're calling/Facetiming their spouse at least every day when possible.

2. Positive Referencing
Very rarely, if ever, will you hear them speak negatively about their spouse. I've noticed people who bitch about their spouses, such as "ugh, my wife spent $500 on XYZ and wants a new car, blah blah", almost always get caught having an affair.

3. Don't Open Themselves Up to the Temptations
As in, they don't find themselves frequently alone with the opposite sex (whether military or civilians) in a non-professional setting, they don't go out drinking excessively with their buddies often, etc...

4. Financially Stable
Not saying they're loaded or have a million dollars in Bitcoin, but they almost always seem to be on the same page with finances (which ties back in to frequent and honest Communication)

Not saying it's fail proof, or that it'll prevent your spouse from straying/leaving, but all the healthier relationships I've seen all shared at least one of these.

This is great advice. Appreciate the input

 

[WannaFlyHigh]

Alright boys and girls, I got a curve ball for ya’ll.

I’m currently engaged and I will be making it official through our county pretty soon but we won’t be having a ceremony for our families. We just want to sign the papers so she’s taken care of by the Navy while I’m gone for OCS and she can move to FL with me when the time comes. We want to wait to have a ceremony with our families since right now we wouldn’t have time to plan something like that.

Question: do you guys know if as SNFO we get any time off from our training? I asked my recruiter about this and he said that it’s something I’d have to figure out once I’m there. Just wanted to see if you guys have any insight on this? I wanna know how hard it’s gonna be to plan a wedding while I’m in school. Or if we’re gonna have to wait a couple years after finishing school. Thanks y’all. I wanna be able to give my lady more answers lol

So I did research of my own on this a while back and there are a few airwarriors posts about this exact topic. In summary, it's pretty much discouraged to get married before or during flight school. I think one post said Christmas and Thanksgiving leave is about the most leave time you will get during the year and you will rarely be approved for more than 1 weekend of leave during flight school.

 

[Ruvo]

Just to second this for all the guys and gals out there getting engaged/thinking about it right before training..... definitely no need for a rush AT ALL. Honestly, unless your significant other has medical issues, I certainly wouldn't rush to marry so the "Navy takes care of them". As someone in an aviation community, divorce and cheating is rampant and majority of these stem from people who rushed to marry their college/Pensacola sweetie and then got to the Fleet and realized that they and/or their spouse couldn't handle the scheduling/distance on deployment/etc...

If you think flight school will be the most stressful part, wait until you get called in for weekend flight events, you're studying for your platform and getting chewed out by senior pilots/NFOs in your platform, or they put you on a deployment with little notice because someone else went down.

Personally, if it can wait, wait. Until at least through flight school. It is super rare to see a relationship in the fleet that doesn't end in divorce/cheating because one or both people weren't able to handle it. There are definitely some exceptions and there are some who have healthy, successful, happy relationships, but it is not the norm.

Just my nickel's worth ??‍♀️

I feel like healthy, successful, happy relationships in general aren't the norm, but that could be my inner cynic talking. I can't imagine how much more difficult deployments/weekend events would make things. I would be interested to hear your thoughts on staying single vs trying to start a relationship/make a relationship work while in the fleet. Is it worth trying to make it work, or would it better to wait until you get out and or have some more life stability?

 

[Oski510]

Not trying to crush hopes and dreams so I will note some common characteristics of the successful relationships I've noticed:

1. Frequent Communication.
On deployment, they're calling/Facetiming their spouse at least every day when possible.

2. Positive Referencing
Very rarely, if ever, will you hear them speak negatively about their spouse. I've noticed people who bitch about their spouses, such as "ugh, my wife spent $500 on XYZ and wants a new car, blah blah", almost always get caught having an affair.

3. Don't Open Themselves Up to the Temptations
As in, they don't find themselves frequently alone with the opposite sex (whether military or civilians) in a non-professional setting, they don't go out drinking excessively with their buddies often, etc...

4. Financially Stable
Not saying they're loaded or have a million dollars in Bitcoin, but they almost always seem to be on the same page with finances (which ties back in to frequent and honest Communication)

Not saying it's fail proof, or that it'll prevent your spouse from straying/leaving, but all the healthier relationships I've seen all shared at least one of these.

I feel like age plays a big factor. I don’t think I’d be talking marriage if I was 23 straight out of college. But I feel super comfortable settling down now. I’ve been with my fiancé since I was 22 (will be 8 years this year) and I’m happy with the amount of partying/shares of females I’ve dated. I think a lot of this has to do with maturity, trust and just plain old life experience.

We know this journey won’t be easy and I gave my fiancé a way out when I started this process. But she trusts me and wants to support me achieve my dreams. The biggest thing for her is me not being there when our kids are born one day which happens often. But the fact that’s our biggest worry and not something else like cheating or time spent away from each other I feel speaks to where our relationship is at.

 

[Mike D.]

I feel like age plays a big factor. I don’t think I’d be talking marriage if I was 23 straight out of college. But I feel super comfortable settling down now. I’ve been with my fiancé since I was 22 (will be 8 years this year) and I’m happy with the amount of partying/shares of females I’ve dated. I think a lot of this has to do with maturity, trust and just plain old life experience.

We know this journey won’t be easy and I gave my fiancé a way out when I started this process. But she trusts me and wants to support me achieve my dreams. The biggest thing for her is me not being there when our kids are born one day which happens often. But the fact that’s our biggest worry and not something else like cheating or time spent away from each other I feel speaks to where our relationship is at.

Word. I’d feel much more insecure about my relationship at 22 than I do now. Now it feels like it’s no factor because of where we are however we haven’t experienced the trials of deployment etc…

It’ll be a good test…assuming this pro rec comes through the way we want it lol

 

[Oski510]

Word. I’d feel much more insecure about my relationship at 22 than I do now. Now it feels like it’s no factor because of where we are however we haven’t experienced the trials of deployment etc…

It’ll be a good test…assuming this pro rec comes through the way we want it lol

Exactly. A good test.

 

[Oski510]

I asked my recruiter if my profile shows an OCS date yet and he just got back to me and said no

 

[scamps6531]

I feel like healthy, successful, happy relationships in general aren't the norm, but that could be my inner cynic talking. I can't imagine how much more difficult deployments/weekend events would make things. I would be interested to hear your thoughts on staying single vs trying to start a relationship/make a relationship work while in the fleet. Is it worth trying to make it work, or would it better to wait until you get out and or have some more life stability?

It really depends on the couple, and their relationship.
I've been married since I was a Private First Class and have now been active for over 8 years with multiple deployments, detachments, and plenty of time away from home and lots of late nights.
It was hard coming up, but everything my wife and I have we have built together.
We are still happily married, and our experience has made us a lot more patient and understanding.
The military will always be hard on a relationship, no matter if you're in school or on a deployment, but I wouldn't let anyone else's bad experience sway your decision.

 

[villo0692]

I just love how this board went from Top Gun enthusiasm to, A Night with Liza Minelli

 

[Ruvo]

I just love how this board went from Top Gun enthusiasm to, A Night with Liza Minelli

Bruh all the adults I know are divorced, I need all the help I can get

 

[GodSpeed1997]

Bruh all the adults I know are divorced, I need all the help I can get

?? facts

 

[terraformer]

My grandfather is a retired vice admiral and I know it was hard on my grandma, mother, and uncle when he was going through training and when he would deploy. However, they have the strongest marriage I know.

This was in Vietnam days but he got married before OCS. My mother was born shortly after OCS (they worked quickly).