I think that what you're missing is that your anecdote serves as a counter-point to everything you are trying to claim about systemic racism in the 21st century.
No one is denying that there are people alive today who had to deal with real, actual systemic racism. However, those policies were lifted in the 1960s and through the 1970s-1980s, equality became a thing guaranteed by law and actually enforced.
Your anecdote serves as evidence that those public policy changes were successful. Free from the shackles of institutional racism, you were able to become more successful than previous generations could ever imagine. You had to work hard because your parents were broke to make a better life...that's like, the American dream since it was a British colony.
Despite this, you claim that's not good enough and there continue to be systemic barriers to black people's success. That's where you lose everyone. What did you do that was so special that is nearly impossible for the rest of black Americans to do without a change in public policy?
Re: crime laws
The crack wave and inner city crime waves of the late 80s / early 90s is still studied by PhDs, and there's no consensus on why they occurred and why they got better. To distill it down to 'tough drug and crime laws are racist' is a lazy, and ultimately a racist argument in itself with little evidence to support it.