Dependant? Question about BAH and stuff

[rolo12]

As far as staying at Whiting for primary... I used to work at API. If you volunteer to work in student control while you are waiting to start classes at API, they will "work" with you a bit more. It's a "you scratch their back, they'll scratch yours". The worst case scenario is that there are ZERO spots available at Whiting the week you graduate...(pretty rare that it happens, but it does happen on occasion). Aside from that, you'll probably get a "STASH" (temporary) job while you wait to start class...why not get one that may help you out... My $.02
...and if you're wondering, I was an instructor there.

 

[loadtoad]

The lying is what gets me. Old enough to be married, old enough to let people know. Stupid little twits do this all the time & then tax time comes around & Mommy & Daddy find out... Seriously, if you're going to get married, do it & own up to it. Lying is where the problem lies & as some have posted, the lying is where the drama comes fr. People actually do understand military life & that sometimes our time schedule doesn't match the one Uncle Sam issues us.

You do things your way, I will do things my way.

 

[Harrier Dude]

The lying is what gets me. Old enough to be married, old enough to let people know. Stupid little twits do this all the time & then tax time comes around & Mommy & Daddy find out... Seriously, if you're going to get married, do it & own up to it. Lying is where the problem lies & as some have posted, the lying is where the drama comes fr. People actually do understand military life & that sometimes our time schedule doesn't match the one Uncle Sam issues us.

I understand what you mean, but I still don't understand the reasons behind lying about it, or the irrational parents that make that necessary.

Look, I have 3 daughters. If one of them were about to marry a servicemember about to deploy (I know.....not the same situation, but hear me out), I would actually suggest to them to go do the JOP deal before he left. That's just smart legal planning and a paperwork drill. In my mind, the wedding isn't "real" until those involved say that it is, normally the church wedding.

If they didn't tell me about the JOP, I would be a little hurt that my daughter didn't think that she could come to me with that, but I'd get over it.

Why is so much drama surrounding this whole JOP drill? It's just paperwork (unless that's what the couple considers their "final" ceremony).

 

[KimberlyD]

The drama surrounds the JOP thing when these little twits go to boards designed specifically for military spouses & complain b/c now their parents know ab their JOP marriage. They expect huggles & "your Mommy & Daddy are so mean to not pay for your college anymore" type responses.

I went to the JOP, my parents (the people who were married on the 8th of December rather than 7th b/c The Chapel of Hope in Newport, RI wouldn't perform that day & my Dad was deploying straight out of OCS) still haven't gotten over it & we were 100% honest ab it. The invitations went out in August 2001, he was due home fr deployment October 13, 2001 & the wedding was supposed to be November 3, 2001, obviously, he was needed & so when the airwing flew in on November 9, 2001, I told him he had 2 choices, the JOP or the Navy Lodge.

I owned up to the JOP, it wasn't the wedding of my dreams but I sure as heck wasn't going through the business of planning another one.

I just get incredibly tired of people lying to their parents & friends. I can't tell you how many times "engaged" friends have been caught b/c she's seen using the medical, the Commissary, whatever & everyone gets upset they got lied to.

I'm not saying not to go JOP, the OP says he will be honest ab going JOP, I am responding to the people who think it's okay to lie ab it. I've been interviewed by 5 Security Clearance people in the last 4 months & in 2 cases I did respond that yes, I knew the SM had lied & told them what they lied ab. We were not on the "list" to be interviewed but b/c we were their neighbors, we got questioned. Your neighbors often know more ab you than your friends & so screeners go to your neighbors. Not worth being denied a security clearance b/c you're a known liar ab something so ridiculous to lie ab.

Anyway, where are Brett & Casey to tell this poor guy that the Manatee is going to ruin his life anyway?

 

[MasterBates]

I was in south padre chasing unwary college women in their pre-manatee phase.

Marriage bad. Beer Good.

My work is done here.

 

[navywings22]

I will not be lying to anyone. I never have lied to anyone in regards to this situation and have no intentions to do so.

 

[KimberlyD]

Navywings22, OP = Original Poster, that's you. I didn't say you were, just that others were advocating lying.

 

[navywings22]

Navywings22, OP = Original Poster, that's you. I didn't say you were, just that others were advocating lying.

I know, I just don't want others reading this post or giving their .02 to think that I was ever advocating it. In that case the advice I would get would be altered by the notion that I was planning on keeping it a secret. Thats all.

 

[robav8r]

I've been interviewed by 5 Security Clearance people in the last 4 months & in 2 cases I did respond that yes, I knew the SM had lied & told them what they lied ab. We were not on the "list" to be interviewed but b/c we were their neighbors, we got questioned. Your neighbors often know more ab you than your friends & so screeners go to your neighbors. Not worth being denied a security clearance b/c you're a known liar ab something so ridiculous to lie ab.

YGTBSM You're gonna tank someone's security clearance (and Naval career potentially) because they chose not to tell a few folks about their wedding plans?

 

[KimberlyD]

I am going to tell the truth to any question I am asked rather than tank MY husband's security clearance by lying over something so meaningless.

 

[lmnop]

I am going to tell the truth to any question I am asked rather than tank MY husband's security clearance by lying over something so meaningless.

This is my first post, so hopefully I'm not stepping on my junk here, but I felt compelled to respond to this one.

I was forced to do a JOP wedding due to an unexpected set of overseas PCS orders. We did it after all of the plans, travel arrangements,etc had been made for the big deal wedding. The people that needed to know that we were already married (ie parents), were told. All of the other cats and dogs that were coming didn't need to receive an addendum to the invitation in the mail outlining our reasons for a paper wedding followed by a real wedding. Just because someone doesn't tell YOU something doesn't make them dishonorable and certainly doesn't merit making them out to be the Manchurian Candidate to an investigator. As you said, ultimately, it is meaningless.

 

[haubby]

I'm not soo sure its ethical to meddle in someone else's personal affairs especially for an issue like this. Who are you to make that determination? Before you go and make assumptions about the people who do JOP's and withhold their marriage from the public maybe ask yourself what their family situation is like. Are they on good terms with their family? Perhaps one side of the family doesn't like the other. There are a lot of variables you might not be seeing. You might not agree with it, thats fine as you are entitled to your opinion, but all this sounds a little too Navy housingish for me.

 

[Harrier Dude]

I wouldn' worry too much about this security clearance stuff. Did they lie? Maybe. Depends on the circumstances in each case. It would be much worse in the opposite way. I.e. you told the govenment that you were married, but in fact, you were not.

The investigators will ask around, including the person being investigated, and see if they see a pattern of deceit. Odds are, they won't if this is all you were ever "disingenuous" about. Be honest and forthcoming about this in your interview, and you'll be fine.

If KimberyD is telling the truth in these instances as she see it, she's not going to be in any trouble either. Nor should she.

It's not like if the investigators hear one bad thing about you that they automatically deny you a clearance. It doesn't work that way. They have to substantiate claims.

However, people being investigated are entitled to (but not automatically provided) a copy of every statement that was made about them. If you say it to the investigator, you'd better be ready to say it to the person that you were speaking about.

 

[KimberlyD]

Harrier, thanks for explaining that.

To the rest, many times these are long, drawn out things. Not an "oops, we're deploying" or "let's make this legal quick & still have the wedding in 4 months", these are the cases where people are actively lying to some people (like their parents) to get something. 18 year old twits seem to do this & they are shocked when their parents are audited on their taxes & find out! That's what I'm talking ab.

 

[xmid]

The Chapel of Hope in Newport, RI

You mean donut land?!!!